Am I in the wrong? Trigger warning

[Dolphfan47]

Today I had two appointments one was an hour away which I was going to by myself because it was a follow up to the ENT which is something that I will possibly have to do the rest of my life (Ling story). Anyway the other one was about 5 minutes from my house and it was to the pain dr who was going to give me an injection to see if they could possibly curb my pain in my lower back. I asked my husband last week if he was gonna take me because we were not sure if I was able to drive afterwards. He said yes however because he didn’t to sleep until 4 this morning he WAS too tired to take me to my afternoon appointment but he wasn’t to tired to stay home and have sex with his whore. I’m hurt and upset I feel rejected and unimportant am I wrong for feeling this way? I mean I have been in pain for weeks now sex has been the farthest thing from my mind.. I understand he’s a man they have their needs but seriously it’s like I’m unimportant and she’s more important. If I say anything he’ll say I told you Becky could’ve gone with you but the problem with that is he would’ve had to watch all three kids and he couldn’t do that.. besides am I wrong wanting him there? I get home and say I’m in pain and I hurt he doesn’t even make his white wake up and move off the couch so I can stretch out it’s like she’s more important to him than me.. if she wants to sleep make her go downstairs to her bed and sleep have some respect.. I’m just wondering if I’m in the wrong for feeling this way? Please don’t tell me to leave because as I have mentioned in previous posts my county lacks the resources for me to leave unfortunately.. so until I can figure out a safety plan that I am currently working on with my therapist I am pretty much stuck here right now. But trust me I appreciate the gesture.

[litethatnevergoesout]

I think the way you’re feeling is the natural humanistic and appropriate feeling to have. I do know your story and I still cannot believe you’re still dealing with this living situation. I must say there has to be a way out of this circumstance that your in.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Yeah my situation only gets suckier as time goes on I guess.. at least me and my therapist are working on a safety plan.. Like someone said once before they never really realized how sad our resources were.. it’s all good I guess I have a lot going on with my health so at least I can get lost in that right now. I just wish I had someone else around to help me make decisions or be there for me.. I had knee replacements one when I was 45 years old now I’m 48 some days my knees hurt some days they are okay.. just found out later part of last year my hip has osteoarthritis, a tear and a cyst they tried everything so far only thing left is a hip replacement.. like I said I’m only 48 years old..

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Dolphfan47]

You’re right in that you definitely need someone strictly for you, if it has to be you for now then okay. you’re going through serious life issues way too young. keep improving every thing you can every day bit by bit.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

You know I don’t even think I can trust anyone after everything he has done to me and has put me through the last 7 years. I have serious PTSD from all of this.. I wouldn’t even be able to trust that person to be telling the truth and that’s pretty sad.. like you said I have serious stuff going on and it sucks because I have a 5 year old that I need to be here for and I don’t even know what to do.. no one is around to talk to to get another opinion.. he has done alienated me from my family I don’t have any friends.. he’s in my ear about not getting the surgery but I don’t know trust his decision I have pros and cons on getting the surgery. Im at a loss..

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Dolphfan47]

I should’ve said I don’t have any friends that I can just call up on the phone he also made sure of that.. the only people I talk to is on here and my therapist.. that’s it no one else..

[Hidden]

How do you know he had sex with his whore while you were out?

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Hidden]

Because he waited until I got home to do it .. Sorry I should have clarified that in the post.. so it was in my face which is ten time even worse to me anyways.. while me and his other whore was downstairs dealing with the kids and getting dinner.. My husband has two whores living in our house because his first one did him dirty so to get back at her he now has the second one there to throw in her face because Becky can’t stand her.. My living situation is a huge mess but unfortunately our county has limited resources which suck..

[Hidden]

So, you are in an open marriage?

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Hidden]

No my husband decided that he was unhappy in our sex life but he loved me and so to help HIM he decided to bring in another women into our marriage because I told him that I had one experience with another woman so he thought that I would be okay. However when he brought whore #1 in I was still recovering from knee replacement surgery but he fell in love with a picture and he wanted her so he wouldn’t listen to anything I said brought her in had her move in about a week or so of meeting her…knocked her up within a week or two of her living here.. found out about two months after being with her all the time that she was still talking to her old f*** buddies and new ones also sending recent nude pictures.. oh yeah he put me on the back burner because she was new and he was establishing something with her.. because she hurt his ego he waited almost three years and finally found someone to move in enter whore #2 so he has sex with her occasionally and throws it in #2 face because she hurt him.. it’s a very messy situation I left a lot out like the abuse but thats just a whole lotta story..

[Hidden]

You said there was no way for you to leave this living situation but what you are describing is emotional abuse. There are shelters and programs to help abuse victims leave their abusers. Your mental health would probably improve if you were able to live in a less toxic environment. Do you have any friends or family that can assist you?