I been in a relationship for 2 years in April. I love them very much. it was online untill Nov 2024 when i moved in to their family home out in the country. I pay rent to their grandfather. I have disabilties and service dog to help. From day 1 it started spiraling down hill. not with my partner but their family. and they keep showing more of their true side. Their mother has said i shouldn't own anything, has try to kill my dog to prove a point by leaving stuff around that can kill him and saying if i dont like it clean it up. has thrown my stuff away after saying i can store it in places. lies constantly to us and their other family members about me. just turning everyone against me. there no pleasing them cause they constantly changes the goal and what counts as helping. they even told my partner I'm to be a slave to them and obey if i was a good partner. i'm trans but i have to hide it here cause they are Christians that are against all that. I just see no hope for the future. I'm trying for local insurance to try to get back to having medical help. I worked so hard to move forward and get better from the abuse i took as a child and now im back in that horrible situation and i don't see a way out.
Not sure what to do: I been in a... - Anxiety and Depre...
Not sure what to do
I'm so sorry your going through this.... in-laws.... I have been dealing with this myself for over a decade now....and the best I can tell you is this.....stop listening to them....carve out your own safe space, and if this person loves you like you love them, they will respect that.... and if I can give you one huge word or two of advice.... never get in-between the in-laws and your partner.... stay safe and out of it all. Make an exit strategy from conversations your uncomfortable with in a way so as to say nothing about what they are saying, except you have to go to the bathroom or do something and just not be in the same room with them winging or giving unsolicited advice to you, your an adult...you have managed to take care of yourself, you don't need their B.S.....But if your already having issues....you may want to think of you and your partner getting your own space.... council house, rent allowance, disability benefits for housing....what ever you can do and get your own space. It won't get better any time soon, if they are already crossing boundaries with those kinds of comments.
Yea been trying to look at something. I have a court hearing for Disaabiliity next month so praying it goes through. cause even though i try to stay in my rented room all the time. she either throws my stuff away or just throws the door open to attack me. she trys to gaslight. she even told my partner in front of me. that I cant love them cause i dont love her because they are the exact same person.
I feel for ya....believe me.... we are now dealing with the son's girlfriend who is trying to fill all the rooms with stuff...she's a hoarder. I put a lock on my door, and use it when I have to go to the dentist....it's my space...
And if your paying rent.....I'd suggest you look for another room to rent elsewhere till you get this situation worked out with your partner. Paying rent affords you some right to privacy and leaving your stuff alone. I would suggest to just put everything of yours you can, even food, in your room for now. Good luck with your disability.
Yea planning to. and i ran out of money a bit ago so my partner and friends been paying rent. but still their mother hasnt paid a cent for me but she feels as her child partner should be subhuman and only live to obey. i feel like she also on drugs cause she does random. im cleaning till 5am but it just moving furniture around
I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. You are not alone and you have options. When your in-laws are saying or doing these things, what does your partner do about it? If your partner has your back and supports you, it may be wise to think about setting healthy boundaries or even going low-contact with your in-laws. If your partner isn't being supportive and having your back, I would ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you really want. You have a service animal because you need them and your dog is there to help you. Even though he/she can't talk, they have your back! So don't be afraid to follow your heart and feed it with beautiful things. Change can be scary at first but you deserve to be happy and feel loved from your partner and their family. At the very least, your in-laws should treat you with respect. Can you go back to the place you were at before you moved in with them? Do you have anyone you can stay with for a few days to clear your mind?
I moved to KS from NY. to big of a price to go back and stay. and they try but their trying more to just hold everything together cause they dont wanna fully cut their mother off cause she guilt trips them
That's a complicated situation but you are doing you're best. That's what's most important. If you're partner is on your side, can you have a conversation with him where you can express how hard this has been on you and talk about solutions? The priority here regardless of the outcome of that conversation should be your well-being and your dogs. I don't know what your financial situation is or where in NY you are but if you're in the city, get on Nooklyn, Roomies, or Spareroom. There are tons of cheap rooms for rent and that can be a great option while you see how the dynamic between his parents work out. I've use those sites before and met some really awesome people.
In Ks now , was in Ny. i have no income right now. But we been talking. and thinking of moving to KY to be closer to my family. my mom rents out a home there we could take over. so just hoping we can save enough for that. just my partner mom keeps trying to scam money . they stopped handing over money at least after they asked for a loan of 570 then called my partner greedy for wanting repayment.
Oh I'm sorry! I misread that. It sounds like you have a good plan/idea. Stick with that and make that your goal. In the meantime, see if you can try some techniques to tune her out! Like don't pay her any mind at all. I'm here for you and hope you find some peace today
This is about everything that I would say and ask especially wondering where the heck your partner is during all of this.If my family did that once to my partner I would certainly tell them that they had to stop and could never do it again.
What horrible situation and I would move away with your partner. There are things you shouldn't have to tolerate. Get happier and the best way forward is to leave. Think of your mental health and your partners and just get out as soon as you have viable plan.
I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible suffering and abuse to which you are being subjected and which you do not deserve.Can you get in touch with support organizations that help people who are being abused figure out how to escape the situation and get some place safe?
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