This sounds weird but I haven’t reached out about this topic since I was 16, now 22.
I think I am depressed. I have struggled with self harm and generally doing everything for self destruction since I was 13. I am much better now, I don’t hurt myself anymore but I still have weeks and days were I just feel nothing but this immense weight on me that nothing matters and I have no energy to leave my room for a shower.
My parents hate therapists and generally are opposed to seeing one and since we live together, I can’t really bring myself to see anyone.
So what I really want to ask is how do you cope? How can I at least shorten those episodes? Maybe I’m not even depressed and just complaining, I don’t know but I just wanted to reach out if anyone feels the same and handles it better than I do.
Sorry for rambling, not sure how to do this tbh
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I don't have a diagnosis either. I struggle with self harm. Getting some professional help would probably be a good idea, can you find anything online? Or something you can sit in the garden and have a phone/video call or messaging conversation?
Also creating positive experience to look forward to helps me. As well as sensory stuff.
That is something I need to look into. I have stopped self harming when I realized that my pain wouldn’t determine me anymore and I shouldn’t take it out on myself but it’s a struggle and I hope you can manage to overcome it. And thank you for writing.
I am interested in trying out your idea. Can you -- I know this varies from person to person, but -- tell me what ideas have worked for you to plan creating a positive experience? Mired in depression, nothing comes to mind for me.
I have to say I'm struggling to find stuff at the moment with COVID. But things I would normally do is weekly therater group, 1/2 monthly meetings with a county disability action group. Meeting up with freinds or family. Visiting a cafe or garden centre. Trips on holiday - but more about the activities I would do there for example visit the Eden project, go to a theme park ect. Summer activities like a camp or big holiday as well as extended family holidays or seeing people I don't often get to see. Going out for a meal to celebrate something (usual like 3+ times in a year), disability pride I was going to go to. Trips to musumes, libaries, therters, ice skating, horse riding,
I know for some people they like the lay on the beach the whole time kinda holiday or restrunt and that kinda thing but I prefer visiting heritage places, learning and activites.
Tbh I dont know how to cope well either. I currently just try to focus on distracting myself when I’m down and then when I come back up again, I’ll try to practice certain things that’ll make me feel better so that next time I have an episode, I feel more prepared to cope with it. I’ve also read that making a list of things that make you feel better (like exercise, cooking, reading, art, etc) and then trying to go through that list when you’re depressed could help.
I also agree with the other comment about trying to find some online or phone/video call therapy that you can do without your parents knowing. Therapy is your best bet for long term getting better. I do a lot go online reading because there are really good websites that other people will post their methods. If you want, sometimes online screening websites can help with peace of mind. Here’s one that I found helpful.
Thank you so much. Just feels like I’m not entirely alone with this when others feel the same even though I wish they wouldn’t obviously. But distracting has been my priority, especially working out seems to take my mind off of things
Sorry to hear you are finding this hard, perhaps chats with a friend and a trusted GP at your practice might help? It sometimes helps to look at the practice details online and see if any of them specialise in mental health. I’m pretty sure it’s standard that you can ask to see any specific doctor. Also exercise - try and get out for a walk if you can - even if you haven’t showered (we have to keep 2m apart anyway right?!) take care xx
Thank you for writing. I didn’t know that much about online solutions but I have to look that up. And working out is really the only thing that distracts me right now!
I agree with the posts recommending some kind of tele therapy. It can be really hard to find ways to cope without professional help. Dialoguing with people on here, or even just reading others' posts, can be helpful. A great app I have used on occasion is called Mindshift, though that is geared more towards anxiety. There are also apps for mindfulness and meditation. Physical activity is also very helpful along with talking to trusted friends.
First of all, thank you for reaching out. I have a similar story, but I turn 50 this year and my family still doesn't know I have seen a therapist. Not telling then started as shame, I never believed they would understand. I encourage you to find a way to do it anyway. Maybe start in a group meeting. Everyone is tele-health for appointments right now. You may need to try a few different ones. Ask for someone who will push you to dig deep. There are some online symptom checkers. If this has started before the COVID19 isolation and has persisted this long, I would say start with your family doctor and ask specifically about what you described. Good luck, my friend.
Hello I am going through almost the same thing as you, my depression is only mild but I do have some days where I feels terrible but if your parents do not believe in therapists I strongly suggest calling a hotline or even texting one because it really helps to just talk about it if I feel depressed I will just text the hotline and poor out all my feelings to a hotline, bless you ( or whatever u believe in) I hope you get help because I’m going through it also and I know it is very difficult
Thank you to all that have written. Not sure if I can reply to everyone but thank you for helping me and especially for listening. Today is a good day and mostly because after yesterday, I don’t feel like I’m struggling alone
Hi, sorry to hear this burden you have had for so many years! To look on the positive side, you feel like you are much better now and are less likely to inflict self-harm. When you feel depressed and heavy with no energy, I know it can feel a real struggle to even get out bed. But, whenever you are feeling a bit more energetic, try and get up, go for a walk or chat with friends.
When you feel like depression coming on again, you can think of some activity that would bring you joy or keep your mind occupied in other ways. Cooking, baking, art, writing.....is there anything that you like doing or creating? And helping other people who may be going through similar issues may also be an option. So, your mind is then onto other things. I feel breathing deep and exercising or simple stretches also helps.
Since you are spending time indoors, it would be a good time to seek online therapy from a trusted source/trained professionals. Talking lets you get things off your chest. There are therapists and trained counselors who can help you in your situation. For example, when you call this number (855-382-5433), someone can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor. Or even if you need to talk to a neutral person and get some encouragement.....All the best.
I am sorry that you are struggling! I believe that is necessary that you get therapy. See what you can do about that. Dealing with a mental illness alone is not easy. I have struggled with depression for years and I try to go out for walks and volunteer to help myself. Also, I listen to sermons online. It's very good that you are working out. Physical activity helps a lot, I've been told. It's wonderful also that you are reaching out to others here. But I would insist on getting therapy.
My words are coming from my heart and I want you to know that although I don’t know you, I care about you and truly feel for you. I like to think I don’t suffer from depression but I’ve been affected by it for sure. Whether I do suffer from it or not, it’s truly truly does not matter to me. Depression can be self inflicted and enhanced if we choose to make it that way.
You. You. You. Think about that word for just a moment. You. What exactly does that mean to You. Again. What’s does that mean to You. You is the key word. If you didn’t know how to answer that question, don’t do what I have in the past and feel bad, angry, ashamed or anything. Acknowledge that instead and look into it. It’s like getting an assignment in English class. Here’s a topic you don’t know shit about. Find out more about it and teach me or inform me about it.
I am 27 and only barely learning about Me. Take the definition out of these words and they fall in the same category with each other, You and Me. Put the definition back on them and that’s when we differ from each Other. At the end of the day, we are the same, no matter how different the definition makes us. It’s why I’m able to relate with you and tell you all these things.
I can picture my old self from your words. And now that isn’t a bad thing. It’s a great thing actually, you have no idea how hard it is to do what you’re doing right now. Reaching out and finding out what’s going on. Good freaking job dude!!
I managed to get past my deep depression episode by doing everything I never saw myself doing because I was too scared to do them. The fear in doing those things was bigger than the fear of being in fear.
I am saddened by your words when you talk of self harm. Dude, You are the most important person today, tomorrow, and the many many more days after that. You hold too much importance and so much value that is being kept away from you to see because of your depression.
Try this, instead of responding to all this with fear. Respond with solutions in mind, even if they don’t come immediately or at all. Just think about what the word “solution” means and let your mind wander a moment with the thought and if still nothing comes, hey, it’s totally fine dude! It’s normal and you get facts for yourself that you might be in a serious depression state. Everything still, is ok. Things have never been better, you’re a strong person and have the capacity for so much. We all do. Don’t waste your days with your mind in self harm, invest it in “solutions”
What is your solution for making this depression your bitch and re-gaining control? You know, you really do, you just have to look for the answer. Learn to appreciate yourself and find the power your inner self dialogue has on you. You own, control, are, will always be, You. Your inner self dialogue, is, You.
Thanks for “rambling” 😜 I’m so proud of you for taking the hardest step and reaching out. Remember and never forget that everyone, including myself, loves you dude. You mean so much and can and will make it through!
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So tired of fighting this
Why are families so difficult?
I’m so tired of hurting
So many brick walls..
