Addiction: the needing is only a feeling - Anxiety and Depre...

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Addiction: the needing is only a feeling

Starrlight profile image
35 Replies

So I keep feeling like I need something badly. I feel shame and guilt for feeling I really want to take a pill or drink. This will get better. It has to. The needing is only a feeling but it’s all day every day...I must succeed... get past this.

Anyone ever become addicted? How do you cope?

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Starrlight profile image
Starrlight
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35 Replies
Ddorne profile image
Ddorne

I don’t have addiction, but I have OCD which is compulsive and chronic. I’m supposed to abstain from doing my rituals as much as I can. It can be hard, but the need to do them will diminish with time. I’ve had many addict friends and they are successful when they go to meetings or talk to their sponsors.

Keep doing what you’ve been doing. I will pray for you. One day at a time.

LD

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Ddorne

I am not in a place where I can go be with a sponsor or go to meetings, I’ve done that before it’s too much as I like to get through things with just family and friend support although I am seeing a therapist.

mommabear0206 profile image
mommabear0206

I have not suffered from addiction personally, but both of my parents are recovering addicts, and it is a constant battle in my own mind to keep from taking that same path. I understand what you mean by the need. When I have my really bad days my mind immediately goes towards wanting a drink, or taking something to calm the chaos. But I too have to remind myself that it will only help temporarily and that I don't want to make the same choices that my parents did. For myself, my husband and my children. Keep doing the best that you can, day by day, and know that you are not alone.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to mommabear0206

Thanks! 🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to mommabear0206

So I’ve been taking passionflower and kava tinctures. With these I think I should be careful too , too much of a seemingly good thing is not good.

mommabear0206 profile image
mommabear0206 in reply to Starrlight

That's true; even things that are meant to be beneficial can, at times, trick our bodies and stop us from dealing with things on our own and becoming too dependent on something else. Listening to your body, it will help tell you what you need and what is best for you.

LilyAnnepuppy profile image
LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Starrlight

Moderation is not a word I understand. I have an addictive personality and if one of anything makes me feel good, I want 10. But my primary addiction is alcohol and I go to AA for that. It works for me. Pay attention to Doaty’s Divert, Divert, Divert. A day (or moment) at a time.

NeuronerdDoaty profile image
NeuronerdDoaty

I have an addictive personality. I know the pull. I divert. I exercise gently; never strenuous. Those are the wrong endorphins. Walk, yoga or swim. Take a drive. Get around people who don’t have your addiction. Eat oranges. Whatever you can to divert. I shoot pool and crochet. I have grandkids I face time with. Divert divert divert. Best of luck to you.

Doaty💛

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to NeuronerdDoaty

Ok thank you, I will divert.

NeuronerdDoaty profile image
NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Starrlight

Some days I have to all day long.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to NeuronerdDoaty

Omg I’m so tempted I don’t know if I can do this. This isn’t living. Okay I have to accept that I’m feeling terrible and it will pass

NightOwl2020 profile image
NightOwl2020

Recovering alcoholic and cocaine addict here. I understand the pull you feel. The trick like many others have said is to put your energy into something else. Personally books have helped me to occupy my mind. Another good strategy is to scare yourself away from it. I don't mean like what teachers did in school. Look at the rock bottom others see before it's too late. Just know that feeding the addiction will put you in a place much much worse than anything you can feel now. I used to live in a crack house with roaches and bed bugs. I've seen people turn tricks, steal, and do anything you can think of to get another hit. You do not want to die that way. Every one of those people never thought they would live in a hell like that. If they could go back in time they would get clean just like you can do right now.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to NightOwl2020

Very thoughtful and helpful response. Thank you. I have been trying to stay sober... today is day two... (as I’ve had to start over) now I feel strong enough to keep going with it

Beau18 profile image
Beau18 in reply to Starrlight

That’s amazing honestly I was a drinker as seen my father drink but I had to make a choice when it came to it being every night, I had to say to myself “do I want my kids seeing what I did and hearing the fights and arguments and feeling very scared when parents argued “STOP” it’s that hard honestly not that easy but it is if this makes sense tired of hearing take up a hobby do something “DO THAT THING” it’s that hard, don’t give up trying always another day in failure there is success, know this stay away from the bad influence till you can be in control f change you’re life hun good luck 😉

Beau18 profile image
Beau18 in reply to NightOwl2020

Well said owl LIKE when you where a child and ye scared of dark “my son has just got released from a mental hospital after he had a break down due to substance abuse and a couple of other stresses of life itself ,

If they had of given him the video of the way he behaved inside of the hospital I feel as a mother would of helped a great deal, but he is great now on his

Way to full recovery but there will always be the temptation of this (weed) it’s everywhere so he has removed himself from the people he skinned with and has to

Make better choices his lesson learned he lost driving licence for 6 months its killing him No freedom he needs back

To work but can’t ATM so it’s about loosing everything car job family kids freedom friends FOR WHAT ????HE ASKS HIMSELF

NightOwl2020 profile image
NightOwl2020

You're very welcome. Every day is an achievement. I'm proud of you. It is going to be hard in the beginning but I know you can do it. You will have to deal with post acute withdrawal syndrome for awhile but it will get better. Do some research on it just so you are ready. Don't let it discourage you. I'm telling you this because it's why many people relapse. You just have to fight through it. Don't give up on yourself. You are worth it.

NightOwl2020 profile image
NightOwl2020

I'm sorry if I came off too strong. I just want the best for you.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to NightOwl2020

I won’t give up. Thank you so much 😊 🙏

I too struggle with addiction. My current struggle is food. Lately I’ve been “playing the tape through” meaning think past the first bite and into binge and remorse and shame.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to courageovercomfort

(((((((((Hug)))))))) let’s root for each other. We will get through.

courageovercomfort profile image
courageovercomfort in reply to Starrlight

Yes!!! One day at a time. And when that is too much for me..5 min (or 1 min) at a time.

courageovercomfort profile image
courageovercomfort in reply to Starrlight

I’m on day one again today. When (if ?!) my cravings come, going to try divert, divert, divert. 🙌🏼

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to courageovercomfort

Me too. I’m craving very badly right now but I’m still fighting.

courageovercomfort profile image
courageovercomfort in reply to Starrlight

I had a bad craving earlier. I almost caved. I’m glad it passed. It scared me.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to courageovercomfort

I’m still in this mess. Everyone okay? I can’t seem to get this right.

CanuckAnon profile image
CanuckAnon in reply to Starrlight

Do you want to talk? You sound a little overwhelmed... I’m here.....😊🌷☀️

courageovercomfort profile image
courageovercomfort in reply to Starrlight

Doing okay. It is a mess for sure. Be kind and gentle to yourself through the process.

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye

My sweet girl , This will probably be the hardest thing you will ever accomplish in your life. I think you need to do it in a way that is most comfortable and success driven for you. Having your own support group of friends and family is surely a good way to begin. I know you have therapy and perhaps meds to help. I say use anything available that will give you an edge. You are a strong and smart woman Starr and most importantly you want to recover, I hear it in everything you write. One day at a time has been repeated so often that it has lost it power, but it is still one of the most important tools you have. Do not take on more than the now. Love you sweet and good lady. Pam

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to sweetiepye

I’ve done it before for long stretches so I know I can do it again... this time for good ...yes one of the hardest things to go through... thanks for the helpful words of wisdom!

brokenlight profile image
brokenlight

Hugs and love Starrlight ✨💙✨

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to brokenlight

Thanks 😊 🙏 Brokenlight

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Thanks for sharing Melhall ... it’s a tough ride

I have an addictive personality but I did not become addicted to substances. Instead I have compulsive behavior I use obsessively to cope with anxiety. I struggle not to give in to my unhealthy coping especially when I’m tired. Almost gave in today but instead I reached out to a friend and talking with her helped fill that emotional void that drives me to my vices.

Not trying to compete but I have experienced every drug available but not heroin, opioids or crack. I truly believe it is brain chemistry and genes. We have addictive personalities: not judging but keep count of what drugs you are doing, frequency, alcohol if also imbibed. This quantifies what we are doing so we can build a plan if drug taking is what you want to kick. I am a cocaine addict but happily so. I’m 51, M, slim but these statics may show I am in the latter stages of life. But I took to it 2 years ago, can afford the horrendous costs, and yet I like it and admit I like it. Battle not reality, but admit what you like and hate and accordingly build a plan. Be a realistic because that clears the waters on the way forward to kick it if that is your decision

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Jimmychoochootiya

Im deciding if I want to kick them or not. I am thinking of making a chart to see just how often I’m taking them because sometimes I don’t keep track. Not a good sign. They help me. Some would say I’m an addict. I am living life so much easier with them so... I’ve never tried anything like cocaine and I know very little about it. I just know it used to be in the soda Coke. So at one point in time it was acceptable to take.

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