Trying to fight

[Lookingforhope20100]

So lately my life has been difficult. I don't know how to cope or deal with it, I have no friends, a family that hates me, and a boyfriend that wants an open relationship like I'm going to cheat on him. I started smoking again bcuz the stress of it all is causing a lot of physical problems along with my mental health. I'm on a bunch of new medications hoping it will solve my problems. They make me tired but that's fine I can handle tired. I'm just tired of trying. It's starting to feel like I only wake up in the morning is for my daughter. I feel like a horrible mother all the time, and now I can barely see. So yes I'm a mess and dysfunctional but I'm trying to make it work.

[arsh_arora]

You are doing a great job by figuring out every single way to keep going. Just believe in yourself and love yourself for being such an amazing person. Everything else is temporary in our life just you with yourself is the only truth. Keep going and do what makes you feel happy.

[IncognitoC]

Focus on what is important. You and your daughter. If your boyfriend wants an open relationship and you don’t he should respect you for your decision.

[Hidden]

Has your bf said why he want an open relationship and if you say no will he go behind your back and have one...

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to Hidden]

No he would never but he said it could fix our relationship cuz he isn't meeting my needs

[Hidden in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

He wants an open relationship because he isn't meeting your needs? How's that going to help you?

[hypercat54]

Hate is a very strong word so do you mean it literally? And who hates you? Your birth family or your own or both?

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to hypercat54]

My birth family they actually said that there life is better without me

[hypercat54 in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

That doesn't mean they necessarily 'hate' you though. I would either go low contact with them or cut them off temporarily or maybe permanently if it is affecting your mental health.

[Mrspjsmom]

Sometimes just getting up when you are depressed and anxious takes more strength and courage than most people realize. You are working hard to make things better.

[Ryanlion]

Hi, its do hard for you right now isnt it! Remember you have an illness and need to take care of yourself. The medications will help you but they will not solve the problems with your boyfriend or family. They seem pretty selfish to me when they are not looking out for you. Many people dont understand anxiety & depression unless theyve suffered with it. If smoking helps you at this time its ok. I would suggest you find a good therapist who could help you unravel your problems because they are contributing to your mental health. If you cant afford it are there any charitable organisations who could help. I am in UK and i get therapy from a charity run organisation. You are not a horrible mother but a ill mother, give yourself some slack. Things will improve if you share with someone outside your loved ones.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hello, first thing is stop smoking. There's no reason to smoke, ever. It will make you a stinky mommy too, plus it is another form of hurting yourself. Now is a really good time for some self care, good music=kind music, bath, favorite clothes, a dash of perfume, go for a walk or try yoga, exercise relieves stress, or meditate. It's funny how a dab of perfume on your wrist can lift your mood, smell it through out the day. You have to be proactive for you and your daughter. Do something with your daughter that you can both enjoy, crafts are good. It is really important to care for yourself right now. New meds are hard. If you do something productive it makes a nap feel better. I hope you have a better day today.

[Vasiliki99]

We don't need to feel bad just forgive yourself this life ahead but most life is struggles

[Vasiliki99]

Meds or medication don't know if will help