Im nobody. Insignificant. Everyone is fed up of me. Im not important to anyone. Im a burden. The last choice. The 1 nobody wants in the team

[Against_the_current]

My unimates would watch me die and do nothing. Ppl in my country would throw me under the train and watch. Not even watch because im not that important. My "friends" are giving up on me because im traumatized. Everyone is always like "get a therapist, get a psychiatrist". I have a psychiatrist and two therapists, i need a friend! I need someone to care. Not to see me as a burden. "You're never okay". Do you think i like it, Karen?! Do you think i enjoy depression? "Everyone has problems". Yes but you're a damn psychology student , you should know the difference between "everyday problems" and family abuse and chrinic mental illness, Ralica. They give up on me because I have anxiety and depression. That's not my fault. What should I do? - Give myself a lobotomy?! Shoot my family? Erase my memory? I need human connection to recover. And im being cutted off it because i have issues. And i have issues because im cutted off it. I am loyal, i would return the favour. And I don't need them to repair me. Just being there is enough. But noo, they gotta ignore me or call me annoying. I would die just for someone to care about me. I would die just to receive a flower.

[Starrlight]

here is love 💕 from me that I know you deserve and flowers 💐 beautiful like you are

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you ❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

You are very welcome. You can pm me any time or chat right here.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks

[hypercat54]

Who is Karen?

[Against_the_current in reply to hypercat54]

Random name

[SoporRose]

I wonder if you might have more luck making friends with people who are a little older than you, who are more mature than your uni-mates. Most people can still be fairly self-consumed in their early twenties; perhaps someone with more life-experience who is more settled in life would be more capable of understanding your situation. I'm not suggesting you make friends with people who over a hundred or anything like that, but someone closer to thirty might be a better match for your mind. Does that makes sense?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

It does actually. My only friend from university is 27 and so is my friend that got that accident. Woah 27 is a hard age for real. But even when i was a kid i didn't make friends with my classmates (i was bullied a lot , even just had my ptsd nightmares about school) and then when i felt too alone i would go outside to the playground in front of the block and talk to some of the moms there. But i don't think I can do that now

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

It doesn't surprise me that you sought out adults as a child. The bullying makes me sick for you; it's terrible the way so many kids are taught that to torment kids who are already suffering. Maybe that's a direction in which you could take your career, working to prevent bullying in schools.

Will you have a break this summer when you'll have time to find a job and meet some people that way?

[Brokenbeardedbear]

You make lots of sense and you are very articulate. Im so sorry you are struggling to find what you need. We all deserve unconditional love, including you. Please dont ever lower your standards because there is nothing wrong in what you yearn for. I understand because I too have yearned for this so so much. Since humans often let us down (myself included in that) I learnt to find what I need in the only place I know makes sense to me. I really hope you find love. I know its there and I know you deserve it.

[Against_the_current in reply to Brokenbeardedbear]

Thank you! So do you x