My mom called me and ruined me. People on the internet understand but people here doesn't

[Against_the_current]

Grandma, who knows im dying and have to search for a place and have exam and am bothered, called mom to tell her she could get me some job at a kindergarten at her goddamn village. As if i don't have enough. Exam, trying to find a place, my trauma, this assault. And my mom said "they're just honest men to have told you, they could have kept on watching, how kind of them telling you". And my f-ing grandma to tell mom before me. Why do these want to get me a job when dad's paying for me? Bi-ches. And grandma said she's dying too but isn't crying like me. It drives me crazy how in normal countries you know this is wrong but in mine it's nothing. And how people on the internet understand me more than my own people.

[SoporRose]

I'm so sorry that your grandmother spoke to your mother before you had a chance to tell your mom about your situation. But it sounds as if she erred out of fear for you, so at least she was taking you seriously.

A while back you wrote something about your dad being willing to help you find an apartment. I don't remember what came of that. Would this be a time to ask him to help? You sound pretty desperate.

I know your mom didn't say what you needed to hear, but will you be safer in her house? Will it be more possible to study there, where you have food and water and access to a kitchen and don't have to worry about the neighbours?

It's terrible not to have any good choices, but which option is the least bad?

Ruth

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Dad said "move out but if you find cheaper option". My current opinions are a bit more expensive plus i will have to pay water, internet and tv bill so he won't be of help. At home i absolutely can't study. It's always "help ur sis study, i want you at bed by 12" meanwhile im writing this at 5am. I feel torn out between going home and staying here and saying that doesn't make it easier. I don't know what is real and what is panic and ptsd. I just know mom takes care of me but triggers that panic and ptsd and I can't study. My most current post expresses how torn my soul is because of living with mom or not or it's just a panic attack and my first response is to need mom but probably she wouldn't help me at 4am

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Does your therapist have any good advice about how to talk with your mom?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Unfortunately no. She just says "she's not at therapy"

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I have no idea what that means.