I can't shake it

[nonova1]

My girlfriend passed away 11 months ago and even with meds I can't shake this depression I have.

I'm on 50 mgs prozac 700mg lamotrigene, 25mg hydroxine. I also take olanoxipine. I have ambien for sleep. I don't know HOW to get past this. She died on a full moon, so every full moon I'm reminded. My dr. has tired me on a variety of different meds but even this combination isn't working. This is not LIFE. I'm soon to be 68. I constantly think about dying and I'm on kidney dialysis. I'm anxious for this to be over. This end of life is hard on me.

[Blueruth]

I am sorry for your loss. It takes a long time. She must have meant a lot to you.

I have yet to see drugs "cure" anyone's depression. They are one tool in the tool chest. If this is situational (triggered by your girlfriends passing) then healing is much more likely as long as you work on the basics. Those are therapy, nutrition, exercise, meditation. Many, many people your age have found a second life if you will through a mindful practice like meditation or yoga.

I don't know anything about those other meds but for lamictal for a long time I couldn't take it at night because it kept me up. They say drowsiness is a side effect but it made me agitated which is another side effect. 700 seems astonishingly high for depression at 1 year of treatment tbh.

[Dolphin14]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Grief has its own time frame. It can be a very long painful process. I understand how you are feeling. I've had many losses

I went to a grief support group after my sister died. Do you have any interest in something like that? I wonder if anything is available in your area?

🐬

[nonova1 in reply to Dolphin14]

There's no support group here. Thank you.

[Dolphin14 in reply to nonova1]

I'm sorry

[Dolphin14 in reply to nonova1]

We do have a bereavement site on HU

[Agora1 in reply to Dolphin14]

I didn't know that Dolphin14, thank you for letting us know xx

[kenster1 in reply to nonova1]

hi the forum here is called bereavement care and share small but great little community sorry for your loss.

[Kelkel00]

I’m so very sorry for the unimaginable pain you are feeling.

I don’t have any advice but if it’s ok, I’ll say a prayer for you!

[nonova1 in reply to Kelkel00]

I believe in prayer. It's not His time for me but I'm hurting.