Slowly losing faith again…

[DangLifeisHell]

I just returned back to work after 8 months of taking a break. After working 10 plus years and burnt myself out, while losing myself in the process. It’s only my third week in. I work with special needs kids and feel very overwhelmed. I’m so thankful my boss decreased my workload but I still feel like maybe I am not meant to do this anymore. I lack motivation to keep on going really. I have no hobbies. I just moved to a new state. Idk. I am thankful and better then where I was before. But I wish I could just be happy again. Oh how I wish to be young and free again.

[73Fender]

You just did two of the hardest things you can do: move and start a new job. It's OK to be overwhelmed, especially in your line of work! I started a new job in April and it's pretty horrible, actually. Do you have people you can talk to about it (besides here)?

Wishing you all the best.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to 73Fender]

No I don’t really have anyone besides here :/ thank you for responding. I’m sorry your job is horrible. Hoping it gets better?

[73Fender in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Just keep talking here. And thank you.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to 73Fender]

I appreciate the support. Here to support you as well!

[optimismrus]

73Fender's right. But as a retired teacher I feel your pain. I quit after 9 yrs. I decided that losing my sense of humor and feeling overwhelmed by the lack of respect from students was a recipe for disaster. That being said, I loved teaching until that last year. Maybe it's time for you to think about what you'd like to do next. While you deserve a medal for working with special needs kids, your peace of mind needs to take center stage. You can continue to teach while exploring other areas of interest. Be patient and kind to yourself, you are going thru an especially stressful time. Best wishes 😍

[DangLifeisHell in reply to optimismrus]

I’ve been trying to find out what to do next and can’t seem to figure it out as it seems nothing brings me joy anymore. Even during my break and traveling my joy only lasted in that moment and would disappear. Which I know happiness isn’t meant to last forever. I just miss being a very joyful person and positive. Now as I’ve gotten older and experience that this is life of endless repetition of working, cleaning, and just surviving through the day. I don’t want to grow old as it just seems like a long journey of the same old tasks. I feel the more I think about it the more hopeful less I feel that it won’t get better than this. I’m bored and have no motivation but just to keep trying to stay alive as the days pass. Granted I am luckier then most to have been able to take a break and travel. I just feel bleak about everything.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to DangLifeisHell]

So what do you do now? Or what did you decide to do after you quit? Haha I just want an easy job that won’t drain me out.

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

I went back to my job that I had. I was out on medical leave, so I still had a job to go back to. I am now starting to feel like my old self, but some days are better than others. My birds keep me busy when I get home in the afternoons, and they bring me lots of joy. I love to work in my yard, but it has been too hot to do anything out there!

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Yeah my two frenchies keep me busy! Love them so much and they are what keep me staying alive. But yes it has been too hot to enjoy anything outside.

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Sorry I haven't been on the site for a few days. I went and saw my mom on Saturday at the nursing home. She just went in on that Thursday, and it was kinda hard on me and my daughter. Mom is doing good in there, but I still worry about her, she is 91 and has dementia, and an eye problem. I am doing ok so far, but it is only Tuesday!😃

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Hey it’s a good start. You saw your mom and although it’s hard, at least she has extra set of eyes to support and care for her. It’s okay to worry, because she is your mom. But at least she has people who care for her in her life rather than forget her existence. 91 is up there! So that’s pretty amazing she is still around.

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Yeah, her mom lived to be 97, so I guess our family has good genes, at least I hope so.

I plan on going back this weekend to see her. How has you week been going for you?

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Wow 97! Yeah idk if I want to live that long haha sadly but true. That’s great you can make time to see her frequently. I haven’t seen my family in two months. And it will be several months from now until I plan to see them again sadly. Since u moved several states away from them due to finances. I’ve been okay. Working part time and thankful my load isn’t crazy right now. But bummed my husband still hasn’t started work yet. And a bit worried. As we moved here because he got the job offer. How was/is your week going?

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

I am doing ok. My place of work is getting new copy machines, so that is always a big hassle, but the new ones are supposed to be very similar. My birds have been doing great, but always so messy. I still love them to the moon and back!

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Haha yeah anything new can always be hectic trying to figure out. How many birds do you have and what type of birds?

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

I have three, a blue head pionus, a Quaker parakeet, and a Ducorps Cockatoo. The two small ones are each 24 years old, and the cockatoo will be 23 years old in September.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Wow did you have all them for their entire lives?

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

The two little ones were raised from infants. My ex and I were breeding parrots, and these two were our babies from two breeding pairs we had. I got the cockatoo when he was 11, so I have had him for twelve years now, and he is a joy. Charlie can get nippy at times, and he is loud when he wants attention, but overall he is a wonderful addition to my family. Do you have pets too??????????

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Wow that’s pretty awesome! I have two French bull dogs. One is very easy going while the other one we like to say he is very special haha. His nick name is Mr.Grumps/Bi Polar haha

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

For the people who don't like animals, I just feel sorry for them. They bring so much joy and happiness to our lives. My guys all have their own personalities, likes and dislikes, and so loveable. I am sure your dogs do too!

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Most definitely! My dogs are my kids since I can’t bear children. They both have their own character for sure and I love them so much for it. I couldn’t live without them that is for sure. They keep me going. I’m glad we have animals in our lives that we can love and I am sure they appreciate it too. Haha

[Starrlight in reply to DangLifeisHell]

I can relate a bit. I used to work with special needs children too. And I’m focusing on my thoughts working towards finding joy in the little things and to stop worrying for the day. We will get there I believe… in knowing what we want… I’m just focusing on being good to myself and I think things will fall into place Very best to you.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Starrlight]

Same trying to find little joy here and there. And being appreciative that it could be worse. Hoping things fall into place for us and wishing you the best as well.

[Starrlight in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Thank you. I believe we can do it.

[val11 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

I was a teacher and took about seven years to find another passion. I actually miss the kids and am thinking of returning. Adults can be worse! You probably lost passion because of depression. I wouldn't make any rash decisions in this state.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to val11]

Yeah I worked with adults prior to working with kids and they were just rude/racist. But kids you can’t blame them haha and bring you laughter here and there too. Yeah I lost my passion due to depression for sure.

[casablancalover14]

I know how you feel. I was out of the work place for about six weeks. Then I went back to work for two days, and knew I had come back too soon. I was getting anxiety so bad that I didn't want to go out anywhere. I gradually started out by doing short trips, and that really helped. I hope your day gets better for you. Please let me know how you are doing! ☺️🙂😍

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

I did try working out for a few days. That helped my energy level a bit. I keep thinking back, idk how was able to do it before. I’ve changed so much. And just want a slow and happy life. Before I worked Monday-Sunday 8am to 8pm, skipping meals, and just caring for others. Granted they made progress but I completely loss myself in the process. Basically sucked the life out of me. Being secluded traveling with my husband for 8 months definitely gave me more anxiety returning. Trying to take it one day at a time. But now have a hard time sleeping thinking I am failing these kids and my boss. As I thought this is what I was meant to do. But idk if I can anymore. Going to keep pushing until I can find something else. Hopefully soon though.

[casablancalover14 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

That was a hectic work schedule. I am glad you took time off and traveled with your husband. Take your time, and hopefully you will find something you enjoy doing. I only sleep about six hours a night, but sometimes I too have trouble falling asleep. It's like my brain doesn't want to shut down. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Sending prayers your way, and I am always here to listen.🥰🤩🙂

[DangLifeisHell in reply to casablancalover14]

Thank you for listening! Yeah I hate that our minds can keep us up and be so busy.

[Tacoblue]

Getting hobbies/ joining groups is a great way to meet new people, it will lessen your depression. You may want to get a therapist who can talk, and maybe prescribe an anti depressant. It may be time for a career change, which is scary. My cousin was a weatherman for 20 years, got burned out, and became a dentist

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Tacoblue]

Yeah it’s just so hot where we moved to, it’s so hard to do anything during the day. As I would love to get back into pickle ball, but husband is usually tired by the end of the day even through he doesn’t work right now to go with me. And I am trying to make friends at work. I don’t have health insurance right now, but therapy did help when I had someone to talk to. And I am trying out a new anti depressant this is my third time trying something else. It always seems to work at first or possibly the placebo affect and then I get down again. I especially get down when I am not succeeding. I have been trying to figure out a career change and it has been very scary. I almost just want to work at Walmart or target but read reviews it’s shitty. So idk.

[Michaeldym]

I can certainly relate. I am a passionate holistic veterinarian of 30 years experience and ran into the wall literally almost 4 years ago with burnout. Been struggling ever since and recently had to take medical leave. Keep up your hard work and connection to God or a higher power. It’s not easy as I can attest to with trust and faith.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Michaeldym]

Wow 30 years is a long time though! Kudos to you for barely hitting the wall. I am glad you took medical leave to take care of yourself. I hope you’re doing better. And yes! I believe in God and been trying hard to bring my connection to something stronger.

[Teaching]

It's exhausting to work with special needs kids. Take care of yourself

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Teaching]

It truly isn’t, especially when dealing with my own mental health and well being. I just have to remind myself I am only one person and at least I am trying.

[Hidden in reply to DangLifeisHell]

It sounds like helping others helps you, and it does get exhausting. You're doing more than trying you're succeeding!

[Vonus5591]

There is book 'Kids beyond Limits' by Anat Baniel that may help or not, I'm not sure

But gave me alot of hope and inspired me to do more with my kid

About Special needs kids

[Hidden]

You sound young and free! You even wanting to help shows you have more drive than most. Thank you for trying, theirs a lot of people here it looks like that appreciate you!

I'm sure the same goes where you are too, it would be pretty hard for people not to care about people working in a field you do.

Here's to another day

[majones_0608]

I also had temporarily been slowly losing my faith for a while years ago, but after leaving my ex-husband. He was verbally abusive and me not hardly being able to work much at the time did not exactly help the situation. I worked for a little while but soon was referred to as a job jumper, but the people that thought that did not have the faintest clue about my mental health and did NOT seem to care that there was a reason for it. Eventually, after leaving him, I stopped working all together. Now I am on SSI from the government and am in counseling and am taking medication. However, I regained my strong faith and now pray most days and occasionally read my Bible and devotionals. I will pray that you regain your faith.