struggle bus

[mizzou7016]

I am riding the struggle bus today....work has been a bear...dealing with my coworker being assaulted and when i responded myself getting assaulted....why do I struggle with wanting to be in control when there is no logical way or explanation of being in control....why do I struggle with accepting praise of any sort...I know things could've ended a lot...and I mean a lot different...but why am i struggling with it...

[AnxiousSilver]

"why do I struggle with wanting to be in control when there is no logical way or explanation of being in control"

Probably because anxious people tend to want to be in control, and we are not the biggest fans of uncertainty.

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I have spent almost 20 years of my life in a support group type of environment.

& Yes, I have seen somebody say in my previous group, that they would feel safer with flying in an airplane if they could fly the plane themselves. (yet they never had one flying lesson)

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In the heat of the moment, or during serious times of stress, we don't think of things like, "one day at a time". Yet, staying in the present makes more sense to us when we are not stressed out.

^ And I mess that one up almost on a daily basis with my Severe GAD. (AKA I am far from perfect, or recovered from that matter)

[mizzou7016 in reply to AnxiousSilver]

It's very hard for me to accept compliments in general...but it's even worse at work...I had a situation a few days ago where my supervisor got attacked.....and I was the 1st responder to the situation and I also got attacked...I know that i prevented it from getting worse by being there....by not backing down.......no hesitation.....but I did what i hope everyone in my position would do....saw the threat....confronted the threat.....and controlled the threat.....I did my job

[AnxiousSilver in reply to mizzou7016]

"I had a situation a few days ago where my supervisor got attacked.....and I was the 1st responder to the situation and I also got attacked...I know that i prevented it from getting worse by being there....by not backing down.......no hesitation....."

Here.. You work a brother and sisterhood type of job.

One of my remaining friends is a cop of 23-ish years. I understand the life style a little bit better after I met him. Heck, I came to appreciate cops in general after I met him.

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I know that I couldn't do that type of job if my life depended on it.

It's just not who I am.

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But you helped your Supervisor out.

He/She will never forget that.

& Neither should you.

Take care.

[AnxiousSilver]

"why do I struggle with accepting praise of any sort..."

One of the coolest things that I learned in my previous support group was this.

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If you you ever struggle with someone giving you a compliment..

Simply say, "Thank you" and let it go.

[Mumbutterfly]

Accepting compliments can be difficult either because we don’t think we deserve it or we’re just not used to being valued. Sometimes it’s the first for me and sometimes it’s the second, depending on the compliment. I try to just say thank you and go on but sometimes I downplay it by saying something like ‘just doing my job’. It’s one of the things I’m working on with my therapist. It’s hard to learn after a lifetime of feeling unworthy and seeming to not be valued. ‘I did my best’ doesn’t mean much when my best never seemed to be good enough.