New Here

[SherryD]

Hello, I am new here and just thought I would drop in and introduce myself. I live in the warm sunny state of Baja California and have suffered on and off for many, many years from anxiety and depression. My main reason for joining here is not only because I suffered from anxiety for years, but also, and most importantly, to help others out with the fears that this world of anxiety can bring on. I have been through every symptom of anxiety you can possibly think of and have used many self techniques along the way that have helped me to overcome each and every one of them. So, if what I have learned along the way can help others , it would make me more then pleased to share my experiences and symtoms that I endured along the way, and how I managed to get over them or at least, learned to live with them in a more positive way. I have been where most of you are right now and I know just how very frightening and frustrating it can be. I remember how I always wished to have someone who went through what I was going through in that time, just to tell me just what I would expect, but unfortunately, I had no one and had to learn on my own, and through sooo many experiences, and believe me, that was very very hard. There is one very important thing that us anxiety sufferes must never forget and something I had to learn the hard way, and that is, anxiety is never cured 100 % you only learn how to control it and live with it. That is why after so many years I still suffer from periodic relapses, but I now control them much better and never let them take over my life. Feel free to ask any questions, I will be browsing the forums ocasionally and help out as much as I can.....

[Keema1]

Hi.. It's nice to meet you I am new here as well, after reading your post I feel that maybe there is hope for me.. I have begun to suffer from anxiety pretty bad these last ten years of and on,, Mine has a lot to do with the Fear of rejection and being treated badly by other women. I have only one friend that I call a friend and often have trouble relating to others.. I have become withdraw and introverted and shy away because other women simply do like like me.. This has caused a great deal of stress for me at work, and general life situations .. I'm here to learn to feel good about myself again and learn ways to except myself even when others reject me.

[SherryD in reply to Keema1]

Hi Kerma,

Nice to meet you too, thanks. First thing you must never forget is, of course there is always hope, no matter what the situation is. Cases like mine and many others are solid proof of it. Hope is always there, you just got to learn to believe in it. You must realize that everyone gets rejected sometimes. We all have and there is absolutely no shame in that. Also, understand that it doesn’t mean that everyone will reject you if one person or more do. I believe the first step to overcoming this sort of fear is first learning to trust and believe in yourself. Working on that area first, will definitely make a huge difference in your progress for overcoming this fear. I think I can relate a bit, as a few years ago I was rejected in a job interview and felt terrible afterwards. That incidence, did in a way make me fear that just maybe in my next interview I would be rejected again, but I stopped one minute and sat there thinking that just because this one company did not accept me, why would another one not accept me if I have all the qualifications needed for the job? So trusting in myself and bulding my confidence of what I know I am capable of offering , I went for it and got the job. Fear of rejection becomes a vicious cycle, you just need to learn to build up enough confidence and trust in yourself to finally break the cycle....

[Chad-ganda]

Hi Sherry,

It feels so good to know that there is someone like you who have suffered a lot caused by this anxiety and yet you still sound very positive in life. I would love to know what did you do or how did you manage to cope up with your anxiety? I am still struggling with how to deal with it in everyday of my life. I started to have this condition two years ago after Ived abused an illegal drugs. When I finally realized to stop and start a new life I began to feel real awful maybe it was because I was already withdrawing from being drug dependent. Its really hard to live a life full of anxiousness and negative thoughts spinning my head all the time and awful feeling and everthing.....I am still hoping that one day Ill be able to recover from this crisis in life just like many others who have taken full control of their lives again. There comes a time in my life that i would feel like am losing control and thought of becoming crazy doesnt stop running my mind and it feels so bad. I know that I am still in control of my sanity but why is it very hard to let mind understand that what i am feeling is just an anxiety and that I have no mental illness that would make me crazy. I need your advise please.

[SherryD in reply to Chad-ganda]

Hi Chad,

Yes you are right, I suffered alot from my anxiety issues and the worse part of it all is I had no one to help me through it all. No one who would understand what I was going through because I was mostly always alone. I married at a very young age and unfortunately had a very abusive relationship, that I consider is what really brought on all my depression and anxiety. This went on for years and I suffered from just about every anxiety symptom you can imagine. One of the symptoms that really had me bad was as you mentioned, and that is I couldn't stop thinking I was surely going crazy or have some sort of mental illness that was going to ruin my life. From that abusive relationship, I had three beautiful children and I remember how I would break down and cry just thinking how my children are going to go on without me because I would surely be lost or something worse in the near future. I was alone because my manipulative and very abusive partner wouldn't let me have contact even with my own family, or anyone for that matter, also, I must mention that because of me leaving home at a very young age my family did not have much to do with me anyway. It was so hard. I was alone putting up with a very abusive relationship, anxiety and depression and raising three children before I was 20 years old! I am now 46 years old but suffered many years until I finally got control of my life again. I think that my first step to recovery was getting my hands on my first computer and finally having a chance to get into contact with the world, where I still remember how much I cried when I read the very first time about anxiety and the symptoms that it could cause, and from that moment on, I just knew there was hope and that I was probably was not going crazy or something afterall! I read how many people suffered from anxiety disorder and had so many symptoms similar to mine and still managed to control their lives, so that definitely brought me hope which in turn gave me the push I was needing. After so many years and lots of help from people online, I finally got the courage to leave the abusive relationship I was in and took up an online course for graphic design, started working part time, took up a hobby and started a well balanced diet which helped me so much. I tried to keep my mind occupied in anything but negative thoughts, I gave myself very little time to even think or feel the symptoms, although they were always in the back of my mind, the symptoms were less severe because I would no longer dedicate full time to thinking about them any longer. That itself, helped lower my stress response and of course that led to less anxiety. I now work as a full time professional graphic designer, I continue with my well balanced diet, I maintain myself well hydrated and try to at least exercise a couple times a week, even if it is only a walk in the park. I and many other anxiety sufferers are living proof that you can control it, and NO, you will definitely not go crazy or something. Once you learn to ignore as much as possible some symptoms by distracting yourself and convincing yourself from people like me ( who have been through it all ) that you will definitely not go crazy, that will lift up lots of stress, lessen your anxiety, and when you least expect it, all the other little bothersome symptoms seem to dissapear......

[Jenmomof3]

Hi Sherry. Reading your post gives me so much hope! I have suffered with anxiety for about 15 years now. I cannot tell you where my anxiety came from or why. It started after the birth of my first daughter. She was about a year old. My anxiety is mostly based upon a horrible fear of death. I am so afraid of dying and leaving my kids without me, or the thought that something could happen to them. It seems these thoughts are always in my mind. I suffer from physical symptoms the most. I NEVER feel good. I always have chest pains and nausea and sometimes I feel like I have numb hands and I have heart palpitations or I feel dizzy. Half of the time I don't even have that anxious feeling. Just the physical symptoms that in turn give me the anxious panicky feeling. I know that I am healthy because i have had every test done known to man, but cannot get over this fear and these physical symptoms. I fear I will never know if I truly have something wrong with me or if its just the physical anxiety symptoms. I just want to live my life without fearing everyday could be my last. I want to feel good. These physical symptoms are so hard to live with. Do you have any suggestions? Have you ever feared this as well? I feel so alone! I'm tired of people telling me I'm a hypochondriac or just don't think about it. I wish it were that easy.... Any input would be welcomed.

Thanks,

Jen

[SherryD in reply to Jenmomof3]

Hi Jen,

Actually, to a certain point, having a fear of death is completely normal. No one really wants to die, we are all afraid of it. So, your being afaid of death, we can say, in part is normal. The problem is, the time and energy you are putting into thinking about it, that is what creates your constant state of anxiety. Try to calm down and realize you stated that you have had all possible tests done which assures you that you don't have anything serious, because if you did, doctors would have certainly found it by now. I know, easier to say then believe right? But what makes you not believe it... is all the symptoms you keep on experiencing do to your anxiety. It is really hard for a doctor to convince a person who is suffering real symptoms...do to anxiety, into believeing that there is really nothing wrong with them, and actually, most of the time, they are never convinced until they are ready to be. Anxiety can creep up on any one at any time, sometimes we can not even pin point where and why it came on, but daily life stressors or past experiences are usually the causes. My advice is to try and use all that energy and time you are investing in thinking about negative things and try hard to invest it in something positive so you can start getting rid of accumulated stress that is causing your anxiety. Maybe a new hobby, excercise, going out more and becoming distracted with other healthy things. Also, keep your mind thinking clearly by following a well balanced diet and maintaining yourself hydrated, and if you still feel the need for a little more help, you could always look into cognitive behavioral therapy which is a certain type of psycotherapy that teaches you how to reconize and change thought patterns and behaviors that trigger deep anxiety and panic. Whatever the case, there is definitely lots of hope...

All the symtoms you described I have felt many times through the years of suffering anxiety...

[allmyself in reply to Jenmomof3]

hi jenmomof3: i 'm still going through that thing about death too, and sometimes it's hard to just close your mind to that, every little pain i feel send's me there, and it's because we hear and read about all this stuff that happens is a first sign of some kind problem and our brains just automatically tell us we are dying, so like sherry said i have try and focus on other stuff, sometimes it hard because i'm home alone most of the time. But i'm learning how to deal with it and it's not easy. At night lying in the bed before i go to sleep i have pretend there's a door in my head i say to myself, "close the door or the door is closed no more business". And if something pops up after that i think in my mind again" the door is closed and stopping playing with me", i know it sounds crazy but it helps me. And i also go through that feeling where my mind can be calm and next thing you i'm dizzy, sick of the stomach, headaches, hands shaking, But i also have carpal tunnel in both wrist so some times i really have it bad. So just try things that can help you feel at your best and calm u down. Everybody experience things differently.

Hoping this help a little......

[Jenmomof3]

It does help! It I honestly helps a ton just knowing that their are other people who feel the way I feel daily. I think it's hard for people who haven't experienced anxiety to fully understand how we feel every single day. It's also good for me to hear people have the same symptoms has me because it makes me feel somehow okay...