Struggle.

[mizzou7016]

My coworkers nominated me for employee of the month for duty going above and beyond the norm. I am trying very hard to take all the compliments and kudos in stride, however I am struggling with it because in my eyes I did what i hope anyone else in my situation would have done.... I saw a coworker getting hurt.....I did everything in my power to protect that coworker from further harm. I know not everyone would've done it....but i am struggling with the whole you're a hero thing......help

[Nothingnoted]

I know that it's really hard to accept a compliment I just wanted to tell you thank you for protecting your coworker not too many people would do that you should be proud of yourself and you're doing a great job being you I feel the same way when people try to give me compliments I can't accept them and it's hard to believe it but I know that there is a reason they're saying it because what you did protected another human being from being harmed you should be so proud of yourself

[mizzou7016 in reply to Nothingnoted]

Unfortunately I didn't completely protect him from being harmed.....I did however protect him from getting harmed worse. It's not in my nature to just stand by and let something happen...the main goal I have every night is that I go home every night no worse for wear and the people I work with go home.

[Nothingnoted in reply to mizzou7016]

The thing is you did protect him from worse harm and you know what you did is very hero worship and you should be very proud of yourself I know I'm proud of you. And was that also said this is that you have a heart full of kindness and and love for other human beings so that makes you an all-around great person thank you

[mizzou7016 in reply to Nothingnoted]

thanks....but I didn't do it to be called a hero...i did it because it was the right thing to do and I hope the hell that people would do the same thing if the roles were reversed...I am proud of what I did.....don't get me wrong on that....but i can't stop playing the what if games in my brain.

[Nothingnoted in reply to mizzou7016]

You're welcome. You did was wonderful. I know I would do the same I can't stand someone seeing someone harmed or picked on but what you did was really good what you should be really proud of

[Mumbutterfly]

Heroes are people who are faced with difficult circumstances and choose to react in a way that helps someone. They’re not super human. They have faults and fears just like all humans. Not all humans choose to help others and that’s why we honor those who do. Being a hero doesn’t mean they are better than others, just that they were in the right place at the right time and made the right decision to help someone who needed them. Accepting honors and awards is hard for the person who knows they’re not perfect. Your award is for the action you took and because your coworkers know it wasn’t a fluke, that you would do it again if it is ever needed again and that they might be the one who needs that extra help next time. They are expressing their gratitude for your willingness to help in times of need and seeing you get that award may help someone else to make the right decision in similar circumstances. Letting others show gratitude is important. ‘It’s better to give than to receive’ could also mean it’s harder to receive than to give.

[mizzou7016 in reply to Mumbutterfly]

A personal friend who is also a public safety professional (she is a volunteer Firefighter and EMT) said it best....we are ordinary people who are sometimes put in situations that require extraordinary responses. for me....it's not so much of not being perfect....it's a matter of doing what is right...I've been in the corrections field for 26 years....my integrity is the only thing i have left....that's what i struggle with

[mizzou7016 in reply to Mumbutterfly]

and i also fight my fears every day. Is today the day I get hurt....is today the day someone gets killed...be it offender/inmate or coworker....is today the day that i get exposed to some garage made drug and end up getting narcan used on myself.....is today the 1st time that I get to administer my 1st dose of narcan because the offender has overdosed on who knows what.....they said that the best thing was that i didn't hesitate to respond...but I do hesitate.....every day going in.....but i can't let that stop me from doing what is right....

[Mumbutterfly in reply to mizzou7016]

I just made a long reply to Swilly’s post and was thinking about what you’re going through as well. I’m not good with technology or I would copy and paste it here. It’s about a book series and I think you could really relate to the protagonist who doesn’t see himself as a hero when everyone around him does. He struggles with depression and all of the other main characters struggle with mental health issues as they deal with life and death situations.

[Hidden in reply to Mumbutterfly]

Here ya go:

"Do you like to read or listen to audiobooks? There’s an author whose wife struggles with depression and he’s written a fantasy series where all of the main characters struggle with different types of mental illness. The main protagonist has suffered depression since childhood and comes close to giving up at one point but someone helps him through it before he does. He continues to struggle with depression on and off throughout the series, even when everyone else sees him as a hero. I’m not sure, but I think he may be bipolar.

The story itself is fascinating but I love it because it shows real people dealing with real mental health issues and overcoming them time after time.

Brandon Sanderson is the author and he once said that he heard a psychology teacher say that everyone has issues and that it’s only considered an illness when it interferes with life.

The series is called The Stormlight Archives. I’ve listened to it multiple times and it always helps me in my struggles. It’s available on Spotify and other places that have audiobooks. The first one is called The Way of Kings.

I love reading but I also love listening because it keeps my mind occupied and distracted while doing other things from chores to solitaire."

[MaggieSylvie in reply to mizzou7016]

Congratulations, and you did what was right at the right moment. Without hesitation, you might actually do what's best. Yes, it was your job to intervene in whatever way you did it, and your colleagues are calling you a hero because they are impressed that you apparently did it without a moment's thought. But hesitation can often be the difference between doing what's needed and getting the best result possible. Many of your colleagues probably struggle with thoughts of how they might have reacted in a similar situation, so now you are a role model - that's amazing - and they have rewarded you. Give yourself permission to bask in the glory for a while, and hope things don't blow up too often. Well done.😀👍

[Hidden]

I get this. I never feel like accepting compliments or kindness. Don't be so hard on yourself, you deserve all of it I'm sure!

I do understand though, everyone should be decent and helpful, like you were. Unfortunately, we are surrounded by all kinds of different people --including bad ones.

I suggest that you try to pat yourself on the back, even just a tiny bit. Good job. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Nothingnoted in reply to Hidden]

Me too I have a hard time accepting compliments it always goes right through my head like I can't believe it

[Hidden]

Yup, same. I am trying to work on it but it's hard. I have zero self esteem.

[LifeIsThePitts]

You are a blessing to your coworker that was being attacked. I guarantee they are grateful you were there with decades of experience and knowledge in order to restore ORDER in a chaotic and dangerous situation that would/could have escalated quickly into a full riot! You are DEFINITELY worthy of this acclaim and recognition!

You acted in a valiant manner...loads of others would have frozen in place or run the other way. You're lucky that you didn't get hurt, too.

I know your career is coming to it's end and you probably have a lot of reminiscing about where you've come from and what you've seen over the decades. This is an amazing accomplishment in your life. You've literally been in service to other's your whole career, yes they're not nice people, I'm sure a lot of them were and they made bad decisions, but you treat them fairly and that should be commended, too.

[bonkers65]

It's hard for me to accept compliments too. I don't like all the attention. You did good though. Be proud of yourself.

[jackiesj]

Maybe this is a different outlook....WE all need to know that there are peopleout there who care....that will leap into action, give it thier best,,,,that as we leave our doors(esepcially after covid which is still out there)....HOPE must abound. To SEE LEARN LISTEN.....and yes save if it shall be the case.You as a tool, need not be embarrassed and showing us all...good news good people exist. The news social media etc too full of the negative....pls take a pat on the back here too... a scout is always prepared....

[Thankfulforhelp22]

God chose you to do a good and noble thing because he believed in you. Be thankful for that. Others are getting joy from honoring you. Let them have their joy. Relax about it.

[designguy]

I get the difficulty of accepting the complement and being the center of attention can feel uncomfortable, a lot of us were shamed or punished for trying to be proud of ourselves and were never taught healthy self-worth, but try to allow it to soak in and accept that you did good and are worthy of the praise. Try to be the adult to yourself that you never had when you were young.

[Vasiliki99]

It's ok , just find strength elsewhere, tjats what I do, or sobriety elsewhere

[dmt1121]

Being accepting is important, even if you feel unworthy. They appreciate you and it gives them pleasure to recognize you. Enjoy!