Therapy is a mess

[Against_the_current]

I really need rest and that's why im not active. But still i had therapy today and I told her about all the misery i have been through so she sees im not okay. She just used it to come at me. No advice for what i will do when i go back to university city and start vomiting. Just wasted an hour of the time i had for rest and got angry. I actually had cancelled this therapy, calling her "a goat" for watching me agonise for three years and not help me. I was not okay, my other therapist gave up on me, idk which city i will be in so I filled a form on their cite and they sent the same woman. I told her all the terrible things i have been doing to help myself and how miserable i am and she just used them to explain to me how miserable i am and analyse them in twisted ways.

She gave me no guidance on what to do. Universities announce tommorow who's in and i bet im in both. Grandpa wants me to continue in my university city but i just puke there and can't take care of myself and this damn therapist didn't say anything, just mocked my attempts to cope. Thinking about staying here to study but that means i have nowhere to escape mom if she goes really crazy and i have courses in university city. I can't settle to one of the cities. I need rest. I can't do this. And this damned therapy. I wrote to the company, didn't think they would send the same person i said im tired of. Today was going to rest and she ruined it. I don't want to go to university or courses or even the thing i got accepted for. I just want to stay in bed like a burrito. If mom wasn't drinking, would be perfect. And still don't know if grandparents will really cover two master's degrees or will just dump me after an year

[CLB1125]

I’m sorry you can’t get a therapist who understands your needs. Do you think maybe schooling right now is just too much for you? Could you talk to your grandparents and see if you took this year off if they would pay your schooling next year? Maybe find a quiet type of job for the year so you can rest?

[SoporRose in reply to CLB1125]

👆🏼

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

I can't work

[SoporRose]

I am sorry I disturbed your rest! I'll try to wait until you post on your own next time.

Sending you the same therapist who was so unhelpful seems like a breach of professional standards to me. How does engaging in "terrible things i have been doing to help myself" help if those things are terrible?

I hope you can figure out what you want to do. Both programs sound interesting. These kinds of decisions are difficult to make, but I think you can't go wrong. Psychology, logopedics, or both all seem like viable options. Which path is most likely to take you to a career at which you will excel and that you will enjoy?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

You haven't disturbed me, I'm glad someone cares for me. I actually love it. The terrible things are seeking help - terrible therapists, ppl who want repay (usually in pictures or just make me feel worse) , a voodoo shaman

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I understand now. Hmm. How about trying this? Step back from thinking about how to get the help you need for a bit and focus on eliminating what does not help you. Over and over again you have told us how much damage your therapists do. So maybe try going without therapy.

The brokers always upset you terribly. Perhaps don’t deal with them any longer. Try walking around neighbourhoods in which you would like to live and look for rental signs.

I know you won’t be able to clear your life off everything that upsets you, but perhaps you can lessen the number of stressors.

And for goodness sakes, stay away from internet charlatans!

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks. I'm trying to do this rn but brokers keep calling, in Bulgaria nobody puts rental signs and i worry how to get rid of the sharlatan and of the Freudian sharlatan

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

The charlatan-shaman has to be ignored and blocked. That's the only way to stop her. She can't hex you.

As for the Freudian: This isn't a bridge you need to burn. Tell the therapist (in person or in a note) thanks for all her time and effort on your behalf, but you are going to take some time off from therapy to work on other aspects of your life, but you will be back in touch if you again need the kind of assistance she provides. You shouldn't go into long explanations or lay blame. Just keep your message short, polite, and to the point.

You can do this.

[hypercat54]

You seem a bit confused how therapy works. They don't give advice but you talk through your issues and s/he shows you different angles so you can get it clearer in your head.

They are also there to guide you through difficult times and help point out the way.

There is no magic wand and you have to be prepared to put the work in to help yourself too. If you don't or can't then no therapist on earth can help you.

I wonder if they find you like a brick wall where nothing takes and it just bounces off you and back at them?

Many of us have suggested things to you but your mind doesn't seem open or receptive to anything, so I find it a waste of my time and energy.

There is always a reason why you can't take advice or listen to anyone else's experience from anyone and until you are willing and able to change that then I can't see therapy helping you at all.

I am sorry if this comes over as harsh but I don't mean it in a nasty way. I just speak as I find.

I hope you find a way to be willing to change and listen to others.

[Cariad-y-Mor in reply to hypercat54]

An excellent and insightful response hypercat54 . Hopefully Against_the_current will take on board your advice and start to gain some insight as to how she might deal with her problems.

[SoporRose]

Just letting you know that I’m thinking of you.