I have post partum depression and I feel like there is more to it but I'm embarrassed to talk to my doctor about it . Even though I feel comfortable with her. My son is 1 years old and he's my world. He is a happy normal child but I find most of the time I get really over welded having to care for him. Just playing with him and reading to him feels like a chore or a job. It's not like I don't love him or love to spend time with him it's just caring for him makes me miss the time I had alone before I had him. Now I would never ever change anything I love my son and he is my world but I can't help but feel this way. Things are just too much sometimes. And I take caffeine pills to get me through the day because without them I'm just exhausted and depressed. But then of course taking the caffeine pills makes my anxiety worse throughout the day. I also have severe insomnia and am currently taking 3mg lunes ya and some nights it doesn't even work, but when I don't get sleep I'm 1000x more depressed. I'm also taking Prozac 20mg, which seems to help a lot better than when I was on Zoloft originally. But the Prozac has made my social anxiety 1000x worse because I don't feel the need to talk to interact with anyone else behinds my husband , even though I want friends, my mind just thinks of having friends is a chore. I also don't like to be outside alone or anywhere alone it terrifies me so normally 80% of the day I'm inside. I don't even wanna go outside because I'm afraid of even interacting With neighbors. Staying inside all the time makes my depression worse and the only thing that helps my depression is going a store with my husband of course and spending money. Buying things makes me feel like I'm high and getting that instant gradification is addicting. If I try to even go one day without going to a store and buying something I get really depressed. I wish I could just be happy .
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