Anxiety and family

[Nona00]

I have been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for about 8.5 years now. My husband and daughter have been relatively supportive. However my mom refuses to accept my condition. I have tried explaining to her what I go through on a day to day. It's like it goes in one ear and out the other. She thinks because she had anxiety one time and it was over quick that I should be able to just move on. I have tried to tell her to research it so she has a better idea but she refuses. She has even went as far as to tell me I do this to get sympathy and attention. Which is the furthest thing from who I am. It's bad enough that with this condition I beat myself up on my own. I don't need someone else doing it too. Has anyone else faced anything like this? If so how did you handle it?

[Agora1]

Hi Nona00, just wanted to let you know that you are far from being the only one

who has gone through family and friends not understanding. I will say, it does hurt.

Just as there are headaches and there are migraines, there also is temporary anxiety

vs long term ANXIETY. They are different from each other. Sure people get fearful

at times but our is a more powerful Mind/Body reaction to nothing in particular.

Just an intense thought can get us going.

My mother was my worst critic. Always saying that "I took the easy way out by not

attending family affairs" Not so easy as the average person may think.

I have a question if you care to answer. How old is your daughter? Might this have

all started after having her? Just a thought xx

[Nona00 in reply to Agora1]

Yeah my mom has criticized me quite a bit since all this has started. It has got to the point that I don't like talking or seeing her much anymore. Just the thought of seeing her or talking to her causing me anxiety. No it didn't start when I had my daughter. She is almost 23yrs old. Tha.k you for your reply. How have you couped with being criticized by family?

[Agora1 in reply to Nona00]

Hi Nona00, thank you for answering my question regarding your daughter. Sometimes

when having anxiety, we can become anxious just knowing our children are dependent on us when we are not so sure if we can depend on ourselves.

As for how I coped with being criticized by my mother? I didn't. I held in my hurt as I

was taught to respect my elders. I never told her how I felt. She was a good mother

but always protected me to the point in stifling me. Not allowing me to grow

emotionally until the day she died.

It was then I blossomed into who I was and overcame my anxiety. It's hard not

to repeat how we were brought up but I try each and every day to allow my

daughter to make decisions for herself and still love her xx

[EndUser13]

Chronic anxiety to the point of having panic attacks is a hard thing to explain to someone who hasn't been through it. I have had a similar issues with family who were ignorant (in more than one way). You may need to accept that you simply will never be able to sufficiently be able to explain this to some people.

Even those closest to you that are the most supportive may never truly be able to comprehend how you feel, but their empathy is what should matter most.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to EndUser13]

"their empathy is what should matter most."

This.

.

I have a friend of mine. (that I've known for almost 30 years)

He was of the very few that stuck with me, when everyone else left.

True friend, and very outgoing through most of this life, until recently. (where he admitted to me that he's coming down with anxiety issues)

& What he explained is about a year or two before my breakdown.

.

I know that he's not ready to fully talk about it yet. (even though he's said more than I thought that he would admit already)

But.. I recently threw the ball into his court, and he knows that he can call and talk to me about it at any time.

[Nona00 in reply to EndUser13]

Yes I agree. Unfortunately my mom don't have much empathy for what I go through.

[Madigansmom]

Sounds a bit familiar. What I experience is a mom who dismisses my anxiety, and acknowledges my siblings' similar anxiety obstacles. It's ok for my brother to succumb to the hold of this "disease," but I must meet all her expectations regardless of my challenges. It's a painful double standard. This has changed my perspective on my once strong relationship with my mom. Anxiety is challenging and exhausting. Family contributes to the negative obstacles. Sometimes it's all too much. 🥺

[Nona00 in reply to Madigansmom]

Yes me and my mom used to be closer than any of my siblings. She likes to tell me to just get up and do things or go out and do things. I try to tell her its not that simple. If it was I wouldn't go through what I do.

[AnxiousSilver]

"However my mom refuses to accept my condition."

Short and sweet.. I love my parents, but they only understand physical pain, and not mental illness.

I still love them, but it's people (like this community) that understand the condition more.

[Nona00 in reply to AnxiousSilver]

I love my parents too but unfortunately I may have to love my mom from a distance.

[Atthepark]

Yep my dad is the total same way . I just learned nit to rely on my parents when I'm going thru anxiety and find other good friends in my life to vent to. Yeah family sucks but there are others people who would understand u like people here. Hope this helps

[Nona00 in reply to Atthepark]

Unfortunately I have lost almost all my friends, so it gets very lonely feeling like I have to face my anxiety and panic attacks on my own. I appreciate you commenting on my post. That is why I joined this group to help ease some of the loneliness.

[Bermudagal]

I have tried to explain to some friends, they just don’t understand. I’m afraid to tell others. My husband does try to help. We’ve been through so much… can I reach out to you from time to time… I’m so scared!