Not really sure what to put for a title

I'm new here and just trying to figure out how to cope with PTSD and anxiety. Its been almost a year with the PTSD and a few months since the anxiety diagnoses. Both of them overlap with each other so I probably could've had the anxiety longer and just didn't know it until I was diagnosed a few months ago. Someone told me the other day after almost passing out at work again "its hard to tell where one starts and the other ends." That person is right about that.

[Dolphin14]

Checko19

Welcome to the community. I have CPTSD and anxiety is a part of this.

Trauma work helped me with this. In order to fully understand the anxiety I had to get to the root of the PTSD

🐬

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for the warm welcome, I appreciate it.

[Beautifullybroken38]

I have both as well, and I am really struggling to be okay these days. I keep having all these physical symptoms and I’m scared it’s something worse but truly feel like it’s my anxiety/PTSD/CPTSD. But I am just not okay. You mentioned almost passing out.. does that happen often?

I’m curious, if you don’t mind me asking, are you on meds for anxiety/ PTSD?

[Hidden in reply to Beautifullybroken38]

I have physical symptoms all the time, and I've scared people before. I accidently scared the poor security guard at work a few weeks ago, I'm a cashier at a grocery store right now (it doesn't do my PTSD and anxiety any good) and while I was scanning some items for him, something on my 6 slammed and I was went off, I couldn't calm down for 30 minutes. I've lost count at how many times I almost passed out, I almost passed out the other day again. When I talked to the pharmacist at work, he told me that anxiety can do that. I don't take any medication for the PTSD or anxiety.

[Beautifullybroken38 in reply to Hidden]

Anxiety and PTSD are terrible, I’m sorry you are dealing with all this. I’ve just recently started having such severe physical symptoms. It’s terrifying.

I don’t take any meds other than as needed and I don’t like taking those. I haven’t had much luck with anxiety / depression meds. What I’m currently doing isn’t working well either so I just feel very lost and afraid

[Hidden in reply to Beautifullybroken38]

They are terrible, I go through that every day. I'm sorry you're having a difficult time as well. I've been to the hospital 4 times recently, I've been to the crisis center and they're not really helpful. Its frustrating, one time I went to the hospital, after a 4 hour wait they told me to go to the crisis center next time, well I went to the crisis center a few weeks or a month later and after an hour wait for a 30 minute convo, they told me to go to the hospital. Another time when I went to the crisis center, I had to talk about why I have PTSD, the look on that counselors face after, just made me stop talking. I've been to therapy and been given up on twice so I'm not getting help right now. My family isn't understanding at all, and I've probably heard everything in the book by now.

[Stippler]

I have PTSD GAD OCD and social anxiety. I also sometimes have bad panic attacks. I used to take clonazepam, which helped for a while, but it made my depression far worse, to the point that I almost died (w/o sharing details). Anyway, I ended up in the hospital numerous times, went through much self inflicted drama with others afterwards, and decided to stop the clonazepam. Been off of it for 5 years. I have been using herbal remedies from a local health food store, which works well enough to have my psychiatrist recommend I keep doing it.

[Hidden in reply to Stippler]

I haven't tried any medication and I really don't want to. I'm really hesitant to go back to getting help. I don't want to be given up on again. I don't know if the anxiety I have is social anxiety, but I have a difficult time having people close to me, I don't like anyone on my 6, if someone else in the aisle in the store I won't go down that aisle. I can't walk through an aisle normally, I blast through it. I have a major issues with crowds. I have the worst time with physical contact. Shacking someone's hand is ok, but hugs, someone rubbing me on the arm or on the back, or grabbing me by the arm, I really don't like. I've gotten a bit combative a few times, but that's because of an anxiety attack. The only one that seems to calm me down is my cat, but other then him, I don't want anyone else around me,

[Stippler in reply to Hidden]

I too have lots of fear around crowds. When I went to the grocery store, I used to walk 90 miles an hour, cut people off and be rude in other ways because of my panic. Beginning with the pandemic, I stopped going to the store and ordering my groceries online and having them delivered. I hope that is not a mistake (in dealing with my fear). I do have to say that, after interacting with all of you these last 2 months, I am not as afraid of my neighbors. I feel a little more confident with my social anxiety. I am hoping that lasts and is not "just my imagination." It seems like reading posts from all of you and interacting with you folks helps me by giving me a little positive experience.

[Silverc58]

hello

[NickieLane]

I was in law enforcement for 11 years and saw horrific stuff. But I maintained but as soon as I had to take an early medical retirement my PTSD hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve already have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 20 years old. My psychiatrist utvme on propranolol for PTSD that did absolutely nothing. I really need to find a good psychiatrist that will listen to me when I say it’s not helping. She just ups the dose. It still doesn’t work. Constantly upping my dose on antidepressant too. I just give up with her.

[Hidden in reply to NickieLane]

Thank you for your service. I joined a local volunteer fire department right out of high school, I was 18 at the time. I'm 19 almost 20 now. I ran two bad calls just two weeks apart from each other, and those two bad calls really messed me up, I was 19 when I ran them. I was relieved of duty shortly after. I wanted to continue serving but it was classic "its ok to reach out for help, but as soon as you do, they show you the door." Its not only the PTSD and anxiety, I'm going through grief in away also. I didn't just loose something I loved doing and worked so hard for, I lost part of myself and my other family. Those guys I served with, they were like my brothers and sisters. The day when my deputy chief came over to my residence and took my uniform (he did that because I wasn't mentally strong enough at that time so he was nice enough to swing by and return it for me) its like part of me just died that day.

Its frustrating when the treatment we're using just doesn't work. It just leaves you feeling like you just don't know what to do anymore.

[NickieLane in reply to Hidden]

I was the only female on patrol and was promoted to a field training officer., I had a female who thought patrol would be fun. We got a call of a suicide and the dispatcher was on the phone with the wife when her husband made the final shot to his brain. So when I got to the scene. I could still smell gun smoke in the air. The wife was in the yard yelling for help and fire fighters were staging until I cleared the scene. My female training started crying so I had to deal with the wife yelling for help and my trainee crying and neighbors starting to hover. I told my trainee to pull out her pistol because sometimes suicidal people are homicidal so I just basically told her to follow behind me until I found the husband. He was DOA in the bathroom and at that point I told my crying trainee to clear her eyes and just keep the wife in the living and I’ll handle the rest. I advised fire fighters and ambulance scene was safe and notified an investigators and supervisor to be in route. After several hours of me and the investigator finding all the shell casings. I spoke with my trainee. I told her the was just any easy day I go through and asked if she was ready to see anything worse that my haunt her forever and she said I think I’ll go back working in the jail. It’s not for easy eyes and it’s not for everyone. I could never be a fireman because I’m afraid of fires. I saved a few people before fires destroyed the entire home but I could not fight a fire. So I’m impressed. You are young and I can see you like helping people. That is your calling. Maybe just in another setting.

[Hidden in reply to NickieLane]

Its not an easy job and we see a lot. My first bad call was a suicide, and I remember that call like it was yesterday. I remember seeing them carry that patient out of the bathroom, and then putting her in the bedroom because we needed more room during that working code, I also remember one of my partners on my 6 tapping his fingers on the dresser, I could still hear my guys saying no shock advised after seeing an unshockable rhythm on that life pack. We just couldn't get her back after 30 minutes, they called the time of death. She was probably already DOA. She was in her 60s and she drank herself to to death. I remember being told to get the sheet out of the back of that ambo, walking down the steps in the residence still in full PPE, looking at that family member in that kitchen crying, the cop at the door looking at me as I was walking out to get that sheet. When I came back with the sheet, I seen that lifeless body on the floor. We cleaned up our equipment, cleared the call, went back into service, and restocked the fire apparatus when we got back to the firehouse. I remember having to comfort my partner a bit after that call, she kept asking me over and over how old that patient was and why there was blood and non stop alcohol coming out of the mouth and nose (I seen that, but my partner didn't, I seen more then she did on that call). My guys wouldn't stop checking on me after that call. The second bad call, was just as bad as the first one, maybe even slightly worse. I still can't play piano because of that second bad call. Sometimes working at that store, I get some people that look like the patients I lost and it scares me to death and sometimes I'm not able to leave I got to keep working.

[designguy]

Sounds like you have had a difficult traumatic time and would benefit from working with a therapist that specializes in treating trauma/c-ptsd and ptsd. Mine used emdr therapy which Is very helpful for treating it. The therapist can also provide you with skills and tools you can use outside of therapy. I also know that my therapist also treated front line responders who really benefit from this kind of therapy. Welcome to the group and best to you.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

I don't know, I'm hesitant to go back to getting help I've been given up on twice and I can't hear that again.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

That is why if you decide to do it again you want to find a therapist who specifically specializes in treating trauma. A lot of therapists say the do but are really generalists and don't really know how to treat it. Most therapists have websites or information on referral sites like psychology today's site so you can check them out to see if they are a likely fit first. Do research and don't be afraid to fire a therapist if they aren't right for you and find one that is. A went through a lot of therapists before finding one that really helped me. There is also a lot of good info on youtube about healing from trauma to educate your self about.