My husband said he will kill me and him self

[Ndizi]

Hello everyone, I need your help and advice on this, I have had issues with my husband concerning with his relationship with a baby mama who is also his relative, when I realized about it without him informing me, I changed my behaviour and never saw him as I used to. So today he got provoked over something small and said that I am trolling him over his mistakes by my behaviours. He broke glasses in the house and told me he will kill me and kill himself to solve those issues. So I told him to calm down to have a talk with me, and he did. So my worry is about his words about killing me, our kids and himself. Kindly give me any appropriate advice to me dears

[hypercat54]

Run a mile as fast as you can - now. Women are murdered by partners regularly so take him seriously please.

Call the police and get yourself and your children to a place of safety. Do it now please before he has a chance to carry out these threats.

This is a very dangerous situation and please don't make excuses for him or anything to stop you getting out.

If you can't do it for yourself then think of your children and put them first.

[Celtic27 in reply to hypercat54]

Well said hypercat54

[Celtic27]

Hi Ndizi sorry to hear of your husbands behaviour dont brush it off lightly but ask him to take counciling to deal with his moods you and your children need to be safe if he wont go for help seek help your self from a womens aid charity as you deserve better i wish you all the best stay safe !!!

[hypercat54 in reply to Celtic27]

Counselling is maybe for later. Right now her first priority is to get her kids and herself out of there now.

Don't wait for him to carry out this threats. The news is full of women (and children) 'asking him to get help' but in the meantime he has killed them.

[Donnagb8]

Sorry to hear . Hopefully u can work things out . It’s hard . I would call the police because that’s a threat.

[MindfulMoment]

Most police departments have a protocol for such situations. You need to leave your home, with your children and call the police once you are safe. They will take him into custody under an emergency custody order and probably transport him straight to the hospital until they can find somewhere for him to get help. The ECO only gives a 72 hour hold period until a judge grants it for further. He is a danger to himself and those around him. This is definitely a matter for police. In the mean time your priority is to get you and your children somewhere safe. I know it’s hard to leave when he is in such a way but you really have to.

[IncognitoC]

No question- no delay- call the police! A threat to your life is a very serious one! It does not matter what his reason is. Saying he is going to kill you and himself is not acceptable. As someone said there are far too many women who are killed by their husbands and boyfriends because they didn’t speak up….

[Starrlight]

Do not wait. Leave now and call police.

[Starrlight]

Are you away and safe?

[CLB1125]

please please leave!!!! There must be a shelter for these situations where they don’t tell anyone that you’re there. A safe house. Take this seriously. My sister’s husband kept threatening to do this very thing. We found out and convinced her to leave. When she wouldn’t go back to “talk” he shot himself. He’s a sick man and needs help but don’t stay and hope he gets it. I know it’s scary to leave but you have to protect yourself and your children. Don’t say anything to him about leaving. Wait until he goes to work or something and get out. Find a shelter for families in crisis, damn I can’t think of what they are called, ours is called Caring House. They tell no one you’re there. And will provide you with anything you need. Food clothes toys for kids. My heart is with you.

[Focusedmind]

I agree with CLB1125 above. Leave and go to a shelter when he is not there. Calling the police and having him arrested may make him come back and attack you later. Go someplace safe where he doesn't know where you are. I am sure there are shelters for families in crisis in your area. Look it up on the internet, and leave as soon as possible. He has real issues, and you must protect yourself and your children!

[SparkleGrace]

First, I am sorry for what you are experiencing. It sounds scary. When someone is willing to make that kind of threat and behaviors have escalated to breaking things, there is a problem.

It would be in your best interest and the best interest of the children to have him removed from the home with a protection order.

You should quickly get your affairs in order and make sure you have a separate bank account with enough money to last 6 months. Document all of your joint account assets.

Then go to your local court and file. You may also be able to find a nonprofit domestic violence program near you to help.

I know this sounds harsh but you need to protect your children and yourself.

[SoporRose]

Call this number first. The most dangerous time for a woman us when she tries to leave. These folks should be able to help you make a plan to get out safely.

Believe every threat your husband is making. Get out as soon as you can. Ditch your cell phone. Use cash. Be careful. And please tell us when you are safe.

National Domestic Violence Contact information. Phone [phone]. Text START to 88788

[DodgeDhanda]

Hello Ndizi.

I totally agree with those here that say leave take ur kids & go as well as speak to the police too.

However I don't wish to assume but where you live & the culture & customs may make it hard for you to go to the police & move into a refuge with ur children.

Do U know of what help is available to U where U live .

It's a shame ur husband couldn't act like a real man & has made a threat on ur life & possibly kids too.

Please be extremely careful & research what help U can get in the country U reside.

[Kinlay]

Leave. He needs professional help. Saying those things is not normal or acceptable in any way - and far to often, they are the first step on the path to horrible actions. Report the incident to the police and see if a restraining order is an option. If not, find a friend or relative to stay with short term, unless you can get him to leave instead. You may want to consult a lawyer on your options. If at all possible, do not let him see you or the children until he has had professional counseling. This is NOT okay - and it will only get worse. I speak from personal experience.

[CLB1125]

how are you? Let us know if you’re ok.