I’m feeling like such a FK N looser. My negative thoughts don’t stop! On the outside I look and playoff strong , active, but boy I sure don’t feel that in my head.
I feel like the worse employee at work... the worse partner to my fiancé at home. I want to scream and shout and let it all out. I want my co workers to legit understand what my mental illness is. I want my partner to understand too! That I’m not well... I’m not just a mean Bitch. I’m not well...
So frustrating isn’t it?! You want to be understood. I once knew a girl who was so mean. Mean to everyone. A real mean B. She had some childhood trauma because her mom left her as a kid. She pushed everyone away, like she lived in a snow globe and no one was allowed “in.” If anyone got too close she would push them away with mean words, or even backstab or bully. Anything to avoid getting close, probably because of what happened with her mom.
I hope that’s not describing you, but if it is, take heart.
What strikes me in your post is that it’s alllllllllll about thoughts. 100% thoughts, and zero feelings. Dee-Dee00, that self-talk will take you down. If your goal is to feel better, you gotta start learning about emotional literacy and practice saying how you feel. Not “I feel like no one understands” because that is still a thought. Feelings are usually one word, and don’t involve another person. “I feel misunderstood,” is still a thought because it involves another person’s actions toward you.
“I feel discouraged,” is a feeling. I am hopeful and optimistic and cautious and calm about you learning the happy, centered, proud, excited world of emotional literacy!! 😀
This is so beautiful. I’ve attempted the mirror self talk positive affirmations. 💔 I can even look in a mirror. I hate what I see and can’t even look at myself because I’m not a good lier and affirmations to myself are lies In my twisted mind.
Hi! Yes! Your mind isn’t totally twisted. This is a common problem. You stand and say, “I am a good person!” And your mind rebels and says, “Bulls#%t.” If you fight it, your mind will find and present to you memories of you being a bad person. That meanie in your mind is called the inner critic.
There’s a way around this. It involves tricking your inner critic with statements that can’t be disproven. You can say positive affirmations like this:
“I want to be a good person.”
“”I hope one day to look in the mirror and like what I see.”
“I am willing to take steps toward learning how to feel good about myself.”
“I am able to try new things so one day I feel like a winner.”
Are those better? (You can tailor them to your situation.)
Notice the formula: They are still incredibly positive, and still count as affirmations. They account for the difference between where you are and where you want to be. Your mind will be able to accept them better. This is how I talk kindly to myself, because of that same thing with the inner critic.
🦋
I feel like I am going crazy at the moment as my Negative thoughts won’t switch off, even if I take medication to calm down it doesn’t stop my thoughts.Any advice please
Will medication stop thoughts? Hmm. Not sure.
You may want to try getting out of thoughts and into feelings. Pull up a feelings wheel online (a big one with at least 30 feelings). and find five feelings that you feel.
What even if they are negative feelings?
Negative feelings are awesome. There’s no such thing as a wrong feeling. That blew my mind when I first learned it. I said to myself, “No, shame and anger are wrong. And I hate having them.” But that’s actually not true. What I hate is having to hide them from myself and others. Shame and anger are not wrong. Neither is sadness or resentment. There are a lot of feelings that we have been taught to hide. We think they are “wrong” but they aren’t. 😀. If you can talk about your negative feelings in a safe space, I think you’ll find that you feel better because you’ll be able to process them once you accept them. That’s why I ❤️ love Mumma_h ’s answer below. Mumma processed her anger in a safe space and ...felt fantastic afterward.
Thank you! I will try.
I’ve noticed I’ve been really angry lately, I Stuff it down and it actually makes me physically sick , burning sensation in stomached. I get tired of blank looks and stupid sayings blah blah , they mean well for sure ( I think 😆), I just want to be understood too. Well the other day I let rip. Fortunately not at anyone but In front of someone and they just let me go for it , I swore and everything!! I was sooo mad because I was soooo hurt, I’d felt I’d been shamed and humiliated and it got too much especially because it was over my son who almost died last week , it was horrendous!!! We nearly lost him twice in one week , praise god he’s getting better. Got it all out, I felt guilty afterwards but the anger I’d pushed down for so many years came out , and then was gone . Still there a little bit but sooo much better I was raised to not stick up for myself ever!! To always be nice NO MATTER WHAT even when I was abused as as child ( sexual abuse )I was made to feel like a self righteous big mouth and trouble maker and that there was something wrong with me , soo unhealthy!!! Also unless people have been there they can find it hard to understand, they don’t know how bad it feels, that it doesn’t leave us when we go to work, it’s with us wherever we go . If only they understood how bad I feels i use to think to myself , then they’d hug me and send me home and help me . But I for one understand and so do many here too . Is there anyway you can let it all out with someone, ask a close friend or someone you really trust , say please, I just need to get it out . I didn’t need a response from this person who did it for me , they graciously listened and then smiled at me and said good !!! Go for it !! They actually said It was a little funny seeing me like that , we both laughed , and I felt great . Gee did I let rip . I even got on my sons punching bag and went to town, lol . The feelings still come back here and there but then I remind myself of the moment I let it out and feel a bit better again. Stuffing everything down contributed to my deep depression I was in . A counselor could be good for that , tell them what you need to do and they might have a really positive response to that . Just a suggestion, hope you feel better soon . ❤️
I love this. 🌈
I had a similar situation at work- for the FIRST time in my life I just couldn't take it anymore- the bullying by a co-worker. Something snapped in me and I just let it all out. I told her off...and it felt great!
I did this and I stormed out... not a good professional move but I realized at that time that I needed to cut all the negative people out of my life. I wish people would see what I'm going through inside my head.
In my case it was a good move because it ended the co-worker's bullying treatment of me. Standing up for one's self doesn't come easy for people like me who have cripplingly anxiety and fear, but sometimes you just cant take the horrible treatment any longer! Since people can't see what's going on in your head, you have to tell them.🗣️🙂
I can relate... oh man , can I relate . Most people see me and will assume I’m the most gleeful and content person.
Heck, I have spent time with former friends and coworkers at functions and they have no idea I’m battling such horrible anxiety and depression .
It sucks to have to play the role of being ok when you’re not.
Isn’t it awful, I actually felt like I was dead inside,yet was forced to just pretend I was ok . If only they’d scratched the surface they’d see I was in a terrible state . It made me feel worse !! But I’m glad they didn’t, I was really really bad , if they opened my can of worms I probably would have bee institutionalised and lost my precious children. I pretended I was ok with my children so they were ok , in fact I did more then, camping , swimming, everything 😆ran myself ragged, so attentive and they’re my world . I acted perfect so no one could get anything on me . ( I was also abused really badly psychologically by my husband and he terrified me he’d take the children ) . Extreme circumstances but the feelings are still the same!!! I’m adamant about that !! . I get you , it’s horrible to have to stuff your feelings down. Hey if you don’t find anyone you can let rip with me , privately of course 🤣if I can find out how to msg on private.
💔🙏🏼
Dear Dee-Dee00, I read some more of your posts . And I’ve had those same thoughts, not thinking anything good about myself. ( it may seem I think I know a lot about EVERYTHING 😆 but have been through sooo much , don’t want to seem like a know it all😆but I have had a lot happen in me relatively shortly life , I’m 47😁) . You are good enough, you are precious, you are adored by god JUST the way you are . I felt like I MUST be doing something wrong to deserve such extreme heartache and if i took all the advice from those around me and it still isn’t helping me then I’m not as good as them and I’m just a “wrong person ‘I think for me the lines that once were straight became VERY blurred. As in if I did something nice for someone then maybe I did it for selfish reasons; not true ! Or I must be going crazy because I’m not being treated the way I’d treat others therefore I came to the conclusion I MUSTVE done something wrong . Or I’m so emotionally exhausted that I have nothing left to give so i felt useless. Just some examples of how I felt. You are not alone!!! You were created in God’s image and he adores you and knows your beautiful heart , just how you are . Don’t put too much pressure on yourself , god doesn’t want that from us , he wants to heal YOUR heart . Also our sense of time is different to his , I put a lot of pressure on myself and my depression was very long and I thought it was too late for me . This is a huge lie !!! Anything that brings you down or dosnt bring you comfort is not from God . I never thought Id be ok again . I remember oneday I was in my backyard and I was thinking what to cook for dinner, that’s all I was thinking about , and I thought to myself praise God , that’s what I have to worry about today !!!! Dinner???!!!! If that was my biggest problem of the day then I knew I was healed or on the way to healing. I’d love for everyday just to have that problem!! I pray you see yourself through God’s eyes . He knows everything, he knows why , when , where ...... your feeling this way . Any fears are lies!!! You are fearfully ( carefully) and wonderfully made . You WILL get better, you WILL !!! One good thing I can say about myself is I try !! I try and try and try , that’s gotta be good , right ? My low self esteem from young opened me up to all sorts of use and abuse just for a couple hrs company❤️.
Do you think talking to them about it would help
I understand. Some people in my family refuse to believe that what I'm going through its even real.
Sounds like you are going through a lot right now. I am really sorry. While the explaining to coworkers a part is more difficult because of other potential ramifications, you might consider having a therapy session with your fiance where it can be explained to them in a safe and professional environment.
Though that is scary to think about, going through with your wedding without telling your fiance creates secrets before you are even married about something that will be ongoing and adds the potential for a future relationship problem. If this person loves you enough, they will be stay with you as you are, and work with you to maintain your equilibrium.
It is just a thought. Regardless of what you decide, always remember that you can regain control and peace of mind. It takes vigilance and may require therapy and/or meds. I hope you find the path that makes you happy!
Depression and Anxiety 
I hate Depression 
depression 
Depression is Valid.
Anger/depression?