Husband is no help whatsoever

[EMP11993]

I have been depressed a lot recently. My husband suffers from BPAD and he is no help whatsoever. In fact, he's more often than not the cause of added depression. This is the case even when I tell him that I'm depressed, like I did this morning.

He has family in town. No problem, but he always wants me to be with him when he's with them. The problem? I don't know them and right now I can't handle getting to know them because of my depression. We were already supposed to get with his cousin tomorrow morning for breakfast. So why in the world did he just call her in front of me in to invite her and her husband for drinks at our house tonight? First off, they are not close. Second, if we do all of our hanging with obscure relatives tonight, what the heck will we have to talk about tomorrow morning for breakfast?

When I'm shoot daggers at him with my eyes, he says that he's sorry and that he meant to run it by me first. Maybe I'm a little off, but you can't give that excuse when the person is right in front of you as you're making plans that involve them. I plan on burying myself in my work in the other room while they are drinking, which I planned to do before he made plans, and I told him that. I don't want to be the antisocial in-law, but he has no problem being the jerky husband, so... He is so clueless as to why I was finally starting to feel a little better, and then shut down completely after he did that. I am beyond pissed right now because I feel like I am always in tune with his mood disorders and go out of my way to work with where he is mentally to make life a little easier for him, but I do not get the same consideration from him. I even told him this some time ago and he agreed and apologized, but he's still not giving me what I need when my depression is bad.

I guess I'm mostly venting, but if someone has insight on if this is BPAD 101, if he's a jerk, or if he really is just that stupid, please let a sister know.😭 Should I keep looking for kindness and consideration from him or do I have a better chance of hitting the lottery?

[EMP11993]

That's makes me feel better and worse at the same time. 😬🤦🏽‍♀️

[CLB1125]

Well it says one of the side effects is self importance. Does that fit? My husband is just a jerk most of the time so I’m no help.

[EMP11993 in reply to CLB1125]

He definitely has self-importance. Like, wow! There's just too many examples to cover here. My thumb would cramp. 😆

[hypercat54]

What is BPAD?

[DodgeDhanda in reply to hypercat54]

Hey HC54.

Sorry for crashing post EMP11993.

It's BiPolar Affective Disorder

[hypercat54 in reply to DodgeDhanda]

Oh thank you. I wish people wouldn't use initials assuming everyone knows what they are!

[EMP11993 in reply to hypercat54]

Bipolar affective disorder

[EMP11993]

Just wanted to provide an update. We had a brief heart to heart this morning and that made me feel a whole lot better. 😁 Hoping it sticks this time. I know he doesn't realize how negatively his important affect me, so I gave him a gentle reminder. At least he can relate since he goes through depression too as a part of being bipolar. Hoping our convo sticks this time, though I know it won't be perfect since neither of us are.