Heartbreak

[Blue236]

Hi!

I have been occasionally having anxiety from past few years, what made me join this group today is, I have been in a relationship for 8 years now and the person is really a good human being, yesterday I just caught him having a casual account in fb dating app, which he confronted and said it is just random he is not doing anything, I know he spend most of the time with me so it is hard to believe that he ever physically cheated on me, but for me something similar happened in past which I passed as I didn’t wanted to give up on my relationship, but what happened yesterday has made me ask my worth and where I actually stand in his life, I care for him a lot but I don’t want to suffer this , I am just overthinking and I am trying to not have any thought , I am saying to myself I need to think about me first, but it all goes in vein when I start overthinking, while thinking few times I had a little pain in my heart and my mouth is dry, it hurts as I have given my whole time to this person. He is a good person, but I really don’t know how to react. I came here to just share as I don’t have anyone to speak to. Thank you

[LilyAnnepuppy]

”A casual account in fb dating app…”. Why would he be on a dating app? I wouldn’t like it at all. Anyone in a relationship with me must be all in. I demand respect because I am worth monogamy. Sorry to sound so adamant but I see red flags here. Hopefully you two can work it out.

[Blue236 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

hey!

Thank you for the revert, you know what I know that it is wrong, but I don’t know why I am not able to let go.. it is hard believe me, I have tears in my eyes rightnow.. I want to think about myself first, but it really hurts. LilyAnnepuppy

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Blue236]

That’s understandable. Eight years is a long time. But don’t get ahead of yourself. You may be able to work it out. Have you considered couple’s counseling? There may be underlying issues that need to be addressed. Are you in counseling for your anxiety? What does your therapist say?

[Blue236 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

no, I am not, as I occasionally get anxiety usually when I am stressed about something I usually take over the counter pills for this , I am living here in UNited states away from family and have no one to talk to no friends no family, it has made me more lonely. I don’t know what is right or wrong at this point, but I just want to get out of it as it is getting worse for me.

[Shape-Shifter in reply to Blue236]

I would reach out to a therapist. That will give you an anchor of support in your anxiety and your relationship issues. There are some who work online for a reasonable price. Then they would help you navigate this relationship. Some people open their relationships to include other people, but it must be mutual and consensual. Hiding it from you is a serious red flag.

[Blue236 in reply to Shape-Shifter]

Hi!

You are right, I surely will look for a therapist.