New here

I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. (Had my first panic attack in the 5th grade.) I had been in therapy for 15+ years, but my therapist retired right before covid and I haven't pursued finding another. During that time, I had been on Prozac for about 12 years but decided--for other health reasons--to go off it about 6 months ago. It took about 6 to 8 weeks for it to be eliminated from my system, but when it did, my anxiety, which never really went away during that time, came roaring back 10 fold. It's manifested mostly in health anxiety and an overall feeling of impending doom. (Why continue if we're all going to die anyway?) Does anyone else feel this way? What have you done to help alleviate the darkness?

[Dolphin14]

Welcome to the community

I'm sorry you have been having such a difficult time.

This has been a long term issue for you.

If you aren't on meds and not seeing a therapist I imagine things are not going well.

Would you consider searching for a new therapist?

🐬

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

I would, but the idea of starting over with someone new is daunting. Rehashing the same old stuff and all. Even I don't want to hear it anymore. (Ha) I did find Ken Goodman's The Anxiety Solution Series via this website, which seems to be helping. There have been a lot of "a ha" moments while listening to the series. But then setbacks occur, which I know is normal, but still.... It's tiring.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Hidden]

I'm glad you found something that works, That's great news.,

It is exhausting. If I knew am easier way I would share it. I went the draining route but it worked

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

Draining as in traditional therapy and such? Part of me thinks because I was in therapy so long (CBT) that a new approach might be worth the effort. Not that Ken's methods don't include CBT, they're just more direct. I don' t seem to respond well to engaging with my fears in an effort to outwit them. They are much too clever for that.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Hidden]

I did trauma therapy, EMDR, and IFS therapy. Therapy two times a week for years.

I used the word draining and you used tiring. I meant it the same way

This is a very long road to travel. Finding balance with a mental illness can take some time.

You asked why do it if you die anyway..... for me it's about quality of life. I worked hard and I'm much better

I dig deep inside and I found the base of those fears. I tackled them over and over and over. I have control now

I wish you the best. I hope you continue to find those "aha" moments.

[Lg84]

Hello north, I was never religious but when I started having really bad anxiety I started reading about God bcs I felt like I needed a higher power in my life and after reading for a couple of days it gave me hope and made things a little easier for me so now every time my thoughts want to get out of line I get the Bible and just start reading and it relaxes me. Try different things to get your mind off what's going on around you and it will help you, I wish you the best and take care of yourself

[SR2727]

Hi NorthShoreGal,

I can empathise with your story somewhat. I struggled with mental health since I was a teenager and was on medication for around 6 years at a high dose. Last December I decided to get off as I knew it was just numbing me and causing more health problems. I too had a major surge in anxiety and depression, which was affecting my quality of life and my relationships. The past 12 months have probably been the most difficult I have been through in a long time.

Not all hope is lost though, only recently have a I began to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, there are multiple things in conjuction I've done to help. I did see a therapist for a while but I felt like I wasn't getting what I needed from it. So I started reading books that targeted my specific issues, exercising regularly and taking supplements that are said to improve mood. The best thing I ever done for myself was getting into journalling. It might not be for everyone but just putting pen to paper and writing out my fears, worries, anxieties and my obsessive thoughts in detail let me breathe a little. If you haven't already, I would recommend looking into "shadow work journalling" . Another thing I started doing was separating myself from my thoughts and feelings and looking at them as if they were a case study. Asking questions about my behaviour critically (but not judgementally) and I slowly started to see that alot of my anxious and depression stems from insecurity and Abandonment issues. I then began to treat myself as a friend who was going through these problems because I would always treat my friend with compassion and care, so why shouldn't I treat myself that way?

Anyways, sorry for the long reply but there's just a couple things I done to get myself on the road to recovery. I wish all the best on yours! And if you ever need someone to talk to, I will be around for support😊

[Hidden in reply to SR2727]

Actually, our stories are very similar. I've been doing most of the same: reading books targeting my issues, supplements, journalling. Also seeing my anxiety and worries from an observer's view. A lot of my issues stem from having a somewhat emotionally absent father (except for the angry outbursts directed toward my mother) who I'm quite sure, suffered from undiagnosed anxiety and depression. And a mother who suffered from health anxiety whose emotional needs came before everyone else's.

[SR2727 in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry to hear that! It can be difficult to address the affect the past has had on us. I've got a difficult relationship with my dad too - also emotionally absent, anger issues, narcissism etc. Only after starting therapy did I realise how much that impacted me. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you're not alone. It helps me, somewhat ☺️

[Sailingtoabetterday]

Ssri’s can cause anxiety, both while on them and then going off. I switched to Lamictal and it saved my life, it turns off the rumination which for me is what drove the anxiety. I was on it for two years , time for my brain to heal and reset. I’ve been off everything for 6 months and feel great. I do take DIM a supplement that blocks estrogen, I had normal testosterone but high estrogen. Ask your doc about Lamictal, you’ll know in a week or so if it is going to work. Hardy any side effects- some fussy thinking, but no big deal. Absolutely no sexual dysfunction like Prozac- I stopped having orgasms ( dry ejaculation). Lamictal works for many - don’t freak about the rash- extremely rare.

[Keepgoingeverybody]

I too had panic attacks and actually agoraphobia in my mid-twenties and again in my early thirties. Since then I've had several major depressive episodes. I'm 66 now and a few months ago I got ill (it turned out to be a warning, not serious for now) and suddenly fell into an intense period of anxiety after many years of effectively managing it; which then depressed me, because I'd tried to be on guard for its return. For me it was living alone, fearing that illness would force me to stop working, which seemed untenable, and the fears of aging and death.

I'm speaking from the position of a fellow struggler and student of all this for 40+ years. Like you, I do the best I can every day. Even if you've tried all of the above and feel it hasn't worked -- please please try it all again.

There really is a way out -- maybe, for some of us, not all the way out, but most of the way, and all the way for periods of time. And for some, all the way out permanently.

So, despite feeling miserable and discouraged, I brought out all the tools I've learned over the decades. Seems to be working. Anxiety is a habit, I think, and I'd gotten out of the habits that helped me stay well. Maybe these will help -- even if you've tried them all. Like exercise, it takes the drudgery of doing it all every day before you start to experience results. As I'm sure you know.

Mindfulness meditation -- try Jon Kabat-Zinn recordings as a way into it, if you haven't tried it before. Start slowly, gradually because initially it can exacerbate anxiety. I'd been a zealous practitioner for 15 years, but gradually stopped over the last 5. Re-starting my practice 3 months ago has really helped. I don't feel like it, many times, but I push myself and it helps.

Cognitive reappraisal with a really skilled DBT or CBT therapist -- there are probably triggers in your life that you don't even notice. Try to see if any changes in environment, circumstances, relationships, work, life-stage etc. affect the level of your anxiety. Then see if there's any way to alter them to give your mind more peace -- even a tiny bit. Try to notice if there are even the slightest shifts in intensity, day-to-day, and if so why? Then try to do more of whatever seems to shift it for the better.

Radical acceptance -- if you aren't familiar with the work of Tara Brach, get one of her audiobooks and see if it helps. If you fight anxiety it gets worse. That's one of the paradoxes. If you can somehow learn to accept that it's here right now (but can be eased), even manage to accept your discouragement without being angry at yourself or your anxiety, it might make it easier to work with. And I know how much work it is -- but that's the situation, and work is the way to calm it down.

Force yourself to go out and do things, see friends, or just do them on your own, despite the anxiety and the fear of more anxiety -- I know this can be incredibly hard to do , partly because initially the anxiety and discouragement may increase, sometimes dramatically. But if you can keep pushing yourself, and do other things (such as above), and celebrate every tiny shift toward feeling better, over time you can chip away at the worst of it. Try really hard not to beat up yourself or the people you love; no blame for you or anyone else. Try to focus on what you can change about your life and yourself, not what everyone else "should" change.

Medication (SSRIs, SNRIs and when it's really bad benzodiazipines like Xanax, Klonapin etc. . Who knows how much these medicines help, but use every possible tool. The alternative is more pain, which is untenable.

Finally, try to resolve that you will keep working as hard as you can to find ways to ease your mind. Feeling this way is not your fault. Whatever combination of genetics and environment triggered these feelings in the first place is, for now, not really relevant. Relief that can last is the only goal, so you can live as full a life as possible.

In every way, life, for as long as your body permits, is better than death because there's always always always hope. Your mind and body are a two-way street -- just as they're hurting you and keeping you anxious now and even for decades, they can help you and gradually release you, so you can live with more peace. The goal isn't a cure; the goal is incremental, tiny changes for the better. It seems to me that anxiety is a habit as hard to break as an addiction. You never really break addictions, you just learn how to resist them, and build counter-habits that ease them. For some of us it's a lifelong enterprise.

However badly you feel, however discouraged, however many things you've tried. Please try again. Try to find things that help even a tiny bit, then try to build on them.

[Thural]

Dear friend, I am from India. My daughter is suffering from Anxiety/ panic attack since 2019.

Initial stage we could not understand her. As days progressed we understood her problems. In between few doctors we consulted and nobody gave us proper guidance to handle the situation. Finally we landed in SCARF India and they have taken care of my daughter very well. Along with those medicine they started psychotherapy and it helped her a lot. It is almost 22 this therapy is going on. Now she is much better than what she was two years ago.

Apart from the above if physical exercise and meditation is there it might help her. By virtue of her profession she walks about 10 miles a day while on duty. But when she is down she sleeps like a kid.

I suggest you to follow the above treatment and you will become alright.

If you are in US try SGB injection after consulting your health care provider. Some people say it helps for some people.

In your case look for a good doctor to walk you in the correct direction. If you think you can do it then you can do it.

Keep trying friend. I wish you all the best. I have explained to the best of my ability. I hope it helps.

Best wishes friend

[Trainchaser]

I have been in the darkness a few times. Somehow I managed to work my way out of it. One of the worse feelings that you can have