I'm really frustrated at my friends and they don't understand why and im too sensetive to explain but they always do me wrong. Plus what to

[Against_the_current]

What to eat If i don't have a kitchen and i get nauseus from eating outside food all the time? The kitchen isn't mine, the guy who lives next door is renting it, he leaves it unlock If i need to use it or do laundry, but i feel uncomfortable cooking further. Maybe i should try to cook in the end? I feel so stupid for renting a place without a kitchen. I get unwell and my mind floods with "it's because of this place, you're so stupid for hiring it". And on top my stupid friend took me to her apartment that she's leaving and said I can rent it. But i don't have energy to move out all again. I will lose my deposit. And also it doesn't have a tv and i can't survive without a tv with my anxiety. I overthink my living situation all the time. And she isn't helping. And we were at university and im sick and it was raining and she was like "let's hang out". I said im sick and it's raining but she insisted and said she has a car and we can go to her place and that there was a GyroLand(they have really nice food, gyros and so) there and we could eat. We went there, took me to her apartment, i got nervious. I was feeling really nervious since all day. My ex-roommate called and i was already ready to cry. And it turned out what she thought was GyroLand wasn't GyroLand. I was hungry as hell, having nothing to eat at home so i just got something from there. She left me at the bus stop, i got nervious, caught a bus that wasn't mine, then walked by foot. Got home and took a shower to warm before my sickness gets worse. And then my ex-roommate called asking If im coming to get my stuff i forgot and i just got out of shower so i said Tommorrow morning. I have to go there at 10am, then to university at 10:30 am to 4:30 pm, then i have to go to the hospital and see sis who is there because she's waking up nauseus at the middle of the night (damn, like me) and mom. Then have to go to the gym try to freeze my card because i'm too sick to exercise. And just going to school at my state is terrible and i have to see sis and mom (really triggering plus at hospital), go to my previous accomodation (triggering) and try to freeze my gym card (stressful, i don't understand their policy and they don't understand im dying). And then my friend would be like "why are you mad at", "why are you having emotional outbursts", "You should have not camed If so". Like i told you i don't feel well but u didn't understand and i'm a people please. And then i will be the bad guy for being angry and unstable. And how to do my chores at day when i litterary can't stay asleep at night?! Even when i try. I want to cry. I need someone here to support me, reassure me, take care of me, give me medical and psychological support. When i was little and i was nauseus at night, i had dad. I'm scared out of my mind. I want to scream. And i know you will say "get new friends" but it's not that easy. I was so despaired that i accepted my social media message requests and now i have a couple of guys being scarily obssessed with me and not leaving me alone. Everything is so damn much. I guess im too broken to take care of myself. And still i try. And nobody sees my efforts and how im crashing.

[artisticcatowner]

I get it. If I was in your shoes I would also be having a difficult time. Except I'm in my shoes and I am having a hard time. Lol

[Against_the_current in reply to artisticcatowner]

Thanks for understanding and sorry to hear this

[hypercat54 in reply to Against_the_current]

In other words you want to be a child again and be looked after? We all want someone to care for us but accept that no one is going to give us their lives to do so.

You seem to want your friends to do this and when they don't or can't feel contempt for them instead and call them names.

Harsh words maybe but I think you need a reality check. I wonder if you will even think about what I said but this is a genuine attempt to get through to you and I hope you will see this.

[Against_the_current in reply to hypercat54]

I appreciate this but i don't want them to care for me like a Child, i want them to keep my opinion in mind

[hypercat54 in reply to Against_the_current]

'I need someone here to support me, reassure me, take care of me, give me medical and psychological support. When i was little and i was nauseus at night, i had dad'.

This is what you said in your post which is very different from what you are saying now. So which is it? Isn't this the reason you are so resentful of your dad's baby? You want to be the baby who you have seen as taking your rightful place. Be honest with yourself please.

[emmi331 in reply to hypercat54]

I have been wanting to say something similar to our friend AtC, but was afraid of being cast as the villain. I come from almost 25 years in AA, where tough love is practiced a lot. Believe me, alcoholics are mentally sick, too, as well as emotionally immature when they begin recovery. But a sponsor is not afraid to tell someone to quit complaining, start working on your resentments, and if you're going to have a pity party, set the table for one. Yes! A loving and caring sponsor will say this.

And now I guess I'm the villain lol. But I'm also loving and caring and want healing for ALL who come here.

[hypercat54 in reply to emmi331]

Ha ha well said emmi. I also have a genuine desire to help but don't think continual soft soaping does anything except encourage the unhealthy behaviour.

AtC has been here for quite a while and still saying exactly the same things as then despite all the help, advice, and support given. I judged a reality check was needed. Unless they are just using the site to vent and don't want that. That's fine too and I usually assume this is the case with them. Which is why I rarely respond. I don't like being a 'villain' either so will opt out and delete my replies if they attract criticism or are seen as unhelpful. No skin off my nose after all!

[emmi331]

Yes, it often sounds like same story, different verse....Well, I think there is an option to block posters, so maybe AtC would feel better if s/he blocked me.

It makes no difference to me, though I think some plain speaking might be beneficial to our friend.

[hypercat54 in reply to emmi331]

You can't block users on the main board. HU have been asked about this many times but have always said their software won't support it.

You can block them in pm though.

I agree that plain speaking is better sometimes, but it's only useful if the poster can listen and think about it. If they can't then it is a waste of time and energy. I guess everyone has got to come to that point in their own way.

[emmi331]

I wasn't even aware this website had a pm feature! I need to look around here more.....

[hypercat54 in reply to emmi331]

If you want to pm someone click on their name. Or look up their names under the members list.

You might also want to think about locking your posts to this community. If you don't then the full post and all the replies can go viral and even end up on social media.

[emmi331]

Thanks for your excellent advice! I think I've already locked my posts, but I will check my settings to be sure.