So many decisions

[Dolphfan47]

So much going on and so many decisions to make. I don’t even know where to start with my story. I have to make so many difficult decisions it’s not even funny and I have no idea on where to begin. My life is so messed up right now and my anxiety is not getting any better. I am now on two different medications to try to keep it under control. I suck at making decisions because I don’t want to make the wrong one. My major decision is if I should leave my husband or if I should stay and try to work things out.. I have so much hurt from the things that he has done and continues on doing to me that some days I want to leave and give up and other days I want to stay and work things out because I do love him we have a child together and have been together for 5 years. But I don’t know if I can get over the hurt. So many things to think about and so little support where I live I have been told I live in what they call a “support desert” which really sucks. I just don’t know what to do.

[Kelkel00]

I would say, try to exhaust all options before divorce. Counseling, separation, etc to try and make it work. At least for the sake of your child.

But if it’s related to abuse or adultry, my opinion would be vastly different.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Kelkel00]

Thank you for you advice yes there has been abuse (physical, verbal and mental) the physical has stopped because he has stopped drinking but the other still happen daily. Yes their has been adultry every day he decided that he had to bring in another woman into our marriage and now they have two kids together. That’s just the beginning of my story. It just sucks because I see how much he loves her ( more than me) when I call him out on that he denies that. When she came into the marriage he basically stopped touching me put me on the back burner threw me away. Now almost two years in he is suddenly touching me again and expecting me to forgive him for what he did. It’s a lot I just am at a loss. I don’t know what to do.

[Hidden]

I agree with Kekel00! It all depends on the ways that you have been hurt. As a mom, I always hoped and wanted my kids to be raised by their mom and their dad, together, in a loving supportive family. (Fortunately, for me, this did happen because I married someone extremely supportive and mellow). BUT, also as mom, I was extremely protective of my kids and their well being, security, and happiness. If my hubby had threatened that in a way that was inexcusable or harmful to me, or them, I’d have been gone in a split second without a second thought. It all depends on your circumstances, and what’s best for you and your child’s well being. Sometimes the fear of making the wrong decision keeps us making any decision. Listen to your gut and think about your child first. I wish you all the best in this trying time.❤️

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for you advice yes there has been abuse (physical, verbal and mental) the physical has stopped because he has stopped drinking but the other still happen daily. Yes their has been adultry every day he decided that he had to bring in another woman into our marriage and now they have two kids together. That’s just the beginning of my story. It just sucks because I see how much he loves her ( more than me) when I call him out on that he denies that. When she came into the marriage he basically stopped touching me put me on the back burner threw me away. Now almost two years in he is suddenly touching me again and expecting me to forgive him for what he did. It’s a lot I just am at a loss. I don’t know what to do.

[Hidden]

Well, that being said, I would say it’s time to make the decision to move on. Could he possibly stop drinking for good, forever? Maybe. But even so, you’ve already been put in an impossible situation with way more baggage than you probably ever bargained for. Don’t make excuses for him either as you’re making these decisions. Unfortunately, the probability is high that he will return to his old ways. This is not right for you and especially for your child. Kids “feel” what’s going on. It will eventually weigh you down to a point that could be way worse than today. Please consider a life for yourself and your child only. You two deserve to live in peace and find happiness without conditions. Always here for you.🙏❤️

[Kelkel00 in reply to Hidden]

Agree with this advice wholeheartedly! Time to move on for the sake of your child and YOUR well being!