Confused

[CLB1125]

I have been talking to an online therapist (I don't know if I can mention the name, but it's a popular one) I really like her, but here's the dilemma: It costs me $180 a month. My husband just fully retired so we will lose $1200 a month income. So I thought about going through my insurance. They tell me there will be $0 co-pay. That's a plus. But I will have to talk by video. I have issues with talking to people I don't know. I don't like talking on the phone either...I have issues! LOL I don't want people seeing my crying face! So anyway I scheduled an appointment with the insurance therapist, at least I thought I did. I am supposed to meet today. I went to the site and no appointment shows up. It took me 2 weeks to get myself to make that appointment. So now don't know what I should do. Change freaks me out. Maybe I should say forget about it. Decisions come so easy to most people, but not me.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

It sounds like you’re in a dilemma and I feel for you. I don’t know how it will work out. But I know it will. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Putting one foot in front of the other and do the next thing you can.

[IlMinded]

CLB1125, I am sorry about your issues. You are at the age where change is all around you. I don't think its an issue with the meeting someone as it is more with issues with your insurance. First off, don't listen to them on what you "need" to do.

As with retirement, you need to first figure out the insurance and co-insurance. If your insurance covers, they may push their virtual appointments, alla what Aetna does. But the thing they don't tell you is if your doctor is working with you, and part of the treatment is getting used to face to face, you can get by with phone interviews. Its more about the therapist you meet with.

First find a therapist that accepts your insurance. Next, tell them your situation. Most therapist are understanding and will work with you to help you, and for them to get paid. In the mean time, post on here if you need to talk anonymously until you're able to get the help you need.

P.S. There is a lady I watched videos in-between my sessions on YouTube. The channel is called "Therapy in a nutshell." She puts up videos on basic stuff you can do to help yourself until you are able to get the help specific to your needs. She also explains the different disorders in a way where it helps you understand what your are suffering from.

[CLB1125 in reply to IlMinded]

thanks I will check it out.

[stillstandingrosa]

I think it's important to remember why we go to therapy in the first place. It's about finding a safe human so that we can rebuild trust with a tiny little corner of the world. I think all of us who experience anxiety have had our trust shaken in some way... maybe we don't trust ourselves enough to know the difference between good and bad connections.

I think it matters, at least for me I really look forward to therapy but it took me a month to make the first appointment, and initially I was terrified. It is so soothing to have someone on your side.

[CLB1125 in reply to stillstandingrosa]

I really liked the therapist I have been seeing. Yesterday I cried all day because I won’t be able to talk to her anymore. I hate that I get so little money from retirement that I can’t keep talking to her. I’m afraid I won’t find anyone like her.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Try again with the insurance person. It is free. You might find another person you like. Give them a chance and go feeling hopeful.

[CLB1125]

I finally met with the new therapist. Still on the fence. I’ll give it a couple more weeks. She’s nice enough and easy to talk to but already started wanting to mess with my meds. I understand her point of view that I do take a lot of them. But I don’t want to mess with what works either. Mirapex works for the restless legs. If anyone has it you know how mind blowing it can be!! Being someone who can’t stand up to anyone, I don’t want someone taking it away and leave me to go insane!!! Then she suggests a psychiatrist, I know it’s about the depression meds I’m on but my mind went to holy sh*t Im going crazy!!

[CLB1125]

it’s been two sessions with the new therapist. She’s a nice person but…always a but, she’s telling me what I need to do. Most of you know what that’s like. I can’t tell anyone how i want to be treated!! Instead of helping me with my anxiety it’s off the charts! If I could tell my son he lies and he needs to start taking care of his own finances I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. 😢 when does the happy content life happen?

[stillstandingrosa in reply to CLB1125]

The happy content life is a myth. I think we have to find the happy in the midst of the poop pile.