Feeling Scared of Authority at Work

[Renizzle2023]

This happens so frequently, and I have talked about it with my counselor frequently as well. Authority figures. I don’t do well with authority figures.

The thinking in my brain is that they are always right, they are always looking at me and judging my performance, and they are always finding things to criticize.

The feeling is just to be terrified of fault finding and judgement.

And mostly the doing/behavior is just to feel anxious and scared at work every time I see her approach and every time she looks in my direction. I also don’t talk to her very much, sometimes even when it is necessary to communicate something work related. It’s frankly ridiculous how helpless this makes me feel and act.

The truth is that I have a very decent manager who even gave me employee of the month recognition. She has been appreciative and positive and even friendly.

I’m not sure how to progress out of this thinking/ feeling/ doing cycle. Any suggestions?

[Dolphin14]

Is there a history of this? Sometimes this stems from childhood judgement.

Just a thought

🐬

[Renizzle2023 in reply to Dolphin14]

Yes, I have spoken about it with my counselor. But knowing what it stems from isn’t very helpful to me with overcoming and acting differently.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Renizzle2023]

I learned through a lot of therapy how to deal with this. That's why I posed the question.

I wish you the best of luck. I know how hard this can be

[Settling]

I used to be the same way when I worked and I found that when I don't work my thought process was NOT correct. I believe I had extremely high standards for myself and I thought my bosses had the same standards of me and they truly DID NOT. The next job I did the same and got a dollar raise in three months. My attitude was that they were going to fire me. Kudos for you getting employee of the month that's wonderful and goes to show you that you're doing well. Perhaps like myself it's your thinking that needs adjusted a bit. Have confidence in yourself because I'm sure you're doing a great job and as long as they're not calling you in the office you're doing okay and that's good enough. I was the one that was uncomfortable and paranoid and afraid. There were times I made mistakes I wasn't perfect and no one is. But I listened to a video one time on criticism and making mistakes and instead of feeling bad you just said "thank you"for letting you know you made the mistake and then you think about the mistake you made and how to improve yourself or if they told you you made a mistake and you didn't really make that mistake then you just take it with a grain of salt and set it aside as an adult. By saying thank you when you made the mistake it made a whole difference in how you felt afterwards. You were actually thanking them for letting you know you made your mistake because it's very important and you'll learn from it and again we're all human and we make mistakes no one is perfect like I say. But it's a whole other thing if we keep making the same mistake. Which I'm sure you won't. So go easy on yourself, smile and have some fun that's important in a job too, relax and seek truth, you are good enough the Way You are. And I'm sure you're doing well at your job. So if you're worrying needlessly you don't need to. I spent many years doing that don't follow in my footsteps it truly was not necessary and added a lot of stress and anxiety to my job. And it also created me to be not as friendly as I could be because I was so stressed although I was always kind. But I was just work work work work work because I took my job so seriously. I needed to lighten up I was a very good worker for 38 years I hope you can learn something from what I have said. Best of luck moving forward.

[Renizzle2023 in reply to Settling]

That is a good point about holding high standards. I also hold myself to high standards, and you are right. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! And for the encouragement!

[Settling in reply to Renizzle2023]

I glad you found something helpful!!❤️

[Artistfriend]

My first thought is get to know her better, maybe make small talk ask her about herself, stuff not work related

[Renizzle2023 in reply to Artistfriend]

yea, that’s a good suggestion. It’s also good for me to practice making small talk. It doesn’t come easily to me! But I’ll try.