My dad passed away and I'm really str... - Anxiety and Depre...

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My dad passed away and I'm really struggling

GingerHoney profile image
29 Replies

I posted here a few weeks ago about my dad being on life support due to double pneumonia and covid and said he wouldn't make it. He passed away on the evening of February 6th. We had his funeral on the 15th. I am just having such a hard time. I feel like my heart has a huge hole in it. I feel empty. I never knew my heart could hurt so much...I just can't see myself ever being happy again. The world feels so dark and negative without him. I don't know how I am going to make it through this...

29 Replies
Shnookie profile image
Shnookie

Hi it’s Shnookie. So sorry 😐 for your loss. It’s understandable why U R feeling this way. U R in the raw painful stage of grief. I’m giving U a virtual hug 🤗. U might want to put your feelings into writing like a journal. Keep fond memories of your beloved dad close to your heart. U R very brave to reach out to Us on HU. I’m here 4 U

Hugs 🤗 Shnookie 💪

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Shnookie

Thank you for the hug, I think a journal is a great idea. Maybe that will help me in some way. Thank you for being so kind

Shnookie profile image
Shnookie in reply to GingerHoney

Of course. I’m. Here 4 U Shnookie.

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Im so sorry about this lots of hugs and love ❤️🫂 its really hard when you loose someone you love or care about

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Hb2003

Thank you, it is really hard but I'm trying to be ok

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Sending you my deepest condolences Ginger. You need time now to process all that has happened in the last month.

I understand the lost and empty feeling you have right now. Grieving

is an important healing time for you and your family. Talk about the good

memories, the father he was. Set up a photo collage that you can go to and

talk with him. (this was something my therapist recommended)

I decided to express my feelings for my father in the Guest Book. It felt

good to release my emotions and loss as well as give me some peace that

maybe my father got to see how much he meant to me and how blessed I was

in my life to have him.

Come talk with us as we listen and comfort you. I care xx

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Agora1

I did write my dad a pretty long letter to put with him at the funeral. I hope he knows what it says. I am really trying hard to be ok through all of this but it's so hard. I know that he wouldn't want me to feel like this though. Hopefully one day it's a little easier

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to GingerHoney

Ginger, may we help comfort you through this painful time. You are never alone :) xx

Norw profile image
Norw

My sincere condolences. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come up. Be patient with yourself. Grieving takes as long as it takes. I'm grieving my mom, who died in August of last year. Something that I was told: grief is like a rock that you carry around in your pocket. Some days it's a boulder (meaning that the grief is overwhelming), while other days it's much smaller (meaning that the grief is more manageable). We will never stop grieving our parents. One important piece of advice I feel I need to tell you because I experienced this at the hand of a friend who supported me:

If anyone tells you that it's time to be over the grief, RUN!

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Norw

I can't believe someone actually told you it's time to be over it, they must not have been unfortunate enough to feel this pain yet. I feel like all my days I have a Boulder in my pocket. Hopefully one day it can become smaller

Norw profile image
Norw in reply to GingerHoney

I can't believe it either. She's also said other things that you just don't say to someone who's grieving. My husband thinks that someone n the church reprimanded her for it. I hope he's right. I'm unfortunately learning how controlling my friend really is. Lesson for me: you find out who your true friends are in the midst of tragedy.Allow yourself to go through all the emotions. It does get easier, I promise. It takes time, though.

Take really good care of yourself, hon.❤

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

My heart goes out to you ... I am so sorry for your loss.

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to fauxartist

Thank you, I appreciate that

Marysblue profile image
Marysblue

I lost my father suddenly at 18. I know the pain you're in. It does get better with time. And I also just lost my last remaining relative here , my elderly Aunt, to covid last week.

My condolences on the loss of your father. Take care of yourself. Here if I can help.

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Marysblue

I'm so sorry that you lost your dad at such a young age. I am grateful that I got my 30 years with him. I am hoping things get easier soon

Arymretep profile image
Arymretep

Hi, I’m so sorry about your Dad, it’s an awful time as a part of life as you’ve always known is taken from you, I’ve lost both my parents and you never really get over it, but do try and remember all the wonderful memories you’ve had over your years together, it will get easier, be strong for your Dad.

Those that live in the hearts of others never die ❤️

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Arymretep

I am trying to be strong for my dad and also for my mom. I always knew that I would lose my dad but I never imagined it would be this incredibly painful.

Arymretep profile image
Arymretep in reply to GingerHoney

Do you still have your Mum

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Arymretep

Yes she is still alive and having a rough time. She married my dad when she was 16 and they were married over 40 years. I'm super worried about her and I just want her to be ok

Midori profile image
Midori

Bereavement is difficult, but don't fight your feelings. See your doctor and he may put you onto antidepressants for awhile.

Grieving is a natural process, it takes it's own time, sometimes short, sometimes long, there is no timetable, so Ignore anyone who tells you to 'get over it' because it doesn't work that way.

Do whatever you need to do to ease the pain you feel, whether its chatting to folk, or hiding away with a book, walking or whatever. This is the time to treat yourself gently.

Cheers, Midori

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to Midori

Thank you, right now I am trying to focus on helping my mom as much as possible. I am terrified for her. I can't imagine what she is going through. I am going to mention a few things to her and suggest she finds what makes her feel better. Thank you again so much.

RoseyViolet profile image
RoseyViolet

One day at a time... that's how you will make it. You go THROUGH grief, you will never get over the loss of your dad. That's a fact. There is a huge hole in your heart because a vital piece of it is now gone. Focus on grieving through the stages, NOT getting stuck in any one stage. I know it's hard, but keep moving forward in every grueling stage of it. It's necessary. Let the tears flow, they are liquid healing for the soul when no words can be formed. Everyone grieves in their own way, timing and season, "You do You" because you know yourself best, therefore you be the person working your way through grief in your own way and timing of it all. You are stronger than you know. Journal, it helps a ton. I write love letters to my sister who passed away, it helps to have a place to park emotions, thoughts and feelings. That was the hardest part was not being able to reach out to her again after she was gone. You'll need a safe place to "go" to remember. Praying for you my friend, this journey is hard.

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to RoseyViolet

I need to learn more about the stages of grief. I think that would help me understand more and might make it easier to go through them all. Thank you so much for the prayers. Maybe I will try to keep a journal and write some letters, thanks for being so kind.

piano1950 profile image
piano1950

Hi Ginger, this is Annette,I am so sorry for your loss. You are grieving and it is the most painful feeling, like a hole in your heart. Please take care of yourself and know that you will get better. You will be in my prayers.

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney in reply to piano1950

Thank you, I really hope it gets easier one day. I appreciate the prayers

piano1950 profile image
piano1950

hi ginger...thinking of you and just wanted to say hello

GingerHoney profile image
GingerHoney

Thank you very much

CL3V3R-G1RL profile image
CL3V3R-G1RL

My sincerest condolences to you and your family. I'm a daddy's girl myself. He too has been struggling with health issues lately. So this hits me in the feels 💔I can't imagine the pain you are going through. Only thing I can say is that you won't feel like this forever. Even though right now it feels like it will. Make no mistake you'll still miss and grieve for your father. As someone once said Grief doesn't go away but it does change. Grief is a passage, not a place to stay. Take your time to mourn. You'll always have your father with you. You carry his memory where ever you go ❤️

Hells18 profile image
Hells18

I’m so sorry for you’re loss I lost my dad last year and I guess in time you just learn to live with the pain. Maybe if you’re really at a low point speak to a doctor that’s what I did as I couldn’t sleep or do anything and they give me things to help sending you lots of love ❤️

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