Is it possible to function in a dysfunctional family?

[Shanm2]

I'm hoping to go into therapy within the next month but i knew it was time to jump back in because when things happened i've been saying to myself for a while "i've save it for my therapist"

I now sadly believe that patterns followed within this family of mine and for so many years we have learned to function when big bad things happen, and when nothing happens we go back to being dysfunctional and now checking in with one another seems like a task. Is it possible to function with dysfunctional family? Sometimes it feel impossible.

Posting on here has saved me from despairing so if you relate then i feel for you.

[Roxylox]

My family l suppose functions pretty well, but there are certainly some things I would rather discuss with a therapist. I found the sessions l had earlier this year very beneficial.

I too am very thankful to this site.

[Shanm2 in reply to Roxylox]

Sometimes I think its best to talk to someone outside of family, less judgements are made i find

But really glad that the sessions were beneficial and helpful to you! Happy healing!

And also some people on this site has helped so much without even knowing it.

I hope you are well, take care

[Roxylox in reply to Shanm2]

I hope your sessions are helpful too.

[Shanm2 in reply to Roxylox]

Thank you

[Blueruth]

you can "survive" anything but how well is the question. (see handmaid's tale) At some point you need to get out if you want to be healthy. My family was dysfunctional. I got to leave at 16. Came back for a year at 19. Never went back.

[Shanm2 in reply to Blueruth]

I will look into handmaid's tale! Thank you for the suggestion and your reply

I hope that after you never went back, that your life got better

Hope you are okay

[Blueruth in reply to Shanm2]

I survived still deal with the fallout but it could have been worse. My brother did much better.

Season four is when it becomes cautionary… the consequences of mentally and physically abusing people and then they get out. I use a bit of a wide latitude in the comparison but it is the *construct* of family if not really familial.

[Shanm2 in reply to Blueruth]

I'm glad that you did because i got your wise words today. Your brother may appear to have done better but that not to say that you you did to get through wasnt worse or better either. You are enough and did enough to walk away!

But i will be sure to add this to my watch list!

Thanks again and well wishes!

[Hidden]

Some therapists say that every family is dysfunctional in one way or another, some are just worse than others. And don’t expect people who are narcissistic to change. I have my issues with my family but I’m not in a financial position to just be able to leave them.

[Shanm2 in reply to Hidden]

I have heard this saying before about every family being a little dysfunctional.

I relate alot to the narcissistic part but only in the last year came to realise just how entwined the ropes of narcissism had came apart of the people in my family, and the behaviour that follows.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, i wish the best for you and i hope you'll be okay. Stay strong!

[Milkshake_15]

My family is very dysfunctional and I get you, it does feel freaking impossible to function within it, but I've found if I have something to work on and hope for, I can function independently of their dysfunction.

[Shanm2 in reply to Milkshake_15]

Wow! Your words said it perfectly, having something to work on hope for is helpful beyond means.

Sometimes i also feel like because of the way they function, it helps me to know how not to live as its unhealthy, I don't know if i get strength from that.

Thank you for your reply! It helped greatly Hope you are well, take care!

[Dolphin14]

I chose to leave mine. It was that or be pulled down for the rest of my life.

🐬

[Shanm2 in reply to Dolphin14]

This hits on a whole other level! It has become most of my life that sometimes it feel like i can't leave, whether through obligation or otherwise.

But it has been pointed out to be that i don't owe them anything and don't have to stay and can in fact leave. Its just the emotional grip/guilt that it has over me, blinds me from doing so. And thats probably a good thing to discuss with a therapist.

Thank you for your words! They made me think more about it. Hope you are well and thank you again!

[Dolphin14 in reply to Shanm2]

Def discuss with your therapist. I understand the hesitation. But like you said you don't owe them anything. The relationship may improve it you leave. If not you will be glad you have your own space.

I am well. Thank you for asking

Wishing you the best

[waylay in reply to Shanm2]

I left my family behind too.

[Shanm2 in reply to waylay]

I hope your decision made your life that little bit easier

[Shanm2]

Very true Thank you!