Anyone else not celebrating new year because of obstacles? I'm really worried. New year support chat?

[Against_the_current]

I'm unable to walk, with a sprained knee, a bronchitis, anxiety, drinking mom, dad's at his new family's. Yesterday i felt really unwell and went to sleep, mom's mom called me and i told her im really worried about new year and sis will be out, me and mom drinking and self-pitying herself that she's not partying even though she doesn't like it she just compares her life with her co-workers'. Last year mom drank and i asked her to stop and she called me a drug addict for my meds. I have this superstition that however you meet the new year that's how it will be. In best option i will be asleep. I'm having nightmares there will be zombies because the year goes so bad. Since 2020 things are going worse and worse. I'm scared. I need support. And my grandma called me and i told her im worried her daughter will get drunk and abuse me and i can't leave because i litterary can't walk and she told me to go to dad's. I hung up. That's just punishing me for dad's mistakes. He hasn't invited me. Also she has absolutely no right to tell him what to do and he knows that. She can't even tell her goddamn daughter to stop acting like a goddamn pig. I'm breaking. I need help. Please. Please i can't take another terrible yeear. Pandemic, half-sibling, mom alcoholic, sis alienated, wars, inflation, real aliens. Honestly i really think there will be zombies. I'm agonizing. I wish someone held me and took me out of home to be away from mom and watch the fireworks but i can't walk. And someone took mom to a corporate party or something so she's not grumpy and i was well so she could go. I really need support. I'm starting to see zombies. Im losing my dear mind and therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, school and family couldn't care less. I'm agonizing. Help 😭

[TangledUpIn]

Wow. You have a lot going on😵‍💫 I don't have advice, I just wanted you to know that we hear you.

[Against_the_current in reply to TangledUpIn]

Yeah i do😭

[CLB1125]

my dear, it sounds like you are spiraling out of control. Step back and use your education. I’m going to say this and you might get angry at me but think about it as someone with phycologist education. Your dad is human. I don’t know the story behind your dad’s mistakes but there’s a saying (religious actually) those without sin cast the first stone against the sinner. He may have made mistakes, but have you never made mistakes? Your mother? We all make mistakes especially in matters of the heart. Do you think maybe it’s time for forgiveness? He is still your father and I'm sure he loves you very much. Think how much lighter you will feel not constantly feeling anger at him. Isn’t that a good way to start the new year? There is so much negativity/anger in your family there is no chance for healing until someone takes the first step to change the situation. New years day is just another day. But maybe you can make the new year better for everyone….be the change

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

I'm not mad at him. I even tell grandma and mom he can do whatever he likes. I'm just terrified of mom

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Again, CLB brings the wisdom. And your anger at your father is plain every time you write about him. I think CLB is right that working on forgiveness will lighten your load and help you get well.

Allow me to suggest again that you not talk to your family about the other members of the family. It does you nor anyone else any good. Talk to us. We won’t get riled up.

We’re here for you.