Is this even possible

[Sayvy]

I feel like I’m blocking out a part of my life...I have had a repeated dream about me being touched in the backseat of a car when I was little as well as when I was laying down but I don’t completely remember like it seems so real and when I think about it I feel like I can feel it happening... is it possible that it may have effected me so much that I don’t remember or maybe I was to young to remember .....idk why but this is actually having a big affect on me

[thatjuanguy]

It’s completely possible there are parts of my life I have definitely blocked. But sometimes when I dream I feel like it’s more like a memory

[Hidden]

Hi.

Have you ever had therapy maybe it would be a good idea to talk these thoughts/dreams through with a professional. To explore what comes out.

If you are in the uk you can ask to be referred by your dr for cbt on the nhs. You can also self refer online , if you type in nhs talking therapies...(and your area)you should be able to complete the form, there is a wait list but worth getting on that list.

You mention this is having a big affect on you, I would reach out and get the professional support you deserve to help you.

Best wishes x

[jayT67]

It’s possible but as long as you keep moving forward and know that your going to be okay that you have a big future a head of you you’ll make it

I found someone to talk to through therapy and it helps it may help you too

Just know your not alone and everyone here is here for you to help you through this process

Keep your head up and stay strong.

But don’t forget it’s okay to feel everything your feeling.

I’m here if you need to talk

[Hidden]

Yes, I was sexually abused at 3 and blocked it out. I have a few memories though, just bits and fragments. You kind of have to be your own detective here. Dreams like this are normal for sexual abuse survivors. Also, look up sexual abuse symptoms. Do you have problems with intimacy? I know I do. Here is my story:

When I was about 18 my aunt came forward and told our family that her mother's (my grandmother's) boyfriend (who was a trucker) had sexually abused her when she was little. She is only two years older than me. My grandmother (who is a pieces of " ", left us in his care when we were little. I was 3 and she was 5. My mother (who is a also a piece of " ", was constantly leaving me with my grandmother and her weird trucker boyfriends so she could go party. I was married at the time my aunt came forward and had never had an orgasm and did not like sex. As soon as she came forward, both of my parents called to ask he if he had raped me or touched me as well because they knew that I had been in his care. At the time I said no, bc I did not remember. But I had the symptoms and then over my teenage years I had had many dreams of being sexually assaulted. I also had fragments memories surface after that, him sitting me in the big wheel and playing between my legs (I had a dress on), my aunt and I in his truck a lot and finding his porn, him giving us a cup and telling us to strip and pee in it (when we could have done so outside or in my grandmother's trailer as we were out in the country) The actual abuse I blocked out. Another thing is, (I was a virgin when I got married at age 18) I never bled my first time having sex. Nor did I ever break growing up and I did not play any sports and I also was not allowed to wear tampons. I have never ever bled once (broke) in my whole life. My parents made sure that I had to save that for marriage as they were fanatically religious and believed in it being a "blood covenant." My first husband accused me of not being a virgin because of it.

So putting all this together and my problems with sexuality, I know something happened to me. Like I said, be your own detective. Find out if you were in the care of a man alone when you were younger, etc. You may also want to try hypnosis. It sounds as if you may have definitely been abused in some way. If you are not normal about sexuality, that is a good indication. I still am not recovered and I'm 32 now. Just look for clues, study up on the effects of sexual abuse and see if they pertain to you. I also recommend getting a book for survivors and reading it just to see if it helps you.

This is something you carry your whole life but you can get better, with help. Be your own advocate. Maybe explore with a therapist. I wish the best to you! ; )

[Hidden]

Yes, the mind is very powerful, when I was young the same thing happened to me ..it's blocked for the most part. Remember this is not on you! One day they will answer for those terrible actions. Also YOU did not ask for it! May Peace be with you!!! XXX

[Deanamo]

Get into therapy. It really does help but u have to work at it too! Good luck