My mother is the person I like the le... - Anxiety and Depre...

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My mother is the person I like the least.

Kaashi_Reads profile image
5 Replies

I have had the best moments of my life when I wasn't with my family. I also believe that they are kind of bad luck for me. Because if I had a chance at choosing, i would choose only my sister again for the next lifetime.

I feel that my father although loves me but has had his own fights going forward. My mother has been the main reason between my father and me growing apart which looks irreversible now.

Growing up I always loved my father more than my mother. But my mother played victim card a lot while I was a teenager telling me she wanted me to live the freedom she didn't have , to buy things she couldn't,to live the life she couldn't. She told me of how her in laws treated her and how my paternal uncle had a bad eye on her which my father turned a blind eye to.

She manipulated me into thinking my father was a bad father when in reality he was a bad husband. I accused my father a lot those days , he beared a lot but then he just started ignoring whatever I said. He used to tell me don't turn into your mother.

Interestingly, even my partner says that.

My mother always pushed me too far in academics. During COVID , I actually came asymptomatic positive . So I couldn't attend my med school for two months. But by end semester I was one of the four people who actually passed the test end semester. My mom was angry that I didn't topped.

She said she wanted to excel now that I look back I see a mother who failed at her own professional life is looking for validation by taking credit for her daughter's success.

Yet she calls me I am ungrateful for whatever she has done, whenever we have an argument. She tells me I am lucky to have everything what she didn't have at my age. What she fails to understand is that her generation was different than mine. She isn't even millennial , she is GenX. How can she compare her life with me when the century was different and the values were different.

She should be comparing mother daughter dup of the today with us. And she what she gave me was a childhood filled with all necessities which a lot of people my age have got. Yet I am grateful for it.

But how many of the daughter have left their lives and came to live with their mothers to help an ailing brother?

I was living perfectly but I came because it was my duty for my brother and now that I see I was scared that I would loose him.

How stupid I feel now that the treatment is getting over and my emotions are back to normal that I left a peaceful and loving partner for around a year to help my toxic mother

Its double bummer.

I just wish that the treatment gets over soon. My brother turns out healthy and all this family drama is finished.

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Kaashi_Reads
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5 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

I am pleased to hear your 12 year old brother is getting a bit better. How is your 12 year old sister?

Kaashi_Reads profile image
Kaashi_Reads in reply tohypercat54

Better

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

I think you need to reframe that.

You went to help your brother didn't you? He was the priority. I'm so glad he is doing better.

You are going to need a lot of therapy to come to terms with your family issues. I know this, I've been there.

Wishing you the best

🐬

Kaashi_Reads profile image
Kaashi_Reads in reply toDolphin14

I took therapy once but it couldn't find the write therapist to work with

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

Don't stop looking. Hopefully you will come across someone that can help you work on this.

You will be at peace if you can work on understanding the toxic behaviors and what they did to you.

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