This platform is garbage

Hello to anyone who may see this, I have been stuck in a perpetual loop of depression and anxiety both for the past 2 years starting after a lethal injury involving a busted femur amongst other broken bones from the same accident. My life fell apart and my partner pulled away from me due to my neediness after. I often don't feel like there is a point to life anymore. This is 2023 and technology is wide spread with bullshit like AI and everything else, but nothing for people like us? No app that is more organized? This is a joke. My therapist recommended this to me btw

[Dolphin14]

Hi

I'm sorry you see this community as garbage. Looks like you just joined? What are your issues with the site?

Some things aren't for everyone. The suggestion to join was most likely for you to trial it and see if it gives you the support you need.

It has been a very helpful site for myself and many others.

My suggestion would be a little more time but if it's not where you want to be you can look for a better fit

Wishing you the best

🐬

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

There needs to be a way for people to feel more connected, rather than making a post to be sent into the void. If someone comments on your post and you feel they understand, you should be able to "friend them" and so on.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response.

HU doesn't recommend friending people until you get to know them on the forum. This is for safety reasons.

Members can press the like button and respond to anyone's reply back. This indicates that there was an appreciation for their response.

I'm not sure what " friend them" means.

Unfortunately some posts go unanswered. I'm sorry you experienced this. It's all about timing and posts getting pushed down further in the thread

There is a way to sort posts by unanswered. I try to reach out to those people if I am here

Activity in the community is not only about the posts but also the replies to things you can relate to. It's a give and take of support.

I hope you stay around and see how things work

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

How do you sort posts by "unanswered"? I didn't realize you could.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Hi

Scroll up to the top. On the left is a list. I think it says..... home, members, posts

Click on posts then you get options. Most popular, newest etc one is unanswered. If you click that will be pulling up that list of posts.

❤️🐬

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks!

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

I didn't know either Dolphin14 , Nothing_but_books . Thanks!

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

This is a peer to peer online support site only. If this type of support isn't for you then fair enough. It is what it is.

There are online sites when you can choose a counsellor but it is charged instead of free like this one.

There is also '7 cups of tea' where you can talk to a volunteer counsellor and this is free too.

I hope you find the support you are looking for.

[darksun in reply to Hidden]

I understand your frustration. I too dont like alotttt of tech and zoom crap im 62 just tired of learning more tech frankly.... but its the way of the world like it or not. If you find a better solution let me know!😏

[fauxartist]

I think your depression is talking.... maybe look around for another site the suites you, but honestly, this one was the best I could find. If you stuck around and just started reading about how others were where you are now, you might start finding others here who understand. I get that your angry, you should be, but it's another thing to address. It's hard not to be negative when you are going through loss of health, relationships, and hope.. this can change, but nobody can make you happy or unhappy, you have to make the effort to do the footwork to feel better....yeah the world is in shit, but that is what it is....all you have is your own sphere really...and thats all you can have any choice to choose how to cope with stuff...we cannot control people, places, or things....but we can choose how we deal with them.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

You have been here for over 5 years. (Not a question but a statement) I'm completely new here and this feels like a little effortless box a psychiatrist throws you into as an easy way to opt out.

[STEM_Dad in reply to Hidden]

This is a peer support community site designed for anonymity. Some people find support groups on other platforms, like perhaps Discord and likely Facebook. (Facebook is not anonymous, so I'm much more hesitant to post mental health struggles there.)

Rather then "friending", this platform does enable "following" and also direct chat.

[Hisue in reply to Hidden]

It’s a free, optional service; helpful to many.

[Hidden]

I'm going to say something stupid like 'This platform is what it is.' I'm not a therapist. I'm not an emotional intelligence genius. I'm just a person trying to make it another day doing the best I can and still feeling pretty lost. Sometimes helping someone else makes me feel a bit better about myself. The fact that someone took the time to respond to me adds one in the plus column. That's all this is. I wish I could make everyone's problems disappear, but I haven't that power. And yet, here I am and so are you. Hopefully, that is enough.

[darksun in reply to Hidden]

Well said!

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I loved your response...

[Mermaid55 in reply to fauxartist]

me too!

[hypercat54]

I see the poster is gone. I hope he finds something more to his liking.

[fauxartist in reply to hypercat54]

I think some people just want to come in and dump their anger and have no intentions of really getting any help....it's arrogant on their part, but sad that they weren't able to see the full potential of getting help from their peers, who better to understand. But because they are blinded by shutting down....it's going to be a long cold road trying to be the lone stranger out in this world today. Hopefully they will give it another try.

[darksun]

take what you like and leave the rest

[AnxiousSilver]

"like AI and everything else, but nothing for people like us? No app that is more organized? This is a joke."

Here.. Random comments incoming:

You mentioned no app. OK.. In some ways I understand, but it's not like you just can't navigate to this website from your phone's web-browser.

.

You mentioned the rush to AI, and funny thing is that I think most people here would actually agree with you that it's probably better to talk to a human, than AI. (at least in my opinion)

.

But.. This site is free.

This community is a good and supportive community.

For some people, it's the best therapy that they can afford. (even though it's peer based)

But, it's humans that are trying their best to help other humans.

.

Finally, you may see my comment, you may not.

But, I still wish you nothing but the best.

Take care.

[fauxartist in reply to AnxiousSilver]

AI may be answering all their generic questions when they call for service on why some appliance isn't working...but you cannot replace the soulful stories and responses and interaction here yet. AI may be able to duplicate a Leonardo on a 3-D printer....but it cannot replicate the brush strokes, lighting, and soul of the character like the artist did.

So to say this is just another app or AI....I don't think it is, not yet....there are still humans connecting with humans. There is no political , monetary, or religious recruitment needed here by the use of Chatbots, so influencing Chatbots probably are not here yet, just the data being collected.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to fauxartist]

"AI may be answering all their generic questions when they call for service on why some appliance isn't working"

We kinda already have that though. It's called FAQS (Frequently Asked Questions)

OR Google - Chat Support if it's not covered in the FAQS.

.

"but you cannot replace the soulful stories and responses and interaction here yet. AI may be able to duplicate a Leonardo on a 3-D printer....but it cannot replicate the brush strokes, lighting, and soul of the character like the artist did."

I agree.

[KrierandRosie]

The problem with this site is you can't see the people on here. It seems I am typing this to myself. Humans need to talk to each other for more genuine support.

[fauxartist in reply to KrierandRosie]

Anonymity is necessary because of the dept of the subject matter people are sharing. And many feel empowered to be more open and honest if they don't think their neighbor who might be on the site knows all there is to know about you. It's not encouraged to post pics. Addresses, give out phone numbers, or real names for all of those reasons. Many potential employers actually use a facebook check before hiring people to see what they are really like, ....like dancing on the bar mooning the crowd might not be a potential candidate for social relations in a company.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to KrierandRosie]

I understand wanting to connect person to person. But like faixartist said it's for anonymity reasons and I would add safety reasons as well. I'm totally on board with that. I was once on another site that was more of a forum called S.A.S. Well I met people and totally let my guard down. I didn't take into account that some folks have really serious mental health issues. I was cyber stalked for about a year by a disturbed young man. I was worried about joining a support group like this. But after a while and looking I found this group to best fit me. And I like it here.

[fauxartist in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Sorry about your stalker CL3V3R-G1RL, it must have been kinda scary to say the least. I've had two stalkers over the many years of being on different sites. It's really kinda creepy, and like you said...anonymity is the only way to go, because it is a mental health site and some are sicker than others. I was told the friendships I made here weren't real because I didn't interact with them in the real world. Well.... I have found a better character of people here to talk to about my mental health, more compassion, empathy, and kindness than from most people in the 'so called real world'. I have my real world life, and this place is just a way for me to connect to other like-minded people from all over the world and share similar stories and safely talk about stuff we really can't talk about much in 'the real world',...because most won't understand or want to hear about it.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to fauxartist]

All my friends that I have made come from online. I have met 2 of them in person. They were from a fan forum 😅 Been friends with them going on 20yrs!

So yes, you can totally make friends online. And nevermind that you haven't met them in person.

I found like you it was easier to make friends online because you get to be more connected. I guess it's because yeah you have to put more thoughts into what you say. Because since you aren't speaking to them face to face. Or on the phone. You choose your words carefully and because of that you are a little bit more honest, I think. People understand what you're going through and share their troubles. Show a lot more kindness and empathy than people you meet out in the real world. Real world, people put on too many masks. They act caring cause they think that's what they should show but they really don't.

[fauxartist in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I grew up in So. Cal....they invented shallow and superficial ....

I agree, no masks, or bling to hide behind...just you and your emotions. Although a good many people here still don't project who they really are for what ever reasons, and choose a very one-sided persona, that's fine too. I just feel it's an opportunity to be open and honest, and writing is cathartic and healing, so if I'm trying to be someone I'm not....what's the point, I'm only lying to myself.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to fauxartist]

I understand. I grew up in South Texas. When I was a kid everyone made fun of me because I didn't listen to popular music. Everyone was into the new thing. I like some of the new music coming out. But I think I was a little bit more open than some. Kids were so worried about being uncool.

Writing is cathartic. I do feel at ease when I'm able to write out what I really want to say. Especially in my journals. Here, well I have to keep somethings private. But Im honest about my trials and tribulations with anxiety and depression. It does nothing for me to pretend to be someone else. I'm a sensitive person. Or some may say a "weenie" 😂

Maybe it's a good thing though. Makes me more empathetic to people.

If some folks want to pretend or just flat out lies that's their deal, man *said in The Dude's voice* 😂 (hopefully you seen that movie)

[fauxartist in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I've always been very eclectic, even as a kid, and was always cut from a different cloth, danced to the beat of my own drum so to speak, but also an artist, and also a science lab nerd, was good at sports, and always felt held back academically, so I could 'develop' with the rest of the kids. In some ways I was shy and a loner, and if I took an interest in something I was also able to join in and articulate. But being told to dumb myself down so people will like me, and don't beat the boys at playing marbles.

I never understood bulling, or picking on someone because of the way they looked, or ignoring those deemed 'unpopular'....I always talked to everyone, I didn't care what other's thought....mostly. Sometimes I did get my feelings hurt....morons. I eventually was tested and skipped a few grades thankfully, I got along better with older people. My friends were always much older than I was. I was an odd duck in the pond I guess, but didn't care really. The only thing that held me back was the depression and abuse. Or I think I would have probably been teaching ceramic art. But it is what it is. We all have dreams...and still can...

By the way....I listen to any music that's good, but liked jazz mostly in high school...yeah,... I was odd to other kids.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to fauxartist]

Same. I got along with my teachers than my peers. My mom's and sister's fault for playing me those VTech learning games when I was little 😂My first real friend was 7yrs older than me. She was a lonely teenager who lived nextdoor to us. She lived with her father and older sister but her sister suffered from beetle alcohol poisoning syndrome. So she required constant care. So she really was like an only child. We got along but unfortunately I moved away. I always had trouble making friends with people my own age. Sure I had friends. But I wouldn't get invited to people's birthday parties or sleepovers. I hear about it later. The same my anxiety and depression held me back in a lot of ways. In my youth. Now I'm playing catch up.

[fauxartist in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I'm definitely playing catch up....I didn't have toys growing up, and now I can afford to buy my paints and canvas, and my books, and stuff....a second childhood is great, enjoy yours too....we deserve it.

[KrierandRosie]

But we also need genuine friendships to console each other. I am talking to myself here.

[fauxartist in reply to KrierandRosie]

I would say that finding group meetings might be beneficial for you, I used to go to a couple of different ones many years ago, and it was really informative, but a few were not. So it's always a crap shoot, but you just need to keep looking till you find what fits your needs best. I'd say at least here, you can also write about stuff. Writing is very cathartic and always helps me sort stuff out.