Anxiety and Panic Around My Husband

[BabyCooper]

I am getting so stressed when my husband is around me. The sound of his voice makes me stress. I get anxious at the thought of he is coming home, of having to spend time with him, and feel relieved or even excited when he is going to be out of town or out of the house. I know deeply in my heart, I want to be with him. He is not a bad guy. He loves our family and the kids. He works really hard even though sometimes he is critical and demeaning. There is no critical issues between us, no cheating, no money issues, but i am having a hard time to have a normal conversation/discussion with him or just look straight into his eyes. The hard part is i do not know what is wrong with our relationship. It seems everything is alright but i know something is wrong. I just do not see it. I cry so much every day and i do not want anyone knows me to see my feeling. Everyone knows me thinks i am positive and happy but i am not. Am i crazy here?

[Celtic27]

Hi there your really mixed up have you said to your husband? If not try discussing how you are feeling if he agrees try councilling it may be all you need?! Maybe he's nor aware that your maybe depressed! I wish you well david

[BabyCooper in reply to Celtic27]

He knew what i am going through. He thinks i should just get over it. He thinks we have a beautiful life, nice house, nice kids and stable jobs. He thinks i should appreciate everything i have and not to worried about or stressed out. But i am really unhappy. i feel i am floating on a piece of wood in the ocean and watching him and the landscape getting further and further.

[Celtic27 in reply to BabyCooper]

I'm sorry but your husband sounds like a jerk the fact you may have a good life doesn't stop you getting depression I just wish he realised you are not happy money can get you nice things but it can't buy you true happiness! The guy deserves a boot in the ass! I truelly hope you get better soon

[sweetiepye]

It sounds like your husband is emotionally abusing you. Does he make the major decisions in your lives ? Is he controlling in general ? Sometimes when one partner is dominate the more submissive partner pretends everything is fine. Eventually the pretense ends up in depression. Depression is not something you can snap out of, and having it has nothing to do with your economic circumstances. You wouldn't be having these feelings if there wasn't something wrong. Do you have someone you can talk to who will respect your confidence ? Pam

[Want2BHappy3]

Are you in counseling?

[missrebecca]

If your husband is "critical" and "demeaning" no wonder you aren't happy. You should get couples councelling. Eventually you will start to feel like leaving him if this continues.

[cschwemin]

Sounds like your husband has anger or addiction issues he is not dealing with. Some of it is more than likely related to how he was raised. I highly recommend a support group or individual counseling for you. You and your kids don't deserve to feel this way in a marriage and family! The children can pick up on the stress too. Believe me, I lived it for many years. Counseling, Alanon and sobriety (my husband) saved our marriage and family. And finally going on antidepressants (me).

[Hidden]

My wife and I were experiencing a difficult period in our relationship recently. Luckily, in the last month things have been improving and we are strengthening our relationship. I had the nagging feeling that she was going to cheat on me even though I knew she is not the type of person to do that, she is very morally resolute. It took some time but with therapy, self-reflection, and effort I discovered it was purely my own insecurities creating those thoughts and poor communication that intensified those feelings in me.

You are not crazy for feeling like something is off even though you feel like you have a good life. If it is difficult to speak with your husband about the way you're feeling you should confide in someone you trust or seek professional help in order to identify specific things that are causing you to feel the way you do. Without any reflection on what is causing these feelings it will only get worse. It may take some time but the effort will pay off. I wish you the best.

[KMarti19]

hon, you said it Critical and Demeaning. Tell him exactly how you are feeling and he has to stop it. Tell him you are anxious..... and want to only have good thoughts of 'love' for him.

[Junella]

I have had such feelings in the past, but I love my husband dearly--55 years. Yet all this time I realized he was controlling in some ways. After he had an illness he was so grateful for my help, he waits on me and almost overdoes his care for me. the first 20 years were the worse with frequent verbal abuse (but happy times too). Today after recovery from his illness of neurological Lyme disease for a decade, he talks too much, and this is annoying. He talks to everyone--strangers even. He is very smart, was disabled from his profession at age 56. Since recovery, he has gone back to his enjoyment of art started in his teens. He is talented, but I find the excessive talking--sometimes cheerful, but much complaining and regret about past business decisions he should have made. I have suffered anxiety all my life and can't blame him for that but think he doesn't always help it. Time has a way of making things better, and the 55 years is our greatest life success with all its flaws.

[marheart]

Who are you? Do you know who you are to be able to express the real you to others?

I've changed so much since anxiety and now panic have entered my life.

Do you want a husband and friends who seem to be accepting a version of you that does not exist?

I want support from those who care about the real me. Tuff Stuff!

Hello health professionals: we the people who are suffering want more than a cookie cutter approach.

What happened to being able to talk with a Psychologist and/or a Psychiatrist? Health Insurance companies write the rules showing how we can and can not get help.

Now the professionals are called Therapists who are not trained or are not willing to operate in the old ways instead of our cookie cutter approach to Mindfulness.

I'm grateful we have something to help. Any and all improvements gratefully accepted. Looking forward to more emphasis on individual differences and higher qualified Counselors.

[Junella]

One more comment. I would be surprised if someone like this would go to counseling with you--they want to be in control. They will find fault with the counselor. You will have to do it on your own. So-called psychotherapy was never helpful for me other than having someone to talk to about things. A good friend can do that. I have been over and over my symptoms, past and problems, ad nauseam and see no value in this. The newer methods of relaxation, cognitive behavior therapy are the most helpful (for me).