Please I want clarification on something. People around me always tell me to forget the past and move on but I want to ask, if something bad happens to you in the past do you just forget and move or you need to make things right before you can be free to move on? When you forget and move on, won’t the guilt eat you up?
Please i really need your ideas because it’s like am feeling stuck in the past and finding it difficult to move and it’s is affecting my mental health greatly. Please what do you suggest I do, every view is welcomed.
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Soulvibe
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hi Soulvibe, I’m an advocate or tackling those traumas head on, maybe with the assistance of a therapist when needed. It’s been my experience that I can never just forget the past. But working through the issues not only helps relieve the pain and anguish, but also promotes healing and self growth. Big proponent of dealing with your issues vice pushing them under the rug. Good luck, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help in the trauma is severe. It can be tough to process these events by yourself
My spiritual 2 cents: What I learned from Ram Dass and other spiritual teachers is that the souls can not be harmed in any way. The soul is the observer inside you. You can get a better feel for it through meditation.
Anyway - since the soul is okay the event could not hurt it.
In addition, staying in the present moment- “The Now” - which is where we always are - is the goal of meditators and people who want to free themselves from the past.
So my advice would be to learn meditation and “staying in the now” in addition to seeking therapy if you think you need that too.
in dealing with my past, I have to look at my own actions and see where/if I was at fault. If someone did something horrendous to me, I need to pray for them. If I had any percentage of culpability, I need to address that. But like has already been mentioned, I need input from professionals sometimes. Sometimes close friends, who will tell me the truth, are good enough. But analyzing myself by myself is fruitless.
My past is always with me. But I get up each day with one goal. To be the best person I can. That is how I move forward. It is the only way I know how to.
I think a big part of forgiveness is about forgiving ourselves for things that happened in the past and accepting that we did the best we could at the time with what we knew and be compassionate with ourself. We gain wisdom through our lived experiences and the benefit of hindsight but we didn't have that hindsight at the time. If we intentionally hurt someone we can choose to apologize to them and if someone hurt us we can also choose to forgive them or not. If we are compassionate with ourself it will be easier to understand why someone hurt us and realize it wasn't really about us but was about them. Like if you were bullied, the problem really wasn't about you it was their own issues and they took them out on you. This awareness gives you the ability to take back your power and you can then decide to forgive them or not but it no longer has power over you. You may remember it at times in the future but it will have less emotional control over you.
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