I know this is odd, but it got me thinking. Thought I'd ask here.
I have always dealt with mental health issues way before I realized there was actually something wrong. For the longest time as a child, I tried rationalizing what was wrong because my issues didn't look like issues that other people dealt with. Mine didn't seem as devastating or drastic.
Therefore, I internalized a lot of things. I've internalized so much that I talk to myself in my head and give myself feedback, like a therapist. I know I am in no means a therapist. But I've had therapists in the past comment on how insightful I am and aware of my issues (although I usually give them the lighter of my issues).
Long story short, I financially cant do therapy right now and don't have anyone I could really talk to. So I continue to rationalize/talk through my problems myself.
My question being, is there a name for what I'm do, by rationalizing/internalizing my problems?
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IDK what it is called, but I have two immediate relatives that have done it and do it and therapists that I’ve personally asked have said that’s a great tool/insight to have. Have you tried reading or listening to books like F coping start living or Dr Weekes books? They have a lot of tools and maybe with your skills it will be great help for you!!!
There are many self help books out there, maybe try some of those.
Online free courses are great. I've taken many on psychology, mindfulness, health and well being, happiness.
Guided meditations are also another great learning tool. Not everyone enjoys meditation but it's not all deep breathing etc. Guided meditations offer lessons on so many things.
I think of you add some of these they may guide you to a better understanding of yourself. I can tell you from experience internalizing may lead to a lot of pain down the line.
Guided meditation have been helpful. I'll admit I thought they were a bunch of hoowy or that I didn't need it because I could manage myself. Eventually I've learned that it's ok to need and accept help in an alternative way
Maybe you're thinking of coping mechanism? Often times without therapy, we rationalize and internalize our circumstances to cope with what we are going through. We try to make sense of our experiences to survive it, especially if it was traumatic. What makes things complicated is that some times when we rationalize those events, we might essentially minimize or alter the trauma we've been through. Maybe this is what you're thinking of?
"yes tru its very helpful to us advicing others and ive sometimes found i can give good advice to others and to myself but i dont always take my own advice"
Sometimes, that's when it's the most helpful.
There's times where I've typed something up, and (somewhere) before I hit reply, I realize that I'm helping myself as well in the process.
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Which is kinda cool, especially since that wasn't your original intention.
I think that you are, in fact, rationalizing your difficulties. However, it is important to remember that you are problems are very meaningful to you even if people don't seem to be concerned about them.
In order to help yourself , I would recommend the book Feeling Great by David Burns. It is one of the best books on cognitive behavioral therapy. It will give you very specific techniques to help yourself to feel better. You can teach yourself to be your own therapist and I think that you will find this book useful because of all the introspection you have already done.
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There are other ways to work on yourself. As long as you are seeing progress and your quality of life is ok then things are good 
telling your loved ones about your depression
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