Why can't I recover

[9Aurelius]

It seems like I will never get passed all that has happened. It just feels like I'm stuck in the mud and I can not get out. On meds or off I pretty much feel worthless. Much of this I do believe is in dealing with an emotionally abusive relationship. She has moved on but I still have to deal with her, unfortunately. I'm so tired all I can think of now is I just need to get the kids through school. I can't really enjoy anything I'm just burnt out. Lonely and broken but I should be happy I'm in a good position in life.

[Hidden]

Take one day at a time.focus on today.try to forget about the past .it's hard i know.i will be praying for you and your family.try to find a good caring dr.have you tried medication ? contact me anytime.be will.Tony

[9Aurelius in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, yes I have been on and off of meds. I keep second guessing the meds am I better or worse I really don't know.

[Hidden]

Hi. Our situations sound a little different,but I do have experience in feeling stuck. I think it helps to try not to look at the big picture for a little bit, and not do life evaluations for the time being. Just look at the day in front of you. Is there something you can find engaging and that you can complete? Start small. I'm going to read my Russian language text for 30 minutes, its hard for me, but it becomes engrossing. And getting engrossed in something thats not tearing down my self-worth, and is in fact building it a little, is good.

[9Aurelius in reply to Hidden]

Hi,

Thank you I will

[Sadlady21]

Hi

I understand where u are coming from, having to deal with any sort of emotional trauma is so difficult, I think at the time u just sort of try and get through it, then u think u are OK but it comes back to bite u, I am at that stage now I think, very emotional about a past event that I thought I was coping with but turns out I'm not, it's very mentally draining and atm I'm not sure I will ever feel happy again.

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

Hi,

Thank you. Yes, you described it. I wonder if I will ever feel happiness again. I'm sorry you are suffering.

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

I'm thinking the same thing as well, we can always talk on here and try and keep each other company, it certainly helps to speak to people who are going thru the same thing

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

Sure, that sounds good

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

Hopefully we can help each other, at the moment I'm struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel, I break down during the day which is really annoying for me, I just have this horrible feeling that if I start to feel happy then something will come along to change that, I wonder if that's how I've got into this situation, if I stay unhappy then if anything happens I'll already be there. Does that make sense or sound familiar to u

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

Yes, I feel like I can't relax and enjoy things. What triggers you? I think I way overthink and make it worse than it is in my head. I do have a hard time functioning at times and need to be alone and catch my breath. Yea I panic

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

Unfortunately my triggers are myself, I also way over think things, what if this happens or what if that happens and then it just gets out of hand, I always think worst case scenario or I think we'll yeah so nothing bad has happened today but I've got to get through tomorrow and something bad might happen then, it's a vicious circle that I just can't seem to get out of atm. What about u?

[Tweety42 in reply to Sadlady21]

I feel the same way

[Sadlady21 in reply to Tweety42]

Hi

It's really awful isn't it, I'm normally a positive person, or at least I was in the past, all that seems to have gone now and I'm not the same person I was, what happened to my son changed all that and there is nothing I can do about it. What is it u are struggling with atm

[Tweety42 in reply to Sadlady21]

Yes it is awful. I am unipolar and used to be positive too. My husband tells me I am negative all the time. What happened with your son?

[Sadlady21 in reply to Tweety42]

hi

he was abused when he was a child, I knew nothing of this until a few years ago and the amount of guilt I feel for not protecting him is overwhelming, he copes very well but I just fell apart, my heart was broken and its never healed. he is my world and I didn't protect him when I should have. my husband is really good but he copes by not thinking about it, I cant seem to do that mainly because I feel like I need to take some responsibility for what happened to him. my hubby says ive changed and he can see I struggle but he doesn't know how to help, that's not his fault and I don't blame him. can you say what causes your feelings or are they to painful to talk about, I know mine are

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

My family has fallen victim to the opioid crises among other issues. It has been Many years of problem after problem thank God we are no longer together. What happened to your son?

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

can I ask you a bit more about your bad times if that is ok, you don't have to tell me anything if it is far to painful

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

It's a long story I may be more comfortable in a private message. But it's started years ago when my wife was caught cheating. It was with my best friend that I grew up with. Also, I worked with him. That took a lot out of me. I lost my world that day. That was life-changing I was trapped and had no way out at that time.

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

That's so terrible I'm really sorry, we can speak in a private msg if it's more comfortable for u, I'm not sure how to do that though but u probably do as I haven't navigated around the site yet

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

I did send you a message. I used the message button at the bottom of the home screen on my cell. Then entered your screen name to send a message. My first time using it.

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

Yes I received it, did u get my reply in the private msg as well

[9Aurelius in reply to Sadlady21]

I have a pit in my stomach like pending doom all the time any more. I also think worst case scenario all the time .

[Sadlady21 in reply to 9Aurelius]

exactly the same as me, it just seems to follow me around, when I wake up it just feels like a massive weight that I just cant get rid of. the one thing that I do force myself to do is listen to music even when I don't feel like it, that may sound like a daft thing to say but it does make me feel better sometimes. I wrote about my son in the post above, very painful but if I'm not honest then I don't think I will ever recover, or at least try to

[Bluetj]

Wow, u just describe me. I started going thru this almost 27 years ago. It lasted about a year, then it was gone. It started back up in 2016 & I've been dealing with this every since. I don't know up from down, left from right, everything is one big blur. Crazy part is, it all really started when I moved. But I now live where I have always wanted to live, I have a good job, the house I've been blessed with is exactly what I prayed for with extras. Prayers have been answered, but I am miserable. I am on meds & seeing therapist, have been in a behavioral health facility twice but nothing seems to help. I guess if I knew what my anxiety & depression was about, I would at least have somewhere to start. It's so dark n this hole!! 😭😭😭😭

[Sadlady21 in reply to Bluetj]

yes this hole is so very dark sometimes and lonely, people do sometimes say, what is wrong with u, u have everything u want but it doesn't work like that does it.

[Bluetj in reply to Sadlady21]

If only it did....

[HeyHarlie]

I've been in a couple abusive relationships. They can wreak havoc on your emotions. It can take awhile to recover from them and even begin to feel normal again. Try to find yourself again and find things that interest you or people to talk to. Still having to deal with the person makes it difficult but you will get past it eventually and start to feel better for being out of that situation.