Anger/depression?

[Preciouslamb1]

Hello

I have been working on my anxiety and reading Claire Weekes book and using her techniques ,

So I can say my anxiety is a lot better, Bieber continues to be a work in progress.

My issue is that I get so easily upset , have an outburst and usually after wards feel like it wasn’t such a big deal. The moment I get angry, I feel hurt, cry and get negative thoughts such as someone doesn’t love me or appreciate me. It’s hard to think clear when in that position.However after I calm down, I’m able to let everything be ok and think clearly again. But that moment of anger I can’t think clearly. And I get agitated, heart beat fast, hand shake. It’s like if someone says something that I may find offensive I immediately get very defensive and protect myself , but in an angry way. I would like to be able to express my point without getting emotional, or been offensive to others because I feel they hurt me. It’s really causing strain in my close relationships and even at work because I tend to be “snappy” and I don’t mean to. I want people to not think I’m this type of person because I do have a good heart and care for others, but I don’t know how to fix this part!!! Not sure if I have an anger problem or depression, I work a lot too so I’m not laying around at all, my days are pretty long and i have children .Help!

[zevietnameseguy98]

I am going through the same thing you are going through right now so I know what it feels like. Because of my issue, I have pushed a lot of people I love away and then so suddenly regret even getting mad in the first place. The only tip I can give you is to remain totally silent when you have that emotional rush coming through. Stay quiet, have some deep breath and really work your words out in your mouth first before saying anything. I am so sorry that you are going through this too, its very hard but you are strong and great so you will be fine. Stay strong xoxo

[Preciouslamb1 in reply to zevietnameseguy98]

Thank you so much for the advice. And you are right, if I can keep quiet when the emotional rush happens, I usually calm down and not explode. I have to make a point to work on this hard. Thanks

[zevietnameseguy98 in reply to Preciouslamb1]

I am glad I could help . Hope you are doing well.

[Preciouslamb1 in reply to zevietnameseguy98]

You definitely did, thank you

[zevietnameseguy98 in reply to Preciouslamb1]

You are welcome xoxo! Please don't hesitate to contact me or anyone of us if you need more help :).

[Preciouslamb1 in reply to zevietnameseguy98]

Will do! I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t join this site. 😊

[zevietnameseguy98 in reply to Preciouslamb1]

Me too! The kind folks up here helped me a lot in my dark times and they got me going and feeling better about myself .

[Preciouslamb1 in reply to zevietnameseguy98]

Absolutely, it’s hard to find people that won’t judge and that can actually relate

[AZ1970]

It sounds like a trauma response. Your amygdala is being activated. Your brain interprets everything as a threat. So you go to "fight". Some people have a flight response and some have a flee response. There is too much to write about it here. I am reading a good book called Complex PTSD-From Surviving the Thriving by Pete Walker. He does a great job describing it. I have learned a lot from him.

[Lymeforyears]

Hi Precious lamb,. I get it. I'm working with that right now with meditation although j have a long way to go. It's so crazy because I know it's better to be kind then be right but it's like I always find myself trying to be right. Or if I feel ignored or misunderstood I can get very defensive but it's out of hurt that turns into anger and doesn't start as anger at all. I am trying to visualize myself lowering my voice and trying to defend myself in s peaceful way but I am just not there yet. I have the biggest heart ever and have been taken advantage of in all my relationships and my family as well. I think it has slot to do with being a compassionate and kind person when others don't always relate to that. Let me know if u find anything that helps and I will the same. I do remember there actually being a diagnosis for our "snapping". And I do snap and literally physically it takes a lot out of me and I hate it. I think it's called emotional something disorder. I do remember reading about it years ago and relating but still feel it's years of bitterness at giving out alof if love and not always being understood etc. just my two cents but I get it 💛💛

[Preciouslamb1 in reply to Lymeforyears]

Thank you Lymeforyears, I definitely can say that I have experienced many people that took advantage of me including family. I usually let a lot go. But I don’t usually stand up for myself and when I do is an explosion. Then with other people , I’m always snapping and accusing them to taking advantage of me. I will definitely let you know if I find something that can help. Thank you for the advice