Normal?

[SourMelon]

It’s not common for me to seek advice but I think I need to.

Therapy is something I’ve always seen as an unbiased third party where I can voice all of my frustrations without having to feel guilty. I think deep down I’ve had an ulterior motive of wanting her to tell me that something is wrong with me so that I can somehow feel validated. Somewhere along the way I do wonder if I am exaggerating or making issues out of things that don’t concern me to make her pity me more. I’ve had this conversation of feeling like I’m making it all up and she seems to not worry about that as much as I do.

I’ve had one psychiatry appointment and I felt really unprepared and almost cornered. I feel like I said whatever I felt like I needed to while kind of hiding internally just until I could get out of there.

So I’m wondering - is it normal to go through these phases where everything is wrong and your anxiety is through the roof and you feel like things will always be like this. Only to then one day wake up and feel almost euphoric and dismissing everything you felt previously as dramatic and unreasonable? I don’t really know how to communicate these feelings to my doctor/therapist because when I’m in a good enough space to see them I usually am in that state of euphoria or somewhere close to it. Recording myself in one of the lesser moods doesn’t really seem necessary, though.

Any advice?

[Saraivhdheed]

I'm not sure how I'm going to answer your question.For me, I always feel like things are just going to get worse and that's wrong.

But I think you should tell your doctor how you feel, even if you don't feel while talking to him.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I wish you luck...

[SourMelon in reply to Saraivhdheed]

Thank you so much!!

I guess when I’m in whatever mood I really tend to focus in on it and I’m convinced things will always be that way.

[Saraivhdheed in reply to SourMelon]

It's good to focus on the positive, but not in a way that makes you forget reality. The negatives in life are what make us aspire to the best. If you live in a perfect world as you imagine it at some point, it will make you stop striving for the best. Therefore.. Focus on the positives and enjoy them. And then make it a point for you to get rid of the negatives. Good luck

[LoveforAll41]

I think that when you are in an anxiety and depression loop things can definitely seem hopelss. Maybe you could share what you have written here with your drs?

I sometimes am having a bad night but after sleeping go exercise or work on something that I feel adds to my self-worth and suddenly I have positive momentum going and feel great. Sometimes I do just feel great waking up, and I kind of hate it because it makes it harder to troubleshoot the bad times sometimes.

Perhaps you have bipolar depression? I thought I might have that but I guess on your manic up periods you are supposed to stay up for days on end or something more extreme than I did.

I think that all emotions are valid and there is quite possibly something tied to your thoughts about what is going on in your life that changes. I feel most people with anxiety and depression have thinking errors, but maybe you are one where it is actually almost entirely biological? Maybe it would be worth trying antidepressants and see if you level out. I would try to make a record or record yourself when things are not as good if you can bring yourself to do it so that you have more to talk to the drs about.

I don't know if any of this gives you anything to think about, but I wish you peace, hope, and strength.

[SourMelon in reply to LoveforAll41]

thank you so much for commenting! I relate this so much. My psychiatrist mentioned maybe bipolar but I personally feel like the mood swings are a lot faster. I’m hoping I figure it out because it really does get in the way, I just keep running into the barrier of invalidating everything I’ve felt once my mood changes.

[Tbine]

Hello,. Did you have a chance to tell your therapist what you describe here?? It sounds like you might have Bipolar disorder? Where your moods can drastically switch up on you .

[SourMelon in reply to Tbine]

I actually don’t. When I feel better it all just seems really silly. My psychiatrist said he thinks maybe bipolar but I only met with him once and will hopefully be seeing him again soon. Thanks so much for commenting

[LoveforAll41 in reply to SourMelon]

I think it would be good if you can document how down you feel in the down times. I often make the mistake of not going to therapy if I am feeling good. I would commit to going to ten or so appointments or something to really dig into this

[designguy]

What you felt with your first appointment is very common because you felt very vulnerable and it can take some time to develop trust with a therapist and be able to really open up so give yourself time to do that.