well i thought i understood my mind ?

[gerrerd]

Yesterday I had a big shock i was gob smacked. I went out for a coffee with my niece, We were talking about this forum i said my goal was to try and help young people so they would not kill them selves. She said its because you found that old man next door who killed himself when you was a child. ? I said i never i cant remember this. Any way she told me my mother told her this 33 years ago just before she died. Well i could not believe this, I rang round my brothers and sister to see if this was true, They new nothing about it. So i sat down when i came home i live alone, so it was nice and quite, and began to meditate on this. I remember this old man he was in very poor health, He could not speak and had a very bad tremmer his hands used to shake very badly. I used to play darts with him in his shed, I think this kept him going he was a very nice soul in spite of his condition. Things must have been very hard for him, Then it all came back to me i was about 7 i must have gone to his shed to play darts with him and found him, He hung himself. the poor soul he must have been suffering for many years. Anyway this is were the mind comes into it. My thinking is, my mind blocked this memory from me. Because it was very scary being a child. So my mind was protecting me and i new nothing about it. So i talk about controlling the mind. Yet it new better than me. so there,s more to the mind than we think, or can think. Well i live and learn. Ray.

[LavendorTown88]

Damn dude, that shit is crazy! Sometimes life will just throw you a curve ball and smack you upside the head when you least expect it.

Well, now you have an answer. I'm glad you know now...

[gerrerd in reply to LavendorTown88]

Becky this just came into my head, You give me comfort and joy. Ray.

[DragonTears]

Wow, what a story! Our brains are truly amazing...for good and bad. It was protecting you but yet affecting your life and thoughts. Now that you remember, how do you feel about it? Has your way of seeing your life changed? it must have felt like a big discovery to gain access to that memory again! Thanks for sharing this fascinating tale.

[gerrerd in reply to DragonTears]

Thanks for your reply, I am still in a state of shock at the moment. Last night when i went to bed it was a bit scary . I was scared to close my eyes in case the picture of it came back to me. And this is not like me i am as tough as old boots. I could not sleep, this event was going round and round in my mind. I eventual decided i had to do something so i meditated on releasing the memory, back to the universe. I then listened to a brain balancing CD, this did the trick I slept for 4 hrs. still a bit shaken today, I still live in the same house so i went in the garden were it happend. I retraced my step and worked out wot happend. Its very strange at the moment, So i will just take a day or two out and see how i feel. Time is a great healer. Thanks for your concern. What does not break you. Makes you stronger. Ray.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to gerrerd]

Amazing story and so glad you have shared. Hope you're feeling more settled now and having a nice evening or day depending on what time it is in the US. I'm in UK. Gemmalouise X

[gerrerd in reply to Stilltrying_]

I,m in the uk also. Bury Lancashire, thanks for reading it, thats what i,m trying to use what happend to me in life to help people who are having problems now. I did not think much else could happen until yesterday this happend. I have to share these things because it has taut me not to think i know it all. And if i learn something new i have to pass it on, to benefit others. Thats what i thought this forum was for, but one or two have started to attack me. Saying i should not be doing this they just want to talk about there problems, and not help others. Am i wrong? Are they right. I could just walk away. What do you think. Love Ray.

[Hidden in reply to gerrerd]

No ..don't walk away..

[gerrerd in reply to Hidden]

After the the last 24 hours. See my last 3 post, There is no chance of me doing That. Never give up Ellinaki. You never know what tomorrow will bring for you. Have hope in your heart. Were there is a will there,s alway away. Love Ray.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I agree!!!!!!!!!! XXX

[Stilltrying_]

You're doing a great job supporting others and as I've said in reply to another post it's us more mature people who tend to make the most replies, so keep on doing your good work and I understand your motives. I am the same; I feel if I can save one person from suicide then I am doing a good job. I just wish there had been someone there for me or a site where I could talk about things when i was younger.

[gerrerd in reply to Stilltrying_]

You have just hit the nail on the head. My motives must be right, Strange things are hapening to me read my last 2 posts Thank you love Ray.

[ThyroidJ]

I’ve read a few of your posts and it lovely you want to help. I agree you’ve been attacked a little, which is totally unfair for you. I see some of it is there own issue not yours. Keep helping you are sharing your experience and doing a great job. Thank you

[gerrerd in reply to ThyroidJ]

Please read my last 2 posts I dont know whats going on. Love Ray.

[ThyroidJ in reply to gerrerd]

I’ve read them I don’t understand either.

[Hidden]

Oh I'm so saddened to hear this. Yes I understand my childhood was difficult , all memories are blocked from 8 and under. The mind is a very powerful place! Hug for you! XXX

[gerrerd in reply to Hidden]

See my last 2 posts it will blow your socks of.

[gerrerd]

Every thing happens for a reason we just have to hang in there to find out why. Love Ray.

[Hidden]

I agree with you 100% , the day will come when it all adds up & we get it. That which is not revealed we need not explore! Love & hugs~ Lisa