Anxiety and Depression in the Family

[Possibilities9]

Since I am new here, this is my first post. Thank you for including me.

A family member suffers from anxiety and depression. It's now manifesting as such fear of the pandemic that she will not take her mask off at work long enough to take a sip of water. She insists on bringing a hepa filter to the doctor's office. It goes on and on. News sets her off with fear, too. I need help dealing with her fears. So worried, she is controlling me. To get along with her, I am conflicted about her limits for me. I have COPD, which is the focus of her fear. So, I am grateful for her protection, yet concerned with her extreme zero tolerance for herself over the pandemic. There are hundreds of examples of that, too many for typing. Where do I go for guidance to help her? She is on Lexapro, but it's not enough to cover this fear. Thank you in advance.

[Hidden]

I have someone in my life with same issue. I honestly feel they may need to talk with a therapist to help them reason things out. My family member unfortunately refuses therapy so I don’t have a result to share with you. I do take Lexapro and find it helpful but maybe talk to the doctor about a different drug choice. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Reach out anytime.

[Possibilities9 in reply to Hidden]

So sorry, Mark, that you have a similar problem. At one time, she was willing to go to a psychiatrist, but couldn't find one available for 4 months. By then she was better but had gone through hell. Frustrating.

[Possibilities9 in reply to Hidden]

So sorry, Mark, that you have the same problem. Lexapro is working well in most of her life, but not the pandemic fear. At one point, she was willing to see a doctor but couldn't get an available psychiatrist

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Is she open to going to therapy? If she’s not, you can’t make her. Talk to her about it and let her know you’re concerned.

[Possibilities9 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

LilyAnne, Thanks for reaching out. She's very logical and is sure she is right.

[Lve2dance]

A friend of mine his cousin wears like three masks won't use a bathroom anywhere although a lot of public bathrooms are gross lol. Will, barely leave the house even though he has all his vaccines. Some people are still being over careful. They should not project it on to other people. It is up to the individual how much they want to do. I'm sure she's concerned for health problems. Send you big hugs

[Lve2dance]

I work in the mall and some customers still wear masks. My doctor's offices vary in mask requirements now. It is not a bad idea to use hand sanitizers anyways

[Hidden]

It sounds like your family member has a significant anxiety problem. Lexapro is an antidepressant with some anti-anxiety benefits, but it is not specifically for anxiety. She may want to consult with her doctor about her continued anxiety level level and find a more appropriate medication.

It sounds like your family member also benefit from psychotherapy to discuss your problems, not just a medication review. I would also suggest that she take a look at cognitive behavioral therapy as a way of helping her to deal with her anxiety, although she may be resistant to doing that.

[punkster]

I used to be just like your family member. Fortunately, my husband was pretty patient with me, but my coworkers were not. I was already seeing a therapist for help with anxiety before Covid, which sent my anxiety through the roof! I went to see a psychiatrist, who tried different medications (benzos and antidepressant). I didn't like the way I felt on these meds, and the antidepressant caused weight gain. I came down with Covid December 1, 2022. My acute case was mild, but I suffered from stomach issues, "crushing" fatigue and high blood pressure for several months. I definitely don't want to get it again, but I have decided (through help from a therapist) that I don't want Covid to ruin the rest of my life. It took me a long time to change my thinking. I have weaned myself off all medications now and I am feeling like my old self (minus the extreme anxiety). Please be patient with your family member, as it is hell to feel the way they do. Encourage them to get therapy. Psychologists provide therapy, psychiatrists supply meds. Best of luck to you and your family member. If they want to communicate with me, please have them message me.

[Lve2dance]

Definitely. I'm pretty careful at work. If some one is wearing a mask then I gave them even more space to be polite.

[emmi331]

It sounds like your family member has problems you can't solve. You can suggest a number of things to her, but after that try to "detach with love" for the sake of your own sanity.

We have to accept the likelihood that Covid will always be around, but so will the Asian flu, so will cancer and other killers. When someone turns fear into obsession and phobia, they need professional help. This is up to your family member to recognize and act on.

I'm assuming she's an adult, so you have little power over what she chooses to do. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can be at peace with it. You sound very caring, but I hope you will not allow another person's problems to inform your life.