I can't shake it

[nonova1]

My girlfriend passed away 11 months ago and even with meds I can't shake this depression I have.

I'm on 50 mgs prozac 700mg lamotrigene, 25mg hydroxine. I also take olanoxipine. I have ambien for sleep. I don't know HOW to get past this. She died on a full moon, so every full moon I'm reminded. My dr. has tired me on a variety of different meds but even this combination isn't working. This is not LIFE. I'm soon to be 68. I constantly think about dying and I'm on kidney dialysis. I'm anxious for this to be over. This end of life is hard on me.