Pain and Sadness

[Blueeyes2sad]

I hate me so much!!! I'm a worthless piece of garbage. No man could ever love someone so broken.

I'm filled with Sadness and pain. It never leaves. The only moments of peace is during sleep.

Childhood trauma sucks. It destroys you.

Why didn't my father love me enough to stay. Why did he abandon me at 6 years old. Why?

[Swilly97]

I'm so sorry that your struggling. I understand. Do you have any coping skills or anything that could help you?

And, (I don't know you but I know this) you're not a "worthless piece of garbage". And your father, well that's on him, not you.

Huggggggggggggggg

[Blueeyes2sad in reply to Swilly97]

Logically, I realize it's not me. The effects are still the same. My relationships with men are affected. I'm constantly looking for a man to love me. I never feel good enough.

[Blueeyes2sad in reply to Swilly97]

Thanks for the hugs.

[Swilly97 in reply to Blueeyes2sad]

You're welcome. I understand your position. I hope you feel better.

[Blueeyes2sad in reply to Swilly97]

I'm not sure if I'll ever heal. My heart and soul are broken.

[Blueeyes2sad in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you for the well wishes

[Swilly97 in reply to Blueeyes2sad]

Anytime. Please have faith. You'll heal. 🙏

[Blueeyes2sad in reply to Swilly97]

I've lost faith. It's been close to 50 years of self-loathing, low self-esteem, and feelings of worthlessness.

I want to be free from all the suffering. I'll even take even one day to not feel any of it. My brain is the enemy.

[Swilly97 in reply to Blueeyes2sad]

I get it. When I say that, I mean it. Please hang in there and put some trust into yourself. You do deserve good, peace, and happiness.

[Swilly97 in reply to Blueeyes2sad]

Just take things very slowly. Not even a day but, a moment at a time. 10 minutes at a time. Give yourself some grace and patience.

[Blueeyes2sad in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you. It's just such a lonely place to be. No one truly grasps the pain, only those who suffer

[mauv]

God made you so you are not worthless. You have a disease you didn’t cause, can’t control or cure. Are you in therapy? Are you on meds? Do you have a friend? Call her and ask her to write down what your positive traits are. Then focus on them because your brain is not reliable. It is telling you lies. Do one activity a day and give yourself credit for it. Even brushing your teetn. Try to get outside and sit in the sun. We have to get a support team. Usally your psychologist, friend, family member. People who will help you in time of crisis.

[mauv]

We have to learn to take it easy on ourselves. Start hugging yourself no matter now you feel. Right now you need to ask for helpif you fill you are that low. This is the first step in taking care of yourself.