I am paralyzed during the winter. I haven't really done anything since Christmas. I have friends and family who can listen and give advice

[Srrahmac]

Hi, I'm a 69 year old woman living alone. I am diagnosed with Treatment Resistant Depression. I've been struggling with this for years. I have doctors and a mental help therapist, but I'm unable to move and get things donw since Christmas this year. The winter has been brutal, so dark and cold. Instead of being paralyzed on the couch, I'm trying to use mindfulness to get moving again but having a very difficult time. Would love to listen and chat with others who have strategies or ideas or even to commiserate.

[Beevee]

Hi there. I wrote a post on this forum 2 years ago about "treatment resistant" anxiety/depression that you might find helpful.

In short, these conditions ARE treatable, sufferers just haven't realised that the reason they continue to suffer is because they are trying too hard to feel better or they give too much respect to the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

The way to recover is to accept how you might be thinking and feeling and take your anxiety and depression with you while going about your business . Even if this means pointing your body in the direction of the day ahead to begin with, it is important to keep moving forward, no matter how small those steps may be. Recovery lies within you and is waiting to happen.

Best wishes! ❤️

[Srrahmac in reply to Beevee]

I so appreciate your advice. I have been trying to do exactly that and it does help you to get up and move. I'm also trying to learn mindfulness, It takes a lot of practice and I'm not there yet, but when I get in that moment I feel calm and peaceful.

[Beevee in reply to Srrahmac]

It has everything to do with developing a genuine attitude of acceptance, defying the anxiety and depression, changing all those "what ifs" into "so what!"

My recovery stemmed from a book called Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes and practising her teaching until it became second nature. I hoisted the white flag and surrendered myself to all the thoughts and feelings and let it all go. It was very difficult at first to let go of the symptoms but you will get there, especially when you get moments of clarity and can see for youself that all that negative crap is superficial and a bluff, making it easier to do nothing! Confidence gained going through this recovery process will never be lost.

[Srrahmac in reply to Beevee]

I just ordered the book. Feeling hopeful

[Srrahmac in reply to Beevee]

That's so true. I'll take that with me today. Thanks!!

[gajh]

If you have Treatment Resistant Depression, you may want to talk to your doctor about other treatment options. Some people have found success with Ketamine or TMS Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Being here on this site talking with others who have depression and anxiety has been very, very helpful to me. Hopefully you will find it as helpful for you.

[Srrahmac in reply to gajh]

Thanks for your advice. Unfortunately Ketamine and TMS were not successful. Poor me!! But I am finding this site extremely helpful Thanks so much for listening.

[gajh in reply to Srrahmac]

I have had some success with LENS Low Electrical Neurofeedback System. I had 12 treatments. It was not covered by insurance. I also did not have success with either Ketamine or TMS.

[Srrahmac in reply to gajh]

Thank you so much! I'm looking into it now

[Barbloki]

Hi, I'm starting to hear that phrase a lot lately, Treatment Resistant Depression. I think I have it and I'm going to ask my therapist this week. I've tried so many medications that I've lost track (but I do have them written down in my computer). Last week the psych gave me a sample pack of Caplyta because I've been in a deep depression since August and got to the point of thoughts of death. I took the first pill on Saturday and had horrible side effects all day, all night, and into Sunday. I'm not taking anymore of it. I'm 61 and on disability but my husband still works. We have no children and no family around here in NC. We are from NH where family and friends are. I'm lonely and homesick but my husband said he will never ever ever move back there no matter what. Period. So here I am, alone. I'm glad I found this group. I hope you find support here.

[Srrahmac in reply to Barbloki]

I can relate. I think I've exhausted every antidepressant. They just don't work for me.I will say that one very good compassionate psychiatrist had a very good idea. She did a test called a "Genomind" on me. They swab your cheek for a DNA sample and the test tells you how each receptor in your brain is working.

When she had the results, it was very enlightening. The first thing she said to me was, "Stop blaming yourself, you do have depression. You also have ADHD" I'd been thinking I must just be feeling sorry for myself, but the test was concrete evidence. It showed that the depression and ADHD would respond to Methylphenidate. It has kept me free from severe depression, but since my brain burns through dopamine, it wasn't a cure.

The test is expensive, but

I was lucky enough to have insurance coverage

It may be helpful to you.

[Barbloki in reply to Srrahmac]

Is that the same thing as the GeneSight test? I had that done in 2022 and it was very enlightening.

[Srrahmac in reply to Barbloki]

It probably is the same. It was game changing for me

[barlock]

I make a list of things to do everyday. just a couple, It makes me feel good when i can cross them off. Winter is dark and cold here also

[Srrahmac in reply to barlock]

Thanks!! I crossed a few things off my list today

[Barbloki]

lfallis, I also read Pastor Rick's Daily Devotion and lately I've also been listening to it. I've been reading/listening to him since I became a Believer in 2008. It helps to start the day with his positive encouraging words but my problem is I forget an hour later and I'm back into my negative thoughts. I can't seem to hold onto faith. I think I am under attack.

[Srrahmac in reply to Barbloki]

So easy to slip back to negative thoughts. I have to acknowledge them and listen again to the show and try again

[Barbloki]

I feel like I need a new brain. Mine is broken and defective.

[Srrahmac in reply to Barbloki]

I'm hoping we can rewire it!

[Barbloki]

Those are perfect verses. I printed them out and will read them every day. Thank you!