The last four months of 2018 have been the worst for me. It was my first experience dealing with depression/anxiety and I lost myself and it’s so scary. I lost weight from losing my appetite, everyday I came home from school I had an urge to just run or punch something, and I would have this awful indescribable emotional pain in my chest. It was just a weird psychological break down I have never experienced before.
I’m getting better now slowly but I can’t help but feel like I’ve permanently changed. The feeling of utter joy when I do the things I love has left me. It’s so scary. I’m more self aware now too. Now I dread going to school because I feel like I belong no where.
There isn’t one person I can say is a close friend of mine. I’ve never felt so alone I feel like I’ll never meet the right people. This causes me to ask myself if there is something wrong with me. Am I that bad at making friends? Or do I just simply not connect with the people around me? And is that ok? I even get jealous of people who seem to have nice established friendships with others. People who go out, have friend groups, all those simple things I just feel I don’t have. Makes me feel alone. I feel like a loser. I’ve always thought these things but I think this time something snapped in me and now I have been feeling awful about it for a long period of time. It’s really weird.
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Mimip
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Why do we feel so alone? I write that so often in here and I read it even more! Why do we feel that no one understands us? Why don’t we see the right support?
Yea it’s tough to think about. I like to think that all of it is in our heads but nonetheless it’s hard to deal with and it helps hearing others’ experiences.
I have the same issues compounded by family issues. I am also new here but I know I need to connect with others like myself or nothing will get better or change. You took the first step, be proud of yourself for that.
Hi, you are NOT alone. So many of us have had these same feelings at some point in our lives. Some days, things seem to be falling into place. Then just like that, it can feel hard, lonely, overwhelming. Life can be hard. We often feel insecure because we measure ourselves against a standard that is just about impossible. You are not alone. Friends will come and you will find your space. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. Try to do something special for yourself every day, something small, but something special. Buy yourself a flower, get your favorite coffee, watch a movie that makes you smile, take a long walk, dance in your living room. Look in the mirror and tell that person that you are special! If you don't feel better soon, think about talking to a counselor who may be able to help you work your feelings through. If you belong to a church, reach out and ask for support. There may also be a counselor at school that you can talk to. Take it one day at a time, I am cheering for you! Feel better!
I feel like I could’ve written this.
I relate to what you’re saying so much.
Just know that you’re not alone at all.
It’s hard to feel like nobody in your physical presence understands. Especially when all you want is a hug or support.
I have been diagnosed with dissociate personalities disorder by a government phycitrist I am mentally disabled. I am so glad that we have each other to get thru this
I agree with a lot of the other replies. I have PTSD, depression and anxiety.....and so much more. I have always felt awkward and weird. Like the black sheep. I think being different is great. But I am 46 and came to that conclusion 5 years ago. It’s good to have somewhere to share what you are feeling. Knowing you are not alone. Have you spoken to your parents about your feelings. I couldn’t as a child and still can’t as a women. So I would understand if you said no. But you do need help and maybe even medical intervention. My heart goes out to you. Life is so hard without those feelings. Add those feelings makes it almost unbearable. Somehow I made it to 46 and have found some treatments, or at least one now, that have begun to help me heal and feel self love. I have a long way to go but there is help out there. There is support. And yes, the very fact that you posted what you did is very brave. It takes a lot to deal with these types of feelings.
Also one thing I have learned the hard way is to be careful on The Who you share your feelings with. Find safe places and people. If someone doesn’t have experience or isn’t a professional then hesitate until you know for sure that it’s safe. Even professionals can be cold and condescending sometimes. Mental health is not something most people understand. Although there is a huge population of people who deal with these issues. It’s just hard, and sad. I’m glad you at least reached out here
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Quit telling me how strong and brave I am
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