Mother/daughter trying to heal.

[Montana136]

I am going to an appointment with my therapist and my daughter today. I recently wrote her an apology because depression anxiety and PTSD symptoms interrupted my parenting of her. I gave her a description of what the events that occurred in certain things that I was particularly or rather specifically sorry about saying or doing. So today I hear her response. My psychiatrist did not want me to hear this response from my daughter while I was alone, so she recommended we be with my therapist. So my daughter's either going to blow me off completely or she's going to want to try and heal and repair our relationship. I don't know which. I should be jumping out of my skin but for some reason I am not. I am unsettling like, calm. Not even on medication yet. I hope my daughter accepts me as I am with all my imperfections.

this is a big day for my daughter, who is 20.. she gets to tell me, her mentally ill mother, how my problems and decisions have affected her. I'm probably going to be back on health unlocked in a few hours explaining to you guys what happened and how devastated I am. But maybe it'll work out maybe it'll go in my favor and she'll want to heal instead of run from me. Keep you posted.. I hope this goes well. Take care of yourselves be well..✌️😅👍

[Hidden]

Hi Montana, you did a great thing writing her a letter and opening up with your truths. She may not be receptive with talking in front of a stranger. It may take some time since she’s only 20. Hope it goes smoothly, and looking forward to an update.

[Montana136 in reply to Hidden]

Hello CharlottelSo we went to our counselor's appointment and it went way better than I expected. I thought my daughter might blow me off but she didn't. Talking about my depression and her and my situation emotionally overwhelms her and she spaces out or disassociates. I did not know this until my therapist pointed it out to me and her that she is doing this. It's weird because I do the same thing only I do it to a level times 10. I space out for long periods of time minutes to an hour. So the visit went well we established her boundaries and my boundaries expectations. It went way better than I anticipated. Yeah she's 20 she's young she's got a lot on her own plate right now with college and life, the searing burning pain of regular life. Thank you so much for your words of kindness. I hope your day goes well.

be well.

[Hidden in reply to Montana136]

Glad to hear it went well. Sometimes these kids can surprise us, you never know. Great job👍

[012703060610]

What a positive step forward no matter the outcome. Agree that at 20 it may be hard. You are so brave and this gives me something to think about as I'm not well with three little ones. I have written them letters over time that I save so that I don't forget. Please remember, no matter what, you feeling like you didn't do you best is not your fault. All of your struggles are real and that needs to be validated. I do think though this generation understands mental health much better than those of us in our 30s and older.

[Montana136 in reply to 012703060610]

Thank you so much for your kind response. You know it's interesting a few people have called me brave for writing this letter to my daughter. I thank you for that thank you for helping me see that it was a brave courageous act on my part. You see I don't ever give myself any credit I am so hard on myself. I didn't even consider the letter being a act of courage. Thank you again for your support I hope your day is a good one. Be well.