Mom called and im triggered and worried about her and asking myself who's manipulating me

[Against_the_current]

She said she sent me money on my bank account to go to the sinus doctor but dad told her im not using the money on my back account and just storing them and to give them to him to send them to me in cash. Mom was worried "your father is brainwashing your sister into thinking you don't use the money on your bank account". The last night i was browsing jobs and i saw graphic designer and i felt so bad I didn't learn how to do it. Then texted sis and i told her to get visual arts on her tablet because she can make money, she told me to send her some money because she couldn't buy the tablet for drawing and to get something for mom's birthday, she said im not using my bank account anyway. I told her im saving money to buy a home. Now mom called me and said dad brainwashed her into thinking i don't use my bank account and he's giving me money. Like i save those in case he stops giving me money so i don't end up starving and homeless, should I be spending them on tablets and on essentials while i still have someone cover them? Now i don't know who to believe. I worry about her mental state and that victim position. Or maybe dad's really messing up and she cares? She loves me and im confused. What is real? Dear God, what is real?!

Just some scrolling for jobs on midnight and now im in crisis

[012703060610]

First, you area a good sister. I feel that in your post. This sounds a bit like a lot of confusion and likely some manipulation of your sister. Is it only you that has access to your bank account? If you are an adult, I believe money is your own business. No one needs to know the ins and outs of what you spend and how. If your father wants to give you money, you shouldn't have to explain away choices. I would applaud my child for saving up for a home. If he is saying you aren't spending it to guilt you to send to your sister, that is mean and rude. I don't believe you should be buying expensive things that aren't essential if you are trying to save and build a life for YOU. Put yourself first. Something I didn't do for way too long. Now if your father has access to your account and shuts you out, is the back up plan a new job? Hence the looking? Wish I knew more about your job market.....but I get it. My family makes me think crazy things. I can only trust my one sister and the rest manipulate to what they want. I have had to cut my one sister and her daughter out for totally manipulating a whole lot of family issues.

[Against_the_current in reply to 012703060610]

Thanks. My account is private and im keeping it like that. All my income therecomes from my schoolarship but since im graduating bachelor, i probably need to find a job but idk if my my physical and mental health let me

[SoporRose]

What is real is that your money is your money and that saving it is absolutely the right thing to do. It is not up to you to get your sister a tablet. If she wants one, she's old enough to get a job and save for it. If you can, tell your mom how much you appreciate that she sent you some money (give her lots of positive reinforcement for doing the right thing. It was a kindness) and that sending it directly to your account is the best way to get funds to you. Don't even talk about your dad.

As for your sister, tell her kindly that the money you have is not her business, that. you are managing your finances, and that your folks shouldn't be talking with her about your business, and that you're sorry she has to contend with so much emotional noise.

Those are my suggestions, if they work for you.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks. Yeah, that's absolutely my business and at my age i need it

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Good for you!