Would you want someone to love you for who you are OR who you pretend to be?.
People can hide themselves well. They think willingly being open is a forbidden thing. Its perfectly normal to be cautious and put up a shield when you've been hurt so many times. Or is it normal?
God knows I did, myself for so long i might've actually forgotten the person i am to the person i was pretending to be.
Now i know there isnt anything wrong with me being myself (even if the world doesn't like it or can't accept it) Then so be it, I'm not being anyone else, just because society has set expectations to which they think i need to fulfill.
I wish the people closes to me were aware how much i'm thankful for them. I wish i had the power to make them happy, but i can never do that when i'm miserable. Having the understanding of feeling such ways makes me more compassionate towards others.
I need to remind myself for how far i've come and how i got through the moments i thought were going to be the death of me.
They say 'Our thoughts are our biggest demons'
To change or break the negative thoughts cycle is one of the challenges i still continue to do, even after doing it over and over for the billionth time.
I wrote this at the age of 17. And i don't know whether to be a little sad or proud.
Written by
Shanm2
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People should love you for who you are. I am 66 and have been through a lot. If people don't love you for who you are, that's their problem not yours. Don't conform to what others want you to be, just be yourself. If they can't or won't at least try to understand, maybe it's time you let them go. I will personally not pretend I am someone I'm not. Stay true to yourself; you will be happier in the end.
You should be proud of how far you came and how wise you have become!! Sounds like you've been through some rough times yourself but have emerged better than before.
Hope you continue to do well and remember, we're all not going to be ok all the time and that's ok..
So glad I was able to help you! It's always nice to have people that understand and can validate our feelings. I am doing somewhat better, but haven't been feeling well so missed 2 weeks of TMS(transcranial magnetic stimulation, a treatment for depression, not sure if I mentioned it before). Hoping to go back tomorrow. It's 5x/week for 7 weeks and I need to finish up. Hoping to get back to my old self, or close to it...
It is really important to not only feel listened to, but also met with understanding and validation, i agree! I'm glad you feel a little better but i hope you feel well enough to continue your treatment for tomorrow.Have you found the TMS helpful?
Sometimes getting back to who we used to be or feel can be difficult.. Afterall life, and pain changes people. But if the goal is to be happier or more content with life/yourself then i wish that for you!!
I had two rounds of TMS last year and felt great for about 6 months after each. It literally saved my life the 2nd round , not sure I'd still be here had I not gotten it. This round my response time has been slower but at least helped a little so far. I've been dealing with GI issues and that is what kept me from going for 2 weeks. At the moment this morning my stomach feels ok enough to go, but last night stomach pain woke me up. Will have to take it day by day. As far as getting back to my old self, if I get close to it I will be happy. It is difficult dealing with depression and other health issues at the same time, have done it before...Will keep you posted
Oh i see, I'm so happy that it has helped you and potentially saved your life, it can take years to find the right treatment/medication plan for oneself and it seems you have found the best one for you! I hope your stomach was okay to go for the appointment that day.
Thats all we can do, take day by day
I really wish for you to get to a place or close to your old self where you feel happy. Also i can really relate with dealing with health issues and depression, it can be challenging at times but i like that you ended it with you've done it before
I am finally on my last few treatments of TMS, thank goodness! Would've been done by now had I not been sick. I am not, however satisfied with my results as I was the first two rounds last year. Though I am better, I am still depressed(though not severely) and frustrated with the results. I don't necessarily expect to totally back to my 'old' self but I'm not even close and it's upsetting. Had a discussion with my doc last week about what to do to keep me stable between episodes; one of many of the same conversation. Frustrating because he would like to see me on something but I've become treatment resistant to meds and the older I get it seems the episodes are more frequent. This present one is one of the longest I've had. It brings me down knowing that. Told my therapist don't know how many more of these I can go through. Not sure I'd do TMS again, especially since it didn't work very well this time...... Hope you're doing well!!
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Why is it so difficult to just not suffer? 
The voice in my head won't stop
Detaching myself from the world
Dealing with negative self talk
Self-blame and low self-esteem
