"don't do it"

[sad_watermelon]

How do I keep myself from texting someone who doesn't deserve my attention? I am so attached to each of my friends, but he was also an ex, so it makes the attachment even bigger.

I want him to text first now. He enjoys chatting, but it's mostly me starting the conversation.

I am struggling right now, because I really want to chat with him, but I am forcing myself not to text first.

[gajh]

I have two friends who are having trouble keeping from texting people from their past. I tell them to send me the text instead of to that person. Do you think that might help you? You still get to send the text, just not to that person.

[sad_watermelon in reply to gajh]

I'm just wondering if I really have a person to send it to. I have very few close friends - one of them is really busy working, the other one almost never replies or does it in a few days and the third one is going through a lot right now and I don't want to bother them

[gajh in reply to sad_watermelon]

It is not about the person receiving your text. It is about you getting to send your text. So it doesn't matter on their end. If they aren't available, it doesn't matter to you.

[CLB1125 in reply to gajh]

Make a folder and name it to be sent later. Write the text then save it in the folder. Some time in the future read them and see if you really want to still send it.

[Mskitty21 in reply to CLB1125]

I like this one… it’s like journaling but you’re talking to another person. Good way to release the thoughts 😊

[hypercat54]

Trauma bonding?

[casablancalover14]

I understand how you feel. I will text my friend, and he will answer, but it's usually me who starts the conversation. Sometimes I feel like it's a useless cause, but I love to hear back from him. Try to stay positive, and maybe start a new hobby. I am thinking about yoga!😀

[bethelbee]

I used to write a letter to someone but in my journal and go back and read it later to see if I wanted to actually send it. The answer was usually no. I felt why should I bother if I'm always initiating. The one time I did decide to send a letter was to a lifelong friend(of over 50 years) who had really hurt me during a depressive episode. (She had always been supportive before that) It was to tell her how much she hurt me and to send her information on how to support a friend during depression. I never heard back from her. Took me a while but I'm finally over the hurt. She had been my best friend since 7th grade.