Am I in the wrong?

[Lookingforhope20100]

So a little back story here I have a daughter she is almost 3, her father isn't in the picture actually he is in prison. Now hold up I can explain when I first met him he was a good guy and we had a lot of fun he got me out of a hole I spent a lot of time in my safe space. It didn't hurt that he was good looking. Anyways I'm with someone new and he is great and he takes care of me and my daughter and he loves us. We'll I keep in contact with my daughters father through letters and I find it easier to talk to him cuz be isn't here and can't walk away if I say something he doesn't like. Well a few days ago I wrote him a letter and it had a lot of my deep feelings in it and it was only meant for her father but my new man found it and read it and then got mad at me for the things I wrote I told him that was an invasion of privacy. He said there is no privacy between us. It upset me a lot and I told him why and he didn't understand and turned it into a fight. So am I wrong is it not an invasion of privacy.

[hypercat54]

No you are right as it is a gross invasion of privacy. This is a red flag and you need to think very carefully before you carry on with him.

He sounds quite controlling. Is he?

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to hypercat54]

Not in the sense of telling me what to do but he is in other ways

[hypercat54 in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

Oh dear. Honestly I can't see a future with this guy if he behaves this way now. It can only get worse with time - and will. The price of caring for you seems a bit too high to me.

[Midori in reply to hypercat54]

Yes, they only get worse. I had one like that, and it did get worse, even to physical beatings. We had two children together and I left with the kids for weekends sometimes, he was so controlling. Fortunately, this was the time before Cellphones. but when they became common, it became unbearable.

Eventually I took the kids and ran to a refuge, which transferred me to another in a different county, and filed for a restraining order and a divorce. After 6 weeks he suicided, and all I felt was a sick relief. I had to sort out his affairs (legal) and arrange the funeral. There;s more to it than that; His family were appalling.

I cut contact with that side of the family. I'm glad I did, we made our own way since then,

Cheers, Midori

[optimismrus]

Clearly an invasion of privacy. Having said that, I'm not sure that writing your deepest feelings to a man that's not in your life and not helping you or his daughter, is wise. If the man you're with loves you and your daughter, it might be more important to end the friendship with a man who might not ever help you and your daughter. Make a good friend you can tell your deepest feelings to. Your trust has been bruised by your fiance's reading the letter and it might help to see a couple counselor to talk it out. Best wishes for a happy family. 🥰