Help Needed

[Thistooshallpass7]

a year later I find myself going through heartbreak again. Right before the holidays. I cannot understand why this happens to me, what is wrong with me? Why am I always being hurt, is something just wrong with me?

I was with someone for a year and coming closer to the end of this year, I saw some stuff on his phone that completely broke my trust. I was also sent a picture he posted of himself which was half naked and he posted to his close friends to which he removed me. So much has happened since, there has been so much fights and now he is saying he does not want me because of how I am. I can’t control my feelings, I complain too much, I am so many negative things….

I find myself feeling so anxious, depressed and rejected that I even resorted to begging. I am so ashamed but I do not know how to feel better. He is treating me so cold, he has made his ig profile public and he’s just being really off. I feel sooo horrible

[litethatnevergoesout]

hi Chrissyj since you mentioned past bad luck I looked up your older posts. I’m really sorry you’re going through this very same thing exactly a year later than the previous one.

we can’t control what others do, but we can choose how we are going to handle things when they go totally sideways on us. I understand your pain and wish I could make it go away. trust is a big deal. so is loving kindness. seems like those are slipping through your fingers. self blame is always going to be something we tend to do when we feel like it’s us that are the failures.

everything is so fresh right now. its naturally going to be difficult to not think of him. treat yourself kindly and with love. that means no beating yourself up. we are here for you. x

[Thistooshallpass7 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

thank you so much! I really am working on self blame and going down a rabbit hole but right now I don’t know how to do any better. Thanks for being here , it’s really hard, I do know I deserve better but somehow he made me feel like I am worthless and he is the best I can get. I believe everything bad he has said to me and what’s sad is, if he calls me now I will answer, if he needs me I will be there. It’s really tough

[LadyZen]

You sound like you deserve better.

[Thistooshallpass7 in reply to LadyZen]

I think so too

[Oshunlvr]

I am so sorry.

[Thistooshallpass7 in reply to Oshunlvr]

🥹🫶🏽 thank you

[Thistooshallpass7]

I agree but I don’t know how to leave. The last week we have been “trying” but all he did was put me down and made me feel horrible. I broke in the new year with him and I had to walk up to him to say happy new year and give him a hug. He didn’t even give me a kiss. Then when I brought it up he got angry and said I am spoiling his new year and he got in his car and left. My new year started so horribly but still I find myself blaming myself for everything that happened.