This pain is unbearable.

[XxSadAnDConFuSeDxX]

I can't do anything right. Everything is so fucked up. And it always comes back to me. Life is not what I expected it to be. It's like I've been living in this weird reality and the curtain just dropped. I'm over hurting, everyone including myself. Life has fucking sucked this far. What do you do when you're at your point? I'm trying so so hard not to hurt myself but it gets harder and harder.

[deborah27]

Well, sounds like you are at a turning point. Apart from the sweeping statement that you 'can't do anything right', ( which is inaccurate, because you put your post together and onto this forum ) it seems to me that you recognise that some changes need to be made. Right?

How can you take some control of your life, what fundamentally needs to change? Your life is up to you, no one can make it good for you. We all make mistakes, errors of judgement etc... But ultimately we have to own that and find a way through. You don't have to do it alone, people are often willing to be supportive and a soft place to fall. You did right to reach out.

[jesca18]

I was where you are now very recently. My world came crashing down and I thought it was the end for me. I had had enough. I have felt like I couldn’t take it anymore many times in the past but this time I literally could not. I had no control over it; couldn’t pretend; couldn’t hide anymore. I broke down.

As Deborah27 said we are at a turning point. Giving up is not an option for me. I am at the point now where I have acknowledged things need to change. I am still not completely sure how to make that change come about but I am working on it as if my life depends on it. Keep pushing forward. Do small things daily. It’s those little things that add up and make a difference. I decided to get help. We don’t have to do this alone. If you need someone to talk to that can relate please feel free to DM me. Take care.

[IChoose]

Please just slow down and take a few deep breaths :

"I can't do anything right." Good, run for political office!

"Everything is so fucked up. And it always comes back to me. " Yes, sad but true, we all live with that reality. Sometimes bad things happen to us like out of nowhere, and that's one kind of suffering. Then there are the consequences of our self sabotage, and those really hurt. But it's all ok, and we do get through it, learn and grow from it. Therapy is a big help in this regard because we learn enough about ourselves to really love and forgive ourselves.

"Life is not what I expected it to be." Same for me. I think it's what I would call adulthood. It's a good thing.

" It's like I've been living in this weird reality and the curtain just dropped. " Alright, I guess end of act 1, scene 1 and time for act 1, scene 2. No more weird reality, get some professional help from a psychiatrist and or psychologist, and maybe medication could help. I've been through it myself. You can feel better and start fresh.

"I'm over hurting, everyone including myself. ". Why??? It's good to feel. Of course your feelings are super intense and overwhelming you, but it's great to be alive. To be human, to feel. You likely need a qualified therapist to sit with you and help you process what's locked up inside, but I actually think you're doing great. You're not numb. And ... Let go of the toxic guilt about other people.

"Life has fucking sucked this far. " It sucks all over the world. It really sucks in Haiti. I promise you, you've had a good life by global standards.

"What do you do when you're at your point. I'm trying so so hard not to hurt myself but it gets harder and harder." You call the national suicide hotline, talk to them, then discern if you need to go to the nearest hospital. Question ... Are you safe right now? Really, these feelings come and go, and are sympotomatic of a mental health situation (you notice, I didn't say illness) that you can recover from. You may have very real and important reasons for feeling the way you do, and you just need some insight, someone to talk to. If you are feeling desperate, call 911.

It's ok, you will be fine, but I would recommend you change your self talk to something positive and affirming. Like looking in the mirror and and saying, "your name, I love you." Give yourself a big hug, you deserve it!

Take care, and let us know your progress. I believe in you!

[hypercat54]

Sorry folks and not having a go but foul language isn't allowed on here and can be a trigger for some people. Can you please edit it out or abbreviate it with ****. Thank you. x

[Kkimm]

Hi

I really feel for you and want you to realise that you have something to offer life and that we are all hoping you get over these horrendous feelings.

Time will eventually heal.

My thoughts are with you and others feeling the same, you are not the only one. I hope that gives you some comfort.

Kim

[Zabadi]

Please don't give up. I have been where you are many times, but am doing well now. One thing that helped me was Celebrate Recovery. You can find one near you.

[VaNillaRunner]

When I get into these modes, I try to focus on other things aside from myself. I feel it helps put everything in perspective when I look at the big picture. Hold on to life as it is beautiful.